[Sekirei]

Ticon found himself in the woods. It had been quite a rough patch with the Clan recently and it didn't seem like things were ever going to get resolved or even just settle. Something in Akutan just...snapped so, on top of a physical injury, he was drowning in his own head. It was obvious he believed he had disgraced himself past the point of any sort of redemption from multiple parties. His mate, his monarch, his packmates, even his own family. It was hard seeing him hit rock bottom so thoroughly with no real hope of clawing his way out again. 

He was...unwell. Feeling as if everyone he ever knew had turned on him, leaving him to rot in his own mind, as well as a general lack of coping skills laid him low. Ticon wagered he was seeing enemies everywhere where there were none to be found. The only thing keeping him from running away was, well, the Old Forest itself. He had dreamed of retaking his homeland from the specters that still haunted it. The specters that had stolen it from them and started him down this path. At this point, the Forest was probably the only thing keeping him from absolute insanity.

But was he right in blaming Loath for his issues? Ticon didn't know. Loath certainly had a paw in it because Akutan had been young when things were pulled out from under him. Ticon knew that life in the Wilds without a territory could take its toll on a young mind who had known nothing but packlife and territory. Akutan had lived and breathed the possibility of truly coming home to this place but it had come at a heavy cost, whether through his own folly or other factors. His current state of mind was proof. The monochrome wolf fully believed that Starfire had done her best to raise Akutan the best she could in an attempt to soften the loss of his birth home. No one wanted to believe that she had failed in that just because he was in a dark place right now.

Then there was Kyra whose outburst (understandably due to pregnancy hormones) didn't really help matters and just caused Akutan to fracture further. Ticon knew she had a right to get mad at him but at the same time, she didn't read the atmosphere around her mate or even understand him. That was Akutan's fault, though. He kept things on the lowdown and never really spoke up when he was feeling too much pressure. It was as if he was afraid to because of the off-chance someone would think he was being whiny or something. So he just stewed over things until just the right trigger set it off. The Clan patriarch didn't have anyone to tell him it was okay to admit when something was too much. He was just that afraid of being invalidated. A lot of pack members were under a lot of stress with redesigning, rebuilding, and reclaiming this place. Akutan wasn't the only one and deep down, he probably knew it.

Ticonderoga was an outsider. Always had been. Having been born in the Wilds to loners, he didn't quite understand pack structure but he was learning still. With all that was going on, Ticon felt useless. It didn't feel right to side with anyone. He wanted to help Akutan as a friend but felt he didn't have the right to. He was now convinced that Byakko had been one of the only things keeping the pack together and with him gone, things were falling apart. Stella had disappeared from his side, leaving him to wonder if it had just been a dream he had been chasing. He no longer knew where he stood with the pack as a whole because he was just "that guy with the X Clan". He was once proud of the association but now he was doubtful about his own place here. He had come to Nardir for X. The Call had spoken and sent him here for X. He chose to follow Akutan...for X.

"Where do I go from here? Do I distance myself from the Clan or do I stick with them? If I distance myself, would that help or hinder them? If I stick with them, what can I do to ease the burden?" he wondered aloud, coming to a pause before an old tree. Looking up at it, he felt his spirit fall further than it had been initially. Sighing, the wolf with the red X on his shoulder leaned his head to the tree, hoping to draw strength from its many seasons of life. 

He needed someone to talk to. Someone who wasn't as invested in current events and could offer a different perspective. Perhaps if he learned something of value from such a wolf, he could help get everyone back on their feet.

[Charley]

A r i k,

"All my life, my heart has sought a thing I cannot name..."

actions - “speech” - thoughts

He had never felt so... whole... A deep almost shuddering breath filled Ariks lungs of the rich forest. He had always felt the most at home among the dense and older woods, feeling their energies, finding the secret spaces, the hiding spots, the curious mushroom, and watching birds build their nests. But here even more so somehow. The trees themselves had stronger spirits here that he could sense, he could tell which ones had been here the longest, which new sapling had come from which elder tree. A collection of stinging nettle had a particular presence about it. He could feel the spirit guardian of each stream as he leaped over them. Never in a place had he felt so much energy like this. Or maybe it was because he had started to grow attune to it lately? Maybe something had changed in him for him to notice such things as these.

He had found littered throughout the landscape various stones with marks like runes on them. They painted a map of the area for him and he could easily find his way about based on how close he was to a certain runestone.

Arik had been walking carefully up on a fallen tree, leaning against another, a good height off the ground. He was trying to get a closer look at a bright red mushroom shelf, when he sensed someone enter the woods. He wouldn't be able to tell you how he sensed it, maybe he heard them, maybe he smelled them first, or maybe the trees told him. He watched for a while until he saw the stark black and white wolf wander to the base of one the elder trees. Arik liked to call that one Old Grandpa. What pulled him back to the earth was the words of the other.

"Where do I go from here? Do I distance myself from the Clan or do I stick with them? If I distance myself, would that help or hinder them? If I stick with them, what can I do to ease the burden?"

It wasn't uncommon to find yourself talking to the trees, they were always eager to listen to your troubles. Arik had a sense they loved to gossip and tell each other stories.

He recognised the male as Ticon! He knew him from when Arik had found the strange spiral formation in their old territory before the earthquake.

"I've asked myself that question before..." Arik stated from behind Ticon, still standing in the tree. He took a few steps back from his perch and when he got to a good spot he easily dropped down back to the earth.

