It was early dawn when a pair of sleep crusted eyes fluttered open to greet the darkness of his family den. The teen yawned widely, feeling his muscles stretch to accommodate the action, as his body worked to get the dire wolf into a more alert state of mind. All around him lay sprawled out in various poses were his siblings. Felixes being the most unique out of the lot. After a few minutes of staring into space, not really focusing on anything, the child turned his gaze to the mouth of the den. He could make out the grass at the dens entrance and the outline of the various trees that populated Inarias landscape and peeking through the spaces of their canopies was the soft blue hue that came with the rising of the morning sun. It must have been early  since no one else was awake. Even father laid motionless in his spot asleep where he normally would have been gone. A soft smile lit up his face as he realized that he would be able to sneak out and avoid most of his packmates. Birch did not dislike or fear any of his fellow Inarians, quite the opposite, he was just so self concious of his own shortcomings when around them that he just couldn't even attempt a simple 'how are you' because he feared the possibility of someone seeing them too. After all they were so much more than he was. 

Carefully shifting out of Gavins hold, while struggling to remember how they managed to fall sleep while in such an uncomfortable position, Birch headed out to begin his journey but not before whispering a soft 'good morning' to his sleeping family as he started off towards his destination. The young dire didn't know if anyone was aware of his attempts at learning about herbs and their healing properties, since he tried his hardest to stay out of the spotlight, but he had been picking up on bits and pieces of knowledge that he had managed to overhear from the healers.

Father had been stressing over Felixes desire to become a soldier so much so that it made Birch want to avoid adding more problems onto his plate. Not to mention that he couldn't stand the thought of causing another person pain. Which rendered the very idea of him seeking the rank null and void. Plus he was rather scrawny, built more for running than fighting, and was easily scared. When it came to fight or flight Birch would always choose flight. The Inarian was weak simple and plain. However he loved the idea of healing his loved ones, whether it be from illness or injury, the idea that he could take away their pain and cure them from sickness drove him to learn more about the medical arts. The healers were impressive with their knowledge and understanding about the bodies physic and the multiple properties, and uses, of medicinal herbs that they left the innocent dire breathless in awe. So he would listen in on their conversations when he was able, minding to keep his distance as to avoid detection, and had grown to idolize them. 

Tan paws glided effortlessly over Inarias forest floor, disturbing the dew drops that clung to the grass as his paws brushed across them, leaving his toes chilled and wet while he soaked in the serene nature that surrounded him, the sounds of crickets singing echoing in the stillness and the feel of the cool morning air filling him with a peace that he could not explain. He loved mornings like this. When he was alone and way from the loud noises of his packmates and their hustle and bustle routines. Out here he could focus and enjoy doing what he secretly loved. Tending to his garden. A hobby he had learned from watching his father plant seedlings of Inarias famous purple trees. However Birches garden contained common herbs for healing. Thanks to ghosting Inarias healers he had learned which plants were used to disinfect cuts and to ease symptoms of nausea. He was always hungry to learn more but he would no doubt just end up messing up and making a fool of himself...he was a bit clumsy. Sighing in dejection the dires golden eyes glanced at the vibrant foliage surrounding him but he did a double take when he noticed a familiar figure. Curiosity getting the better of the cautious teen the dire made his way closer to them. Keeping in mind to make as little noise as possible so that he wouldn't  catch their attention and waited behind the trunk of a blooming tree as he strained to hear the knowledge that awaited him today.

(mood music: https://youtu.be/bBngPxVK-Xw )

Fires. Earthquakes. Heartbreak. Gerar forgot what order it all happened in now. All he knew was that he'd lost so much and the pain was too real. Harlem had disappeared and even though he knew she wasn't his anymore he still needed to know where she was, if she was safe. 

He'd slipped away from Tortuga in all the commotion and went looking for her, and any of the kids that might be out there. In the end he'd spent a lot of time wandering around in circles with no leads and no hope. The lonliness set in and he longed for familiar faces, family or no. He'd even wondered where his mother might be.. if she were still alive, or any of his siblings. If he knew where to look he might have gone to her (he didn't know why..)

In the end he found his way back to home. Home wasn't where it used to be.. But home is where your loved ones are, and if you haven't any loved ones then old aquaintences are the next best thing. Home was Tortuga, where ever they landed. Wrayth would be there, some how he was the one constant thing in his life, and Gerar's pace picked up a little at the thought of fishing again with his old friend.

He still disliked the sea, and he snorted in derision (or fear) when he saw the island so far away from shore and the bridge that connected it to the safe part of the world he was standing on. Every crash of the waves against land made his heart swell, he didn't like the feeling. There was no turning back now though, not after he was so close.

He howled deep and long, hoping any of them would hear it, the ones he was here for. Wrayth. Eremiel. Niklaus. Tyche. Pandora... He shouldn't hope to see Harlem and Quiver again, but he couldn't help hoping a little bit, now that he was here. He would be happy to see anyone familiar.

ooc  what even is coding

Cal had done his absolute best, he had tried so hard, he had stayed up night after night, trying to keep this little thing alive, and it just didn't work out.  He sat there, with his bottom lip jutting out from under his top lip, and large, fat tears running down his face.  Those tears ran down his long nose, and fell right next to the small figure laying on the ground.  He sniffled once, and dragged his whole arm across his face, clearing it of both tears and snot, before blinking even more tears away.  

