[Kimster]

Time flies when you're having fun. Schimmah has always hated that saying. Time only flies while you're having fun? So the rest of the time it schlogs along, dragging every second out for as long as it possibly can, torturing the poor unit of time until it's unheard screams have reached feverpitch and then, only then, it ticks over to the next hapless second. Or the next most hated saying: it'll be over before you know it. No it frikking won't! You're very much aware of whatever is happening and because you're not having fun the seconds teeter by at the speed of senior with a walking stick and alzheimer's! Schimmah grumbled under her breath and turned over onto her other side, curling up into a tiny ball of floof and doing her best to hide from the world. Her nose buried under her tail, each breath poofing up a section fur like some furry dolphin spouting out water from it's airhole. A single tear tracked down her blue cheek, dripping onto the den's floor. 

Raka.

First Daddums, and now her surrogate mother slash saviour slash mentor. Sure Raka hadn't been easy, she had severe memory loss, was prone to violent outbursts, but Schimmah had helped her through it. She'd started to remember stuff. Like her mate and this pack. Then she'd decided to try and find the pack and take Schimmah with her. Because wolves belonged in a pack, she'd said. Because wolves needed each other, and helped each other, she'd said. A pack offers safety, she'd said. Schimmah could only blame herself, if she hadn't tried to help Raka remember, they would still be roaming the wilds happily. Now here she was stuck in this pack full of scary wolves with Raka dead and buried. Raka had tried to get Schimmah integrated into the X Clan. She couldn't figure out why, though. Just because she had similar markings to a male they'd all known in the past? Schimmah didn't even know that wolf! And just because she had similar markings she was punished by trying to be pushed into a little box of where they thought she belonged. Schimmah may be scared, and she may be unsure and not as self confident, but nobody - nobody! - tells her where she should or shouldn't belong. Ok to be fair, neither Raka nor the rest of that scary clan had actually tried to force her to accept them. Even while Raka was alive, Schimmah had avoided her den she'd shared with her mate. The scary face one. At least he'd tried to be nice to her, and the little white wolf, Sara, had also tried to be nice. But she had barely spoken to her own mom. Was that how much Raka had meant to her? Not one of that supposed clan realised how much Raka had done, how important she was to Schimmah. No they were always only talking about Akutan. Akutan this and Akutan that. Oh he was so smart, oh he was so dark, blah blah blah. 

Schimmah had taken an instant dislike to the dark male. His face was always angry, and he only ever thought of himself. And then he'd argued with his own pregnant mate and attacked his own sister and then wanted to kill himself? She growled at that memory - with everyone so close to each other, she'd heard every word and from her den vantage point had been able to see quite a bit. It was that behaviour that had made her decide to avoid the X Clan. They were not worth her time. And even if she were related to them in some way, it wouldn't matter. She had also, that same day, moved her den to the furthest corner away from them, away from this pack with horrible wolves that only scared her. 

Ok, no wait, she chastised herself. Now you're being as bad as Akutan. Not ALL the wolves were that bad. Mercury was cool. In a scary way, sure, actually she reminded Schimmah of Raka. She'd enjoyed finding those moonstones and seeing Mercury looking pleased at her. Ok, that's one wolf. At Raka's funeral there were two other females that had drawn her attention - a brown small one and another one that was also Raka's daughter. Maybe she should go find them? Uh. Huh. Rigth and then what? Just strike up a conversation? Egads the horror. Oh wait - there was that older gentleman, the dad or granddad or something to the red scary one that was pregnant. He was nice. He'd always been nice. And he wasn't scary at all. Hakan, that's it. 

She was on her paws and pacing towards Hakan's den before the rest of her insecurities could keep her there. As she neared it, she slowed down until she was barely moving. How on earth was she going to do this?

Um hi I like you be my friend?

Um hi you're nice be my friend?

Um hi I miss my mom and dad and I need a hug...