"I had felt so lost before coming here." He continued and made his way toward Ticon, "Do you want some company or would you rather be alone with the trees?" Arik asked seriously, tilting his head as he came to sit next to Ticon.

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[Sekirei]

"I've asked myself that question before..." came a voice from behind. Ticon looked over his shoulder to see...Arik, was it? "Do you want some company or would you rather be alone with the trees?" he asked, coming towards him. The dire wolf sat down, facing him. "I could use some company. There's a number of wolves I'm not feeling safe around at the moment. I remember you, too. We found those spiral formations back in the old place." he said. He wasn't sure if he could unburden right off the bat with Arik, who was a virtual stranger, but at the same time, he seemed removed from the emotionally charged happenings from the past couple of days. He didn't have the blinders on, so to speak. Perhaps if he might have some insight into what Ticon could or should do. 

He obviously shouldn't be defined solely by his association to the Clan. Akutan's mental crisis made that abundantly clear. The marked wolf knew he had to make his own identity in addition to his chosen role. He mostly wanted to help Sara. She was having a more subtle crisis, something he had suggested she go to Buckshot about because she had three little ones to look after. He had gone off on his own before seeing if she did. He avoided Kyra to save his own skin. Pregnant she-wolves could either be glowing angels or raging she-devils. Kyra seemed predisposed to be the latter and he didn't want to see if the Black Wolf was a legitimate spirit just yet. What a difference she was from Sara, who had been breathtakingly radiant and even-tempered during her own pregnancy.

Ticon was used to solitude, welcomed it even. Still, it would be nice to share his worries with someone so he didn't end up in Akutan's shoes. At the moment, it was absolutely necessary. There wasn't anything he could do for him at this time but Ticon wanted to step up to keep things together. The Clan could not fall apart now, not after everything they had survived in their history. He just wanted to know if he should step up or back away to see if the Clan could survive this. 

First thing's first. Ticon needed to get himself straightened out. Once he managed that, then he could see what he could do for the others, if it was by doing nothing.

[Charley]

A r i k,

"All my life, my heart has sought a thing I cannot name..."

actions - “speech” - thoughts

"I could use some company. There's a number of wolves I'm not feeling safe around at the moment. I remember you, too. We found those spiral formations back in the old place."

Arik nodded at the remark of the spirals. He remembered it, and it was probably where his true spiritual obsession began, frequently he had found himself drawn to the spirals, asking it questions, trying to determine its place and usefulness. The earthquake had barely touched the place too if he remembered correctly. Maybe it was a sign to ward off settlers in the area and they had completely missed it and its meaning since the resulting earthquake had been so catastrophic to their health at the time.

"Yes, I remember. What's this about not feeling safe?" Arik asked, "... That wasn't you in the middle of that shouting?" Arik had been by the lake when that happened. All he had heard was... Kyra's... well her very loud angry voice. It was funny how voices could travel sometimes and she certainly had a... distinctive angry voice. He has had a run in or three with her before when they much younger. She hadn't gotten to the point of yelling at him but she definitely rubbed him the wrong way. She had made it pretty clear to him that she definitely didn't like him anymore.

If Ticon was the one she was yelling at... He quickly looked him over, it didn't look like he had any injuries, Arik shook his head surprised Ticon still had his whole face.

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[Sekirei]

"Yes, I remember. What's this about not feeling safe?... That wasn't you in the middle of that shouting?" Arik said. Ticon took a deep breath and slowly let it out. "No...but it might as have been. I got involved. I don't regret that because I didn't have a choice. Still, the entire experience has kind of rocked the foundations where the Clan is involved and where exactly I stand both with them and the pack as a whole. I think it revealed how unwell Akutan is. Sara's having an identity crisis. After she was finished dressing Akutan's injury, she didn't say another word. She just turned around, walked away, and didn't look back. From where I was standing, it was like she was walking away from it all and family means so much to her. She just looked...thoroughly defeated." he then ventured.

"I'm not in a position to help either of them, truth be told. I do my part to help Sara and Bucky with the pups but I kind of withdrew from that a bit because I don't know where I belong anymore. I check on Akutan from time to time but if he's not sleeping, he's just staring out into space. He even flinches if I get too close. It's like he's expecting someone to attack him unprovoked. He watches the pack going about their business and hides in the shadows of the den, afraid of drawing even the slightest bit of attention to himself." he said. 

Closing his icy blue eyes, the monochrome wolf gave a mirthful chuckle. "Kyra, I know better than to get anywhere near her. Much as I hate to say it and no matter how justified she was at the time, she pushed things over the edge. I'm not blaming her or anything but it could have...and should have...been avoided altogether. Part of this lies with Akutan as well for keeping things bottled up and he's paying for it already. We're all a bit messed up right now. He's got his mental crisis, Sara has her identity crisis, and I'm having a crisis of faith. I'm probably not as far gone as the cousins are but my overall faith in the Call of the Wild is a bit shaky right now. The Call led me to the pack and I thought that this was where I was meant to be. I'm no longer sure that I read the signs right." he said with a sigh.

[Charley]

A r i k,

"All my life, my heart has sought a thing I cannot name..."

actions - “speech” - thoughts

Arik craned his head and listened to the icy eyed dire in silence. He tried to piece together what Ticon was telling him. It was mostly all about the others around him, and barely anything about himself. Until he finally came down to his own inner struggle.