He'd found little "Hopper" twitching near a creek bed, breathing so fast and so heavy, and when he approached she tried to run, but she couldn't even hop a few feet before falling over and spasming again.  Cal had made sure she knew he wasn't gonna eat her, cooing to her, and crawling on the ground to her, even offering her berries and some thistle he'd found nearby, but she didn't want to eat, she just laid there panting and foaming at the mouth.  Ever so gently, after gaining her trust, he picked her up and took her to a place that was more hidden from other predators, a little thicket he'd made for himself, and his little 'friends' he would find, and try to help.  

He had tried everything- herbs, webs, water- everything- but nothing had helped.  

She'd died two days after he found her, and it wrecked him.  He loved her- as he did all his little friends, and every time he let one of them down, it broke his little heart.

He found a nice spot under a willow tree, and began to dig a hole.  She deserved somewhere nice to rest, and this seemed peaceful, under the willow tree and by the creek, seemed peaceful enough.  While he dug, he cried a bit, his stuffed nose muffling his words as he sang a little song to remember his little friend Hopper. "Hop-per, hop-per, you were such a good little bop-per. .. Hop-per hop-per, I'm sorry i couldn't help you prop-per..."  Another sniffle, and a little sob, as he continued digging.  

The his early morning had begun in the low lands and what a mistake that had been, an ugly little girl charging at him,biting and snapping. She demanded to see what was hidden under his hair and when Toya firmly said no, the pup attacked him once more, until he relented. She then threatened him for his eye, to think she actually wanted such a thing. Coming towards him with a stick in her mouth saying it'd be painless.

He shoved her then, and then again and again. He shoved that child so hard that she tumbled her way down the hillside and away from the wall. "You are awful. You are very awful." His monotone voice said coldly over the whipping winds. "Don't get up. Sorry, and goodbye." Long legs would carry him away from the child, far away but his large ears would hear her shriek out in anger and possibly pain.

When his legs finally felt as if they'd crumble beneath him, chest heaving labored breaths and his tongue lollied from his mouth, that lone amber eye of his spied those pools of death. Many would recoil at the sight, a memory that gripped and ripped at him. His fathers telling them all to STAY AWAY from this place. But Toya moved closer, each step sure and filled with purpose.

A paw would raise to brush long locks and make sure they securely covered that disgusting blemish, and jaws would part as he lowered himself down. His mind wandered to Kol Nidre, he had come back to life, he'd been the only one.Why couldn't it be Aeon as well? Do I care if I survive this? Bury the dead where they’re found. Mouth watered, and he expected to feel fear or uncertainty. And yet, out here on his own, in the earliest hours before the sun even peaked the horizon, Toya felt nothing.

Everything felt painfully slow, a second became a minute into an hour and then a day, and somehow it all felt like an eternity. A small voice called out to him then, unfamiliar. "Wouldn't you rather play instead? We could play a game, you and me?" The young male pulled back then, blinking about the pools to try and spy who had spoken to him. "I can't play games right now, I have to do something." He called out in reply. "All my games are very fun, I promise! Or-or! We could sit and talk?" Toya tilted his head. "I don't want to play games right now, I'm sorry. Where are you? Who are you?" His fur bristled only slightly. "It's okay, I understand. Maybe we can talk like I said. I'm right beside you, can't you see? I'm called Kii." Head whipped around to see a small formless ball of light? The glow was faint, but it felt warm? "Not many people come here, you're the first in a while. You seem to be sad though, I know I can get lonely too." Toya hunkered down, eye drifting back to the pool and then to Kii's formless light.

"I'm not sad, I don't think?? It's just how my face always is. Or maybe... I dunno. There's a lot happening, I guess? I miss someone very much, and I can't see them anymore." He said softly, brows knitting together as his head lowered to rest on his paws. "Oh! Sorry, I didn't mean to assume!" The glow grew brighter for a moment. "Ah, I'm sorry-" "Toya." "Ah! Toya! Whatta nice name! I'm sorry, I'm here if you'd like to talk about it?" He'd glance at the light with the same nondescript expression, even though he'd call it uncertainty. Opening up can open some wounds. "It'll be okay, Toya, I promise. It's good to talk about stuff." His bottom lip quivered, but a smile formed instead of a weak sob. "That's what my dads say too." The light moved closer and he felt a tad warmer, as if reached out to gently lean against his shoulder. "It really does help buddy." Kii's soft voice in his ears calmed his nerves enough, nervous? Was he nervous, finally?! A big fat tear that had welled up in his eye now rolled down his cheek. "Okay, I think I want to talk now."

And from an outsider's perspective looking in, you'd see a hellion boy laying in the grass by cursed pools, in deep conversation with someone or something, yet nothing was there. Though the relief on his face was apparent, and the tears streamed from his eyes. All Toya knew was he had his own special someone to listen to him.