[Charley]

H a k a n,

"And though we lose our stake, Heaven is where we make it
Even in the smallest places, Can a garden grow"

actions - “speech” - thoughts

"Shimmah! By the stars! Thank goodness! Come with me!" Hakan said quickly and exuberantly as he barreled out of his den on a mission, nearly running her over and talking as he urged her on to walk with him, "I need some lemon balm, and passion flower. The Passion flower is probably nearing its end of season and I need some before they drop. Hopefully we can get some Jonswort before the flowers are gone too, and The mullein! The flowers should be blooming nice and high! Lets go!" He cheered and urged and brought Shimmah with him to the edge of the woods, away from the hustle and bustle of the castle.

At the north side of the castle cliffs, between the cliffs and the woods they would find the perfect ecosystem to tall growing soft yellow flowered mullein and sprigs of warm star flowered Jonswort. The passion flower would be growing deeper in the woods.

"It's so good to have you come along," Hakan said gently with a cheerful smile. He had been wanting to get to know the girl for some time and hopefully a distraction of picking important herbal flowers would help them both. And a good way to get away from the vicinity of certain wolves. He had seen her coming from his den just as he was heading out, but she had seemed lost in thought and when she stopped he knew he had to find a way to get her to come all the way and help her feel more comfortable.

ooc

Photo © Erik Stine / coding © vixxie's codes / lyrics © Garden by Noah Gundersen

[Kimster]

"Shimmah! By the stars! Thank goodness! Come with me!" Hakan barrelled out of his den at the speed of a ... uh...very fast walk. His mouth was going much faster: "I need some lemon balm, and passion flower. The Passion flower is probably nearing its end of season and I need some before they drop. Hopefully we can get some Jonswort before the flowers are gone too, and The mullein! The flowers should be blooming nice and high! Lets go!"

Schimmah gave a squeek as he rushed at her, but as he passed by she got caught up in his wake like a little blue tugboat and quickly hastened with him. The names of the plants swirled around her head and made her eyes bug out. Like how was she going to remember all those things? Hakan prattled on and she found herself smiling. It was a small, shy little smile, her green eyes peeking out at him from beneath her over-long bangs. For every four steps Hakan made she had to trot at least two, her being so much smaller. She noticed that he was steering her away from the castle and the rest of her pack.

She wasn't worried.

Not even one little bit. As a matter of fact, the longer they walked together, the happier she felt. She hung on to his every word and felt herself relax in his presence, as relaxed and safe as she used to feel with Daddums. There was also, sometimes, this nagging dream of a shadowy, blueish figure, that also conjured the same feelings within her. Nevermind that, she was here in the now, and she had to help him find..err...planty stuff. She noticed that they were heading to between the cliff face and the woods, and she remembered that at the border patrol there'd been a bear encounter. Oh dear. The old man didn't look as if he could withstand a strong breeze nevermind a bear. Schimmah would just have keep a good lookout and steer him away from trouble before trouble finds them. Raka had taught her how to do that.

"Wellahey justa tell me what the planty thingies lookum like and I'll help you get some." she said when Hakan took a moment to breathe. "I'm, um, I'm not too bad at finding stuff." she added, lifting her head and strutting a teeny bit at the memory of all she'd found on the border quest.

"It's so good to have you come along,"

Green eyes widened a bit, and then lowered bashfully. She smiled broadly and she replied: "Oh. Um. Thank you for um... asking me to-a come-along.", then ducked her head away from him, whispering to herself "It's good to feel wanted"

(OOC: does Hakan have an herb pouch round his neck?)

[Charley]

H a k a n,

"And though we lose our stake, Heaven is where we make it
Even in the smallest places, Can a garden grow"

actions - “speech” - thoughts

Hakan smiled to himself at Schimmahs verbal inflections. Oh yes, he knew exactly who she was but he didn't need to call any attention to it.

"Yes! You found those beautiful moonstones. I was hoping your knack for finding things would help these old eyes spy some herbs. Thankfully the mullein will be easy." His eyesight wasn't failing him, but it was better to have two sets of eyes out instead of by himself again. He described a tall single stalk clustered with soft yellow flowers, at the base would be a custer of soft large silver green leaves that had a fuzzy texture to them, that would the Mullein. Then he described the Jonswort herb as a smaller weed with a cluster of yellow star like flowers that stained your paws a darker color when squeezed.