The gentle giant was silent for a moment. He scraped his paw into the dirt, thinking if he even had any place to offer advice here. From what he knew Ticon had no blood relation to the clan. But for some reason the guy seemed to be stuck serving them somehow. It seemed he had grown disgruntled or at least weary in trying to be a part of them.

He grimaced when Kyra came up. He had honestly been surprised when he figured out she had decided to stick with Akutan. She wasn't the type to really hang on to people. At least back in the day she wasn't interested in Arik himself in any permanent sense. She had only wanted to have her fun and move on, and when she figured out he wasn't the type to have of her fun with she rebuffed him and called him... Well... she wasn't very nice to him even though she had been the one trying to pursue him. She probably needed a hell of a lot of convincing to be official partners and lifelong mates with Akutan like the pack was culturally attuned to, it just wasn't her style. But she could have changed. She came across to him as someone who needed a hell of a lot of attention to keep in any kind of relationship and he just wasn't that type of person to let himself be consumed by someone like her.

But Akutan probably knew that and convinced her somehow... Though with how it sounded the other day and what Ticon was saying... maybe Akutan had no idea who he was really dealing with.

Regardless, those two were not before him asking him for company. He doubted Kyra would ever try and seek him out for this kind of thing.

No, it was one Ticonderoga sitting next to him with this tale of others heartache and woe and misery, certainly looking for guidance. Somehow he even knew about the Call? He had felt the Call? Interesting! Such a different feeling for it but it certainly mirrored his own Pull and Push that Arik felt from time to time.

"You care a lot about Akutan and Sara..." He finally said, "The clan seems to have been close to your heart, but now you're not so sure." He recapped to simplify, "There's a great upheaval of emotions and drama... but none of it is truly yours to handle." Arik said, catching Ticon's gaze to ensure he was getting this right. "You felt the call to come here, but now your lost..." Arik was very familiar with that sense.

"I've felt the call before. Back in the old territory it led me to find the pack. But it wasn't until we came here, home, that I felt like I've found the purpose of my call..." He said, allowing his gaze to wander down south towards the Oraculi Isle.

"It is certainly a powerful call and it's easy to misinterpret it." He said bringing his silver burst green eyes back to his pack mate, his tone of voice had taken on an airy hum to it, as if it was not entirely of this world. It was not low and warm like Hakans, or eager and firey like Kyra's. It was soothing and light, like a feather floating on a slow moving stream.

"Perhaps it led you to this pack but you haven't settled into your true role yet. You say the Call brought you here, but what was the sign that made you come?" He asked.

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[Sekirei]

Ticon listened as Arik spoke. He had it mostly correct. He was in too deep to really leave their service, not that he could ever say that now. Part of his own struggle was that he never made it a secret that he served the Clan in addition to the pack. Why that was allowed was because it didn't interfere with his role as a border guard. Alana...his heart thumped thinking of her after so long...she hadn't minded. Mercury was still a mystery to him. She didn't seem to have an issue with the Clan's semi-autonomy but what if that had changed since they made the move and everything went down the way it did. Would she force Ticon to relinquish his unofficial role and serve only as one of Akutan's guards? Would she force the Clan to abandon their Old Ways? He didn't think so but this was a time of doubt for all involved. Mercury probably wouldn't want to gamble on that. It would dishonor Byakko and the Clan was deeply entrenched in their ancestral beliefs and operation. Ticon had to wonder if the Clan had only been on borrowed time since the death of Akutan's grandmother, the last alpha of Lindras. What if they were doomed to fade since then?

"You say the Call brought you here, but what was the sign that made you come?" Arik then asked. Ticon chuckled a little bit. "I'm not sure if you ever knew him but do I remind you of someone from the past?" he asked. He looked up through the boughs overhead. "Aside from my breed and eye color, I'm the spitting image of Akutan's grandfather, X. Even down to this red X on my left shoulder. X was still alive when I was born but it's almost as if I was given his appearance for a reason. I was born to loners and spent my entire life until the previous summer wandering. Birds are terrible gossips. They told me they had seen a wolf who looked like me, only much larger and with gold eyes. They told me he was dead. That was when I felt something in my soul telling me to seek out his family, serve them if I could. You could say I, myself, was the sign. The birds merely brought it to my attention and from there, I made my own choice to seek them out. Nardir's reputation as a pack where all could find peace also helped." he explained. 

Looking down at his paws, Ticon sighed a second. "At first, I came here out of some misplaced need to apologize for looking like the old man. I know now I didn't have to. I could've gone anywhere and no one would've been the wiser of a doppelganger wandering around. I was compelled to come here to seek the Clan out because I felt I could find a place to belong. I love being in their service, even if it's only unofficially. They teach me how to live in a pack and I help them with anything they need. Nardir was peaceful, at least when Alana and Julek ruled. It's like things started falling apart when Mercury took over. I suppose that's just the cost of the change in leadership, the fact we moved homes, and had a couple deaths all in quick succession. I suppose it was only a matter of time before Akutan snapped." he said.



"I suppose I'm just trying to find my own place in this world so I can better help others find theirs. I'm starting to think that's why I was born. I think looking like X helped Akutan a bit since he was close to his grandfather. Byakko told me once that he stabilized a little bit since I came. That has to count for something."