He had taken with him a large basket that they had used in their travels from Inaria to place picked herbs in. It was worn and he would soon need a new one. He took some time to find a few herbs and explain how to harvest the flowers and what he was looking for so she could help him effectively, teaching her to skip every two plants she found and harvest the third to make sure there was plenty left to keep growing.

As they walked around and gathered, Hakan asked in a low and gentle sort of way, "I don't mean to bring up something that might be too difficult right now, though I am wondering how you're doing, Shimmah." He asked openly. She was absolutely free to suggest they talk some other time, or even close that door to him and he hoped she felt that freedom with him.

ooc Not at the moment! But he brought a basket!

Photo © Erik Stine / coding © vixxie's codes / lyrics © Garden by Noah Gundersen

[Kimster]

"Yes! You found those beautiful moonstones. I was hoping your knack for finding things would help these old eyes spy some herbs. Thankfully the mullein will be easy."

Schimmah blushed at his praise, and listened attentively at the description of the flowers and that she had to pick every third one and why they had to do it that way. It was interesting, to be sure, but the flowers stank, they prickled her nose making her sneeze and euwgh there were worms in the ground! She wouldn't term this her favourite past time but there was no way in hell she would complain. She was enjoying it too much. She loved picking the stinky stuff just because she knew she was helping Hakan. He was such a restful persona. He just, sort of, was. Like, how can she describe it? He doesn't disappear into the background, neither does he push himself into the limelight. He was like this calming, peacefull island of just being where she could relax amidst more dominant personalities.

"I don't mean to bring up something that might be too difficult right now, though I am wondering how you're doing, Shimmah." the young wolfess glanced up at him, startled, and gave him a small scowl, tucking her head into her ruff and looking like an angry pidgeon. Gmf. Nosy old coot. Perceptive old coot. Absolutely right old coot. She looked away for a moment, scratching at the ground in thought, and then answered:

"I'm fine! Yessum totally fine. Hundred persent peachy. Happiness is me." she said her voice a little too high and chirpy.

Her eyes strayed to his basket. She adored his little basket. I mean a basket! that you can put things in! Who knew! Not that a very good basket, granted. The herbs tended to poke out of the small holes that it was riddled in, and that handle looked like it might come apart any second. While Hakan's back was turned picking up something, Schimmah took a good look at the macgadget. Hmm. Didn't seem too hard to make. And...wait...where was that... She darted away, looking for that bushy type thing that had nice broad leaves and finding, she plucked a few, grimacing at the taste of it in her mouth. Blerch. Then she trotted back, took out the herbs already in the basket, and used these broad leaves as a lining.

"Hakan," she said and pointed to her handywork: "I found some leaves that'll help keep the herbs inside, but you need to get some more of the stuff it's made from to fix that handle. Uh...the leaves aren't poisonous, are they?" she asked belatedly. When he comes over for a look, she would sit down with downcast eyes and whisper for his ears alone:

"Actually...um. I-ah. Was lonely. I miss Raka. And. I. I miss my Daddums. And uh. I don't like this pack - well, I like you and Mercury butta Mercury issa kinda scary but good scary like Raka ...was.."

[Charley]

H a k a n,

"And though we lose our stake, Heaven is where we make it
Even in the smallest places, Can a garden grow"

actions - “speech” - thoughts

When she grimaced in that oh so Stormy way he couldn't help the crinkle in his eyes as he looked away to let her feel like he wouldn't press. He gave a knowing hum of assent as she chirped her totally fine status, not at all believing her but letting her have it. He continued to gather some more and let her wander about as well until she called him over.

As she pointed to her handiwork he had to do a double take because it looked like she had gathered some more herbs first before he noticed what her intention actually was.

"Oh! Look at that! Those are comfrey leaves, medicinal too, but they make a great patch to the basket, well done!" He said.

He froze and held his breath as she whispered where her heart truly was. He nodded softly, knowingly, and hummed his breath to a low soft note.
"Hmmm..." He said comfortingly, he leaned a little toward her, offering his shoulder if she wanted to press in.
"Of course you would miss them... and it's hard fitting in when you don't know very many people here." His voice was low and earthy. Comforting and solid.

"I... really miss them too." Hakan couldn't help the catch in his throat. There were a lot of people he missed and losing Byakko and Raka was exceptionally hard. It was also hard living here, without his mate and the only closest family member to him was the clan wrecking ball. "I hope you stay and learn to love this place... and don't ever let Kyra push you around." He said seriously, "She can be more of a pushover than she lets on."

"Come, lets get that passion flower." He said, picking up the basket and heading into the pines, north of the strange isle in the lake. In a particularly lush spot with a creek running down to the lake and thick foliage around them they found a creeping vine with strange otherworldly purple flowers.

Chuckling Hakan put his basket down and started to harvest the flowers "Don't worry, this is as far as we go today. I think Mercury would chew my ear off if Kyra didn't get to it first if we ran into any kind of trouble."

"I wonder, you're so resourceful, could you make a new basket? With reeds or willow saplings?" He asked, musing as he picked. The scent of the flowers was a strange not sweet not bitter smell. It was very calming but not overpowering.

"I hardly know you Schimmah, why don't you tell me about yourself and we can feel less lonely together?" He asked gently as well.

ooc

Photo © Erik Stine / coding © vixxie's codes / lyrics © Garden by Noah Gundersen

[Kimster]

"Hmmm..." the older wolf said, leaning a little towards her. Schimmah's body overrode her mind and instinctively pressed into his shoulder, burrowing her head inside her fur like a pup. She imagined his fur cloaking her from the world and for a moment she felt safe and loved. It filled that gaping hole in her heart with warmth and comfort. She listened to his deep voice rumbling through his bones into her ears: "Of course you would miss them... and it's hard fitting in when you don't know very many people here." He understood? He was so wise! She was sure there was nothing this wise wolf wouldn't understand.

"I... really miss them too." One green eye peeked out at him - he did? She couldn't remember all that much at the funeral, only that everyone was sad. But at the catch in his voice she knew that he'd been friends with Byakko and Raka. Maybe oneday she could ask him to tell her stories about Raka, before she'd lost her memory. "I hope you stay and learn to love this place... and don't ever let Kyra push you around." He said seriously, "She can be more of a pushover than she lets on." At this shocking revelation the blue girl pulled her head out of his fur and scowled disbelievingly at him - a pushover? HER? No way. There's just no way that Schimmah could believe that. But... he may be right. She shouldn't let Kyra push her around. Hmm. This little fact she filed away in a corner of her mind, to be thought about at a later stage.

"Come, lets get that passion flower." He picked up the basket which, to Schimmah's mind, shed a lot less of their booty. He led her away from the lake towards the pines, Schimmah getting more nervous by the minute, keeping her eyes peeled for bears and snakes and spiders oh my. Chuckling Hakan put his basket down and started to harvest the flowers "Don't worry, this is as far as we go today. I think Mercury would chew my ear off if Kyra didn't get to it first if we ran into any kind of trouble."

A small laugh escaped her lips at the image of Hakan without ears.

"I wonder, you're so resourceful, could you make a new basket? With reeds or willow saplings?" Schimmah nodded confidently, answering: "I think-a so yuppers. It's just a matter of-a finding the right plants and weaving them together to make a cohesive pattern." She beamed at Hakan's request and his praise. It was so good to feel wanted again! She helped pick the flowers, and slowly relaxed. The scent was kinda nice, it didn't make her sneeze like the other plants did.

"I hardly know you Schimmah, why don't you tell me about yourself and we can feel less lonely together?"

"Oh there's not-a much to tell. I was born in the mountains somewhere. Momma was gone when-a I was still too little I kinda remember-a feeling? But not much. So Daddums he took-a care of me. His name was Mackamacka and-a he was red all over. He wasn't a good hunter but-a knew roots we ate a lotta roots. And sometimes when we were lucky we caught a rabbit. Daddums was always talking, he had a loud happy voice. Sometimes he talks of our daddy and he was blue like me, but he got confused a lot so I don't think that's very true. There was only ever me and Daddums. Then...." as she relaxed more and more she talked freely and her idiosynchratic syntax dropped. But she paused at the next memory.

It was a particularly nasty one, one she fought hard not to dwell on too much.