[Charley]

A r i k,

"All my life, my heart has sought a thing I cannot name..."

actions - “speech” - thoughts

Arik had not known X, Arik and his littermates had been born around the same time as Sara, Vienna and Kyra. The Exiled. They had never known this place except in their parents memories. But it would make sense the clan that was named predominately the X clan would be named after such a prominent figure. Arik didn't know when X had died, but many others would know that X had died when Sara and her littermates where old enough to leave the den for the first time. Which would coincide with when Ariks litter and Kyra's were first taking their first steps in the outside world.

With the way Ticon was describing how he experienced The Call it didn't sound as similar to Arik's as he had initially thought. It looked like he had just heard a rumor and went to investigate. Not the bone throb need to follow a mysterious pull toward a horizon that didn't make any sense. Maybe it wasn't the same, but Arik already felt like maybe he was the weirdo that only felt like that and had gotten those urges.

Then Ticon said something about things falling apart since Mercury took the mantle of queen; Arik was surprised at the sudden catch in his own throat and a surge of a strange almost panicked rush of adrenaline run from his chest to his legs. He made no visible notion of this affect on his body at the topic other than perhaps staring a little blankly at the elder tree before them a little longer than usual. He was glad Ticon kept talking, Arik hoped he hadn't noticed. It was surprising also that Ticon would think that, because in Ariks world it had seemed as if everything had started to click into place for him and things had been finally going right. But perhaps Arik, the hermit, was a bit too detached from the general goings on and moods of the pack. He couldn't be the only one that felt comfortable speaking to the Queen about troublings dreams and talking on into the night. Surely she had other friends like that in the pack.

He would have to figure out what that strange feeling that came over him was about later. Now certainly wasn't the time, and Arik wasn't the type to divulge his own inner workings. For now it was about Ticon.

The monochrome wolf went on about saying what maybe his purpose was. Arik tilted his head at him.

"So you came because you looked like X, Akutans grandfather." Arik recapped, he wanted to make sure he was connecting all the dots right and assure Ticon that he was following along and listening closely, "Either through a sense of guilt or shame that you did..." Arik narrowed his eyes in thinking how the next part went. Ticon was happy to "serve" the x clan, but the clan was really just a bunch of family members to which he had no true blood relation.

"It sounds like you really like to serve, definitely be of some use, but your not sure if your place right now is best served with specifically Akutan and Sara, but you feel a duty to them? Wait..." No that wasn't quite right... "Your not sure if this serving thing is what you're made for? No, that's not it either..." Then a thought struck him that finally made it click.

"Do you need advice for yourself or Akutan?" Or Sara? It seemed while Ticon was here physically he was still completely lost in Akutans and Sara's emotional states. He couldn't give advice or lend an ear to people who weren't before him. Ticon was the one that was here. Arik was already forming an idea of who Ticon was and what role he served well, but Ticon was maybe too lost to notice.

He had to add on though,
"And forgive me but my curiosity is getting the better of me, why was Kyra so mad?"

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[Sekirei]

"Mainly advice for myself, to see if I can or should help him. Starting there would help me in making future decisions regarding what I can do and what I should do in any given situation. If I can help him best by doing nothing at all, that will give me a frame of reference in the future. I'm starting to feel a bit more confident that everything else will fall into place for me as I do. I can find other things to occupy my time away from them." Ticon replied to Arik's first question. Then he asked what Kyra was so mad about in the first place. 

Ticon gave a huge eye roll, mainly out of exasperation. "In hindsight, it was a stupid thing to get mad over. She was mad that he didn't think of or tell her when he found out Byakko was dying. Like...that was his father figure and if you know Akutan, you know he gets laser-focused on things of that nature. It's completely normal for him to let everything else fall to the wayside. He didn't tell me either. I just happened to notice that some of the pack were heading that way and I figured it out from there. She acted as if he did it on purpose. Being pregnant like she is didn't help matters but I have a feeling it probably wouldn't have mattered." he explained.

Scratching behind his ear and scowling a bit, the former loner hummed. "Could Akutan have thought about her, or anyone, when the time came for Byakko to leave? Yeah. That's completely fair to say. Was she wrong in having expected that of him when it was happening right at the moment? Absolutely and I'm not afraid to say it. If she knew him better and wasn't a raging ball of hormones, she would've known he wouldn't have done it any differently. If anyone of us could predict the deaths of loved ones down to the hour, Akutan would've been more "on the ball" about it." he said.

"Here's a rhetorical question. All any of us had was a rough idea that Byakko wasn't going to be around much longer and he left the den site without waking anyone. Not even his own daughters. So the question becomes...who's really at fault here? Akutan for doing what he does or Byakko for not saying a word to anyone just so he could have some final alone time with Raka and to make peace with that death god of theirs, which led to Akutan doing what he does?" he put forward.

Ticon then looked at his paws. "To be completely fair to her, Kyra also asked rather loudly if he was even going to be there when their pups are born. Is he going to be a present father? I would think so. I don't see why he wouldn't be. I've heard enough stories of him as a youngster and helping his aunt and uncle take care of his cousins. He seems to bond with the younger generation better than he does with wolves his own age. Whether that's good or bad, I don't think anyone can really say. He's not over the top in any way and his bond with Rapture is understandable since she'll take over for him one day. I don't think anyone's in the wrong here since the entire thing is more complex than that." he mused, more to himself than to Arik. He knew he was rambling a bit. That seemed to be a quirk he picked up from the Clan without realizing it. They tended to ramble a lot.

[Charley]

A r i k,

"All my life, my heart has sought a thing I cannot name..."

actions - “speech” - thoughts

Arik listened intently as Ticon clarified exactly what he was looking for. Arik didn't know if he could really help that much in giving Ticon guidance there, it seemed the cousins weren't exactly in a place where they wanted Ticon's help, what with Akutan flinching away from him.

Then Ticon regaled the hermit with what had gone down between Kyra and Akutan. He furrowed his brow at the other male's side of the story and wondered if that truly was the be all end all of it. While, yes, the fiery female was quick to anger, Ariks own history with her and the frustrations she had with him never got her to the point of screaming profanities over one issue. She wasn't really a match that lit at the drop of a branch or scraped against one stone of flint, she was more a bubbling and boiling volcano. Arik wondered if there was more to her side of the story than Ticon really knew.

Ohhhh! Ticon revealed to Arik that the red woman was pregnant and suddenly the world lit up like the clouds had parted. It was all starting to make sense to him. Also a sudden strange drop in his stomach made him wonder if he was feeling something significant about this news other than it was just good news for a growing pack like theirs.

Then another thought struck him as Ticon rambled.

Finally the path to Ticons answer was clear to Arik.

He was not going to like it, and Arik was loath to even suggest it.

"Ticon... Serve Kyra." Arik said finding the other males gaze and made his tone heavy with insistence and sincerity.
"If Akutan or Sara have no immediate use for you and you find yourself lost but still wanting to serve them... Attend to the one carrying Akutan's pups. Be the bridge between them, and get to know her. You will still be serving the clan technically, and perhaps helping Akutan heal by making sure his mate is well taken care of." If Akutan or Kyra wanted to come to Arik and seek this type of guidance, they were welcome, but again, Ticon was the one asking for his own. And Ticons roll within the pack was becoming clear to Arik as well.

"I believe you are an Attendant, an important member of the inner pack support system. A personal guard, a pup sitter, a hunter for those that cannot or will not hunt. A caretaker that is has more freedom and flexibility than a healer. You pay enough personal attention to Sara and Akutan to know their inner lives and how they work. Do the same for Kyra. I know it'll be a challenge. I know her, somewhat, and I have been on the blazing end of her fire. Ask her father to help you with this task, she may need some of her own convincing, but if you say she's pregnant, and that makes a lot of sense now, she's going to need some help." Arik looked up and watched as the wind picked up and tree canopies swayed some.

"Perhaps through this task you will find out if you are made to be a caretaker or not and you can try something else."

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[Sekirei]

Ticon listened intently to Arik's suggestion. He wasn't entirely thrilled with the idea (because Kyra probably wanted his head off his shoulders) but he had already sworn a private oath to do whatever it took to serve the Clan as a knight. This was the best way he could. Sara and Akutan had to figure themselves out and that was something they alone could do. He would give his input if asked but for the time being, Sara needed Buckshot more than she needed him and Akutan, for all intents and purposes, had a one-wolf war to win. Kyra was Clan now. Perhaps his service would help her prepare for motherhood during this time when her mate wasn't in any physical or mental state to do so. Perhaps he could provide his insight into how the cousins (Akutan more so) operated and then, when they were more pliable, get them to further distance themselves from each other. Their puphood symbiosis had served them well and while it was mostly gone now, a remnant still remained and that could be the root of the problem. Sara had depended on her cousin for much so it was time for her to step up.

Hakan would be an invaluable ally. On his own, Ticon didn't have much of a chance of convincing her to let him help. Given her go-getter personality and desire to do things on her own, she was a hotheaded stubborn thing. But with her dad involved, she'd very likely be more open to what Ticon would propose. "You know...you might be onto something. I consider myself the X Clan's knight in private. All the stories I was told as a pup said that knights did tasks similar to what you're proposing. Being a pack caretaker fits that particular bill pretty well." he said. Standing up and pacing, Ticon started formulating a plan of action. His icy blue eyes were ablaze with purpose as he thought of the best way to broach the topic with Kyra. He needed her in a calm state, or as calm as she could be in light of recent events. That's where Hakan came in. He could navigate her the best of anyone.

"Okay! The path is clear. I know what I'm going to do next. If all goes well, things should normalize a bit." he said, his tail wagging. Grinning at Arik, Ticon felt a breeze through his mohawk. "Thanks for helping me out, Arik. We should hang out again sometime when things settle down a bit." he said. With a nod of farewell after anything Arik had to say, Ticon trotted off and his pawsteps were full of purpose.

[Charley]

A r i k,

"All my life, my heart has sought a thing I cannot name..."

actions - “speech” - thoughts

Arik couldn't help his own grin as he watched Ticon pace and really take his advice to heart.

"I'm glad to be of service." Arik said bowing his head, "I'd like that." he responded to Ticon suggesting that they'd come together again. He wagged his tail as Ticon left the forest, no longer wandering but with a driving purpose.

Arik lifted his gaze to the sky and could just see through the leaves the glimmer of Her presence in the daytime sky. The Mother watching them through the trees. He breathed in the earthen forest smell and breathed out a grateful breath.

He went back to mushroom hunting.