"There...there was other wolves. Daddums was yelling stranger danger. It was so noisy - growls and nails scraping on ground and teeth biting. Daddums was trying to tell me to run, but I couldn't leave him. A wolf was pinning me down. Forcing me to watch what they did to Daddums. And then. And then Raka came. She was silent. One minute there's nothing, the next minute she was there. She tore through them like a hurricane, they didn't stand a chance. The one that held me she just knocked off his feet, her barely had time to whine. And then... then it was over. Daddums was bleeding. There was so much blood I didn't know which was his, didn't know how I could put it all back into him. He whispered something to her, I couldn't hear what. I was scared of her at first. Her eyes were so pale I thought she was blind. But she looked at me, and I knew I was safe. That's how she saved me. She taught me to hunt, to defend myself, to hide. And I helped her remember. She got kinda scary when her head was sore, but I figured out how to keep that from happening, and what to do when it does."

She spoke in that neutral, almost flat tone some victims of a horrific situation adopted. She then turned to Hakan, looking fully at him, her eyes a distinct shade of green that he would know. She watched him calmly, a glimpse into the wolfess she may become with age and experience: "I know it sounds like I didn't have a great puphood, but I feel really lucky. Daddums loved me, and Raka took care of me when she couldn't even take care of herself. I will always be grateful to her for that."

[Charley]

H a k a n,

"And though we lose our stake, Heaven is where we make it
Even in the smallest places, Can a garden grow"

actions - “speech” - thoughts

The old healer took note, nodding to himself as she tried to detail as much as possible in her almost infant lilt. She said daddy and that was different than "Duddums" and at first he was confused and had a hard time following. If he didn't know any better he could have sworn she could be referring to her Daddums/Mackamacka as his own grandson Mark. Red all over, loud happy voice. He wouldn't be surprised if Sal and Jase had another litter after the mayhem of their boys. Especially when she started describing this "daddy" character.

He took note that as she got comfortable her tone and speech became more comfortable and less riddled with hard to follow skips and addons. But when her tone changed completely he paused in his gathering and slowly turned to face her. Ah... here it was. The tradgedy her mind could not get passed. Hence her childlike demeanor and language. She was in a way perhaps stuck before this moment, especially in the way she was speaking, distant, flat, emotionless. But then it struck him that he was thinking only of her story when his own story was intertwined in her life. She just detailed a gruesome death, the death of this all over red male she called daddums and was named mackamacka, who he had been fairly certain was his grandson Mark... Mark... If he was correct... then she just detailed his grandsons terrible death to him.

Then it seemed she was pulled from her reverie and met his gaze with pure Nardirian eyes, a shade of the demeanor she will one day adopt when she is older cast itself over her for a moment, she almost looked like Salenia for brief second.

"I know it sounds like I didn't have a great puphood, but I feel really lucky. Daddums loved me, and Raka took care of me when she couldn't even take care of herself. I will always be grateful to her for that."

Hakan stared at her for one brief second, blinking the past and future ghosts from his eyes. He drew in a sharp breath and slowly let it out, looking at the flowers and their herbal haul to gather his thoughts that had scattered like petals from the passion flower.

"Gratitude goes a long way in these parts. I'm sorry you h..." His breath caught as the story washed over him again stabbing him in the heart. But she didn't know, she wouldn't know, and he knew that if he suggested their relation she may close her self off to him. She didn't know very much about her own history and to suggest clearer names and force her to remember would open up the tradgedy fresh for her. And from the way she told it, she was far from ready.

"It's a terrible thing to see, Shimmah. I'm so sorry." He spoke finally through a breath, closing his eyes to the tears that threatened to overwhelm him. Was Jase and Sal gone too? Were all those rambunctious boys already among the stars before himself? He thought he would have felt it. He thought he would somehow know when his family had left this plane of existence. Could that mean Firebright, Lyra and Reese where gone too and he had no idea? Malekai? Were they all that was left, Him, Kyra and Shimmah? And yet Shimmah would have no idea.

He'd have to hold it together for a moment more. But to be honest that was getting harder to do in his old age.

"I'm glad Raka was there too... Let's get these herbs drying" He said steadily, a little forcively, his tone growing quieter, he picked up the basket and carried it himself, thankful for her ingenuity.

ooc

Photo © Erik Stine / coding © vixxie's codes / lyrics © Garden by Noah Gundersen