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Photo © Spencer Arquimedes / coding © vixxie's codes

[Sekirei]

Ticon's paws were full of purpose, now that he had a plan. Or the start of a plan. There were a lot of variables he had to account for but he didn't have Akutan's knack for thinking too much. First thing's first, he needed to get in touch with Hakan. Arik had some good insight into what he could do. Hakan's insight would be even better. Of them both, Arik had the least amount of contact with the involved parties so his impartial views helped set the plan in motion. Hakan was more involved with both parties, thus providing a buffer of wisdom to help him navigate the next couple of steps. If Kyra agreed to take Ticon on as an assistant, he could take it from there on his own. Reaching the Castle, Ticon headed for Hakan's den, hoping he was in.

"Hey, Hakan, I need your help with something." 

[Charley]

H a k a n,

"And though we lose our stake, Heaven is where we make it
Even in the smallest places, Can a garden grow"

actions - “speech” - thoughts

Hakan was mumbling something about Kyra, chamomile, valerian and passion flower and shook his head while he was hanging up some herbs to dry in a large section of his den. Making another remark about how the calendula was almost dry and ready to store.

He caught the light grow dim in his den as someone came to darken his door. He looked up and was mildly surprised to see Ticon appear. With how he was standing and how he asked for his help Hakan wondered if this was more a counseling call or worse... another incident involving a certain fiery headed daughter.

"Of course Ticon," He replied giving his fur a shake to rid some herbal dust off and stepping away from his drying rack, "What can I help you with?" He asked cordially, hoping Akutan was alright. He really needed to go check on the boy after yesterday.  

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Photo © Erik Stine / coding © vixxie's codes / lyrics © Garden by Noah Gundersen

[Sekirei]

"What can I help you with?" Hakan asked. Ticon sat down. "I was talking with Arik about what's been going on recently, wondering if there was something I could to do to ease the burden a bit. I came to the conclusion that I can't really help Akutan or Sara the way they need so he suggested I become Kyra's assistant. That's where you come in. Do you think you can come with or even call Kyra here so I can see if she'll take me on? The idea is that if I help her out while Akutan's recovering mentally and physically, I can help the overall recovery of the Clan." he explained. Looking down a bit with a small, thoughtful smile on his maw. 

"After what happened, I felt like I lost my way for a bit but Arik could be right that I was led here to be, well, a caretaker. I can see that being the case since I tend to watch the pups when Sara, Buckshot, and Akutan are busy. Kyra is Clan now so I want to offer my services in any way she needs. I know she'd prefer Akutan but well..." he trailed off, looking over his shoulder to where the wolf in question was laid up. Akutan was lying on his side in the den and even from his distance, Ticon could see pure dejection on his face and giving something the thousand yard stare. His breathing was slow and the rabbit Ticon had brought earlier had only been nibbled on, showing he had next to no appetite. He just wasn't there mentally. Kyra was probably still mad at him and even if she wasn't, he wasn't physically able to help anyway because of his wound.

"Point is, helping Kyra would give me the opportunity to settle some things concerning Akutan with her if the subject ever comes up. From where I've been standing, the two of them don't know each other that well...and they're about to become parents. I want to help balance things out if possible. I believe that to be my calling. If I can help them, I can help other pack members and really feel like I belong here as well." Ticon then said, looking back at Hakan. Thanks to his chat with Arik, he had come to realize he had been unknowingly floundering in the greater pack, not really fitting in anywhere. Sure, he was a border guard under Akutan and he would probably continue in that line of work but there had to be more he could do. Working with Kyra was both a genuine desire to keep the Clan going with Byakko gone and an experiment. If he was successful here, he could handle anyone else.

[Charley]

I hope you know what you're getting into...

Kyra, Hakan

Hakan gave Ticon a wary eye as he related his conversation with Arik, interesting how that boy kept coming up. It was quite the suggestion and Hakan didn't know how Kyra would take that. He raised a brow when Ticon suggested Kyra was clan now and he wondered how Kyra would take that, depending on her mood she might just turn that around and declare her own clan just to be obstinate.

Hakan was silent mulling things over very carefully. It was good Ticon had come to him first rather than head to Kyra immediately. It was obvious that Hakans jaw was clenching and unclenching at the idea. She was in a delicate state herself but she wasn't prone to moroseness, no, she had an explosive state.

"It's quite a task your undertaking." He stated after a moment. Turning to grab a bundle of herbs from his drying rack and placing them in a collection of the same herb restocking it, keeping his paws busy while his mind worked.

When it was stocked he turned back to Ticon, all seriousness.
"First thing to know about my daughter then, is don't ever presume you can control or handle her. Tell her off if she's mean to you, by all means, but she's as independent as they come and a suggestion to change her ways turns her against you faster than a strike of lightning in high summer." Hakan shook his head remembering trying to parent this kid and teaching her things, "Don't ever try to reprimand her or embarass her in front of someone, it'll come back to bite you later. She's going to test you to find your boundaries, and see if she can push you past them. Akutan never came to me for this advice, so I'm giving it to you. Ignoring her is the same as abandoning her and telling her she doesn't need you. Its what seems to have started this mess in the first place." Hakan turned back for another herbal bundle and roughly restocked another collection before continuing.

"You're right in saying that if you can help them, maybe you can help others, but I hope you know your climbing the tallest mountain of the range before tackling the smaller hills. If you can do this I'm sure you can do anything you put your mind to." He turned back to Ticon, "But don't take it too hard if you can't. Don't let her make you bitter or despondent. I love her with every fiber of my being and it helps me get around her, you only have Akutan to think of and she may play anything she can against you to make you fail if she gets it in her head that it could be fun. She's still learning how to function in a pack and how burning down her bridges can have lasting effects." His own tone was surprising him, he didn't get much of a chance to talk about Kyra to anyone and how challenging she could be. He didn't know if her relationship with Akutan could be saved, he was honestly surprised they had announced they were official when they did.

"At the very least, she does need help. And if I haven't chased you off the idea yet, this pregnancy is going to be very rough on her. She hasn't been eating well, she doesn't tell me much but I can tell she barely eats." Hakan glanced away, looking into his stores and giving a sigh, "She can be nice. She just needs a reason to be and its harder for her to be a nice person when she's been so miserable lately."

Hakan turned back to Ticon again, "Are you sure you're up for this? I can help where I can."

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Photo © Wes Hicks / modified coding © vixxie's codes

[Sekirei]

Ticon listened to Hakan intently. He had a rough idea what he was getting into. He was an observer but he had to admit that there had been a lot of upheaval for the pack the past few months and things were rocky on all fronts. What he observed in that time might not hold up as true when things were settled. Akutan, for instance, showed he really struggled with situations like what the pack was doing at the moment. It was likely a holdover from before when Asylum forced Nardir out. He was at his best when things weren't so hectic. He was smart but clearly unstable when things were crazy to this degree. Ticon figured the only reason Akutan had never come to Hakan for advice about Kyra was because it never crossed his mind and the pack had been stable. But with the move came instability, exacerbated by the death of his aunt and uncle as well as taking on the mission to explore the Old Forest. In hindsight, it had been too much for him to handle and there had been a lot of self-loathing in his outburst. Ticon was forced to consider the idea that Akutan probably had underlying mental health issues that had gone unnoticed until certain conditions were met. And they had been met in spectacular fashion only recently, leading to his current predicament. Sara, to his own observation, turned her back on him and probably never considered the possibility herself.

"Are you sure you're up for this? I can help where I can." Hakan asked at the end of his schpeel. "I have to be. Anything she wants me to help with, I will, even if means doing absolutely nothing and just minding my own business. I'll just move on and keep doing what I've been doing where my usual duties are concerned. I just want to be of some use." Ticon said. He then sighed, figuring that with Hakan being a healer, bringing up his suspicions with him would probably help him navigate the murky waters of the future. "I'm not going to lie but I think Akutan's mentally unwell. I believe the only reason it's an issue now is because there's been too much happening at once, overtaxing his coping ability if he ever had one. I don't know if anyone else caught it in his outburst but it was plain as day to me that he really hates himself and probably has for a while. I'm no healer. I don't claim to know how the mind of someone should work. I'm merely stating my own observations. That's something he should explore when he's better." he said, before looking back at him.

"That's why I want to help Kyra. I may be biting off more than I can chew by starting with her but even if I fail, I can be an example to anyone watching that it's not the end of the world. That anyone can pick themselves up from a defeat and keep moving forward. Akutan's an observant wolf when he's allowed to just sit quietly somewhere. I trust he'll be watching things while he's off fighting his war. I can worry about my own identity later." he said.

Getting to his paws, his tail started wagging enthusiastically. "Kyra can take her best shot if she wants. It's a learning experience regardless. Even if she knocks me down, I'm going to get back up again. I'm still very much a stranger in the pack and the only thing she'd have over me is my allegiance and my one-sided crush on Alana. The Clan's not my whole identity and I long accepted my crush as impossible. All the same, I'll keep an eye on myself whatever happens going forward. No time like the present. Wanna call her for me? She's more likely to come for your call than mine." he said.

[Charley]

I hope you know what you're getting into...

Kyra, Hakan

Hakan nodded his head as Ticon ensured he was set for the task. The healer perked his ears at Ticon's suggestion that Akutan was mentally unwell.
"Ticon, I've known that boy his whole life. He's had a hard go of it since before he took his first breath. I didn't let him go then, and I'm not letting him go now. I care for him as much as my own, I promise you, I know. I haven't been able to give him the attention he needs, which is a common theme unfortunately, both for me and for him, but he's not going to be very receptive if I march myself over there and ask him the details. I'll end up just talking to him and he's barely going to hear me. After some time, if he doesn't come to me first I will go to him, by then he'll probably be more receptive. Honestly, they both need each other. To sit themselves in silence next to each other. But..." Hakan sighed, shook his head then lowered his voice, "I just don't think Kyra is good for him. He needs someone gentler. She's not the type to sit quietly and rough the hard spots easily. She needs..." Hakan made a tight face, unsure if whether or not to admit this, but he already spilled the beans on his other opinion- "She needs someone brighter. Not smarter, no, but less prone to morosity. They're just... anyway." He said shaking his head, already he had said too much.

He stepped out of his den and called her name.


Kyra paused ripping a tuft of grass out trying to chase a mole and pricked her ears to hear her father calling her. It wasn't often he would call her like that. She grimaced wondering if he was going to make her talk to Akutan again when she wasn't ready.

"Hey Dad, everythi-" She said and paused as she ducked her head into his den and found Ticon sitting pretty, as if waiting for her. She stood frozen in the doorway looking the male over. Black and white, icy blue eyes, weird x mark on his shoulder she never understood. Akutans lacky. She tilted her head at him, then glanced at her father, "What's this?" Giving him a fake tense smile, knowing that this was some kind of intervention.

"An assistant." Hakan said dryly giving her a slow blink.

Without dropping her tense smile she made a step forward and said through her teeth, watching Ticon with a side eye, "You have assistants... I don't."

"Can you hear him out at least?" He asked carefully.

She dropped her nose and looked at Ticon askance. "If this is Akutans idea you can tell him where to stuff it." She said with a snarl on her lip.
Hakan gave her a stern look and shook his head at Ticon in case he was going to interject.

"He can tell you about it, hear him out and then make your decision. I'd honestly like you to try this out at the very least." He honestly didn't know if this was going well but he had an idea of where it was going. She was going to run.

"No." It was Kyra's turn to be dry, she flicked her tail and left the den, without hearing a word from Ticon yet. She was walking briskly toward the lake.

"There's your first test boy. Try to keep up. Catch her and maybe you two could be friends." Hakan shrugged, and turned to his herbs, if he was going to help Akutan he needed some lemon balm and skullcap. If Ticon was going to help Kyra he had to catch her first.

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Photo © Wes Hicks / modified coding © vixxie's codes

[Sekirei]

Ticon just nodded in agreement with Hakan's thoughts on Akutan. He was still pretty sure that there was an underlying problem no one had caught. The young dire had learned a lot of history from Byakko and Akutan was pretty stable when things were smooth. But every time something went wrong...he fell like a house of cards. Every time. That didn't seem normal by any stretch. Still, Ticon had a feeling it would a subject his friend would bring up himself whenever he was done fighting his internal war. The pack, in general, was content to let him sit quietly where he was currently at so his physical wound could heal. The bear attack was probably the best thing that happened, even though the kerfluffle had happened afterward. His physical injury meant he was on the shelf, unable to do his responsibilities, thus allowing his mental state to heal and restabilize. 

He watched Hakan call for Kyra and kept his mouth shut as the two interacted. It had gone as he had predicted. He wasn't shaken. When Kyra set her pace, Ticon followed. He kept up but didn't attempt to enter her bubble, playing it safe and polite. "If you want to know who gave me this idea, that would be Arik. My aim in this is to do whatever you ask within reason, including sodding off and minding my own business. I'll just carry on and find someone else in the pack to assist. Or I can listen and give my own insight on anything you want to talk about. I'm pretty much at your disposal." he said. 

"But just so you know, I'm not doing this for Akutan. I can't help him. At all. No one can, to be honest. And it's not my place to help Sara beyond keeping an eye on the kiddos. So, I'm branching myself out and making myself useful while they sort themselves out. Arik suggested you and Hakan thinks I'm biting off more than I can chew here but still, my actions moving forward should hopefully benefit someone." he said. 

His tone was conversational but he expected Kyra to snap at him something along the lines of talking just to hear himself talk. He would just shrug it off and wait to see what she'd have him do first. He didn't want to make it about Akutan unless Kyra started ranting/asking what his deal was. Even she had to admit, she hadn't the foggiest idea who Akutan actually was, outside a handsome specimen of a male who just happened to catch her eye and didn't fully understand just what she was getting herself into. On Akutan's part, he had latched onto the first female who ever showed interest in him and, again, had no idea what he was getting into. What was going on at the moment where the consequences catching up with both of them. Akutan had been beaten down by a lot of things in recent times and Kyra going on her tirade, dragging the dead into it no less (and probably pissing off Byakko wherever he was), tipped him over the edge. He tended to shoulder all the blame in situations like this, not because others were laying it on him, but because he laid it all on himself. The lightning mark wolf didn't share things easily, including blame. No wonder he was so messed up.

[Charley]

K y r a,

Oh don't you dare look back, Just keep your eyes on me
I said you're holding back, She said shut up and dance with me

actions - “speech” - thoughts

The red woman looked over her shoulder at her new tail and smirked as he blathered on. She flicked her ear as he said this was Ariks idea but otherwise gave no indication that she was listening. She led him to the lakes edge and then started to skirt around it southward, following the trail they took on the patrol.

Seriously? Arik? she thought as she led Ticon away from the castle, glancing back to make sure he was following. She paused at a stream feeding the lake and drank from the cool rushing water. If Ticon took a drink she would wait for him before she nodded for him to continue to follow her.

What was that layabout half eunuch doing meddling in affairs that weren't his? What did he know? She took Ticon to the south side of the lake into a small copse of woods. Away from the castle, away from Akutan, away from her father and Arik and anyone else that might be listening.

She stopped and sat down in a mossy spot, the trees thick and rising above them. She sat looking across the lake, a view that encompassed a beautiful view of the Castle like cliffs.

She waited for Ticon to join her, or sit nearby. Her facial expression was tense, her brow furrowed and her jaw clenched. If he had deigned to stopped speaking she would let a silence settle for a moment.

"Who are you, Ticon?" She asked suddenly, turning to him with a serious hard expression. Her mismatched eyes boring into him looking for answers. While she knew him peripherally, mostly as Akutans lackey or servant, or something, she never knew his story, and before had never bothered to ask because she didn't have a reason to. If they were going to be hanging around each other more she wanted to know more. And wanted to know if he was just the same as Akutan and only talked about himself... or the clan.  

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Photo © Cedric Verstraete / coding © vixxie's codes / lyrics © Shut Up and Dance by Walk The Moon