[Sekirei]

Byakko had come to see the mounds while his family was either away or busy with other things. He walked the familiar path and reached the willow tree. He paused and felt a smile split his face. It was just as Akutan had said. The two oldest mounds were covered in grass and blue star creepers. It really made it appear as if the land itself honored the dead interred there. He saw the three new mounds, evidenced by their bareness. "Oh, Akutan..." he thought. His heavy paws carried him to Silverstream's mound. "Hello, my love. I'm so sorry it took so long for me to come back." he said, lying down and resting his head on the mound. Tears pricked his eyes and he took a shuddering breath. "Look how old I have become. You should've grown old with me. It was all I desired of you. But alas, a blizzard took you from me. Fate can be so cruel." he said. He rubbed his face in the grass.

The tears ran down his face and through the valleys of his large facial scar. "Not a day has gone by that you haven't been in my thoughts. Even as I found new love in Raka and had four beautiful daughters with her, I never stopped missing or loving you, Silverstream. I sometimes wonder, if fate had been kinder, what sort of life would we have had together? I don't regret anything since your death in that department. My regrets lie elsewhere. Soon, we'll be together again. I know you passed the Black Wolf unharmed and you're waiting for me on the other side. I've had a good life, tumultuous at times, but good. I hope you'll be there to greet me. I know Father, Mother, and Starfire will be. Storm, even. I miss you all. I just wish I knew what happened to your son...Jase. After we were driven out of the Forest, he and Sal went off on their own and I never saw them again." he continued.

Silence fell and a gentle breeze blew through the willow branches. Byakko closed his eyes, his tail coming to wrap around. He thought he could hear someone speaking in the wind but it was so faint, he couldn't make anything out. He took a deep breath and let his memories run wild, remembering long-ago days when he had been younger and had wooed Silverstream. He had been four when they met. She had only been two and had died within a year. Their courtship and life together had been short but still, it had been a good year. Byakko knew his family tended to love hard and he was no exception. Even as Raka grew to be the love of his life, Silverstream was still beloved by him fiercely. He had nothing to be ashamed of there. Raka's memory was gone but she spoke of the one she had been with before him. Both of them had loved and lost and found each other. Soon, they would leave this world together to be with those who went before and their spirits would travel the winds forevermore.

[Charley]

H a k a n,

"And though we lose our stake, Heaven is where we make it
Even in the smallest places, Can a garden grow"

actions - “speech” - thoughts

It was... hard...
Everywhere the old healer turned an old memory would whisper at the edges of his vision. The mixed emotions would catch in his throat and catch him off guard if he walked through a certain set of trees. He had been a younger man when he had last been here. A shade next to a brilliant flaming star. For so long he had refused to think of her but here his breath would stop around every old corner he turned. As if he would turn just one more corner and there she would be.

He hadn't dared to go looking for their own willow. The place he had labored over for weeks making it perfect for her. The place where their own clan was supposed to be centered. Under the whispering trailing branches. He didn't really know why. Maybe she would be there, maybe, as he feared, she wouldn't be. Maybe the old willow was gone, swept away in the ages of memory by a flash flood, overgrown and crumbled. He didn't know. He didn't want to know. Not yet.

He could have sworn he had just passed the log they had all hid behind, watching the elk, picking out their catch. They had rubbed themselves with mud to cover their scents and Starfleet's and Thundershocks's brilliant blue coats. That was the day he had begun to fall for her, Firebright...

Ah yes, here was the top of the waterfall... Where they had been swarmed with coyotes. His sister, who he had come all this way to find again fell over the top and became deaf. She had never regained her hearing after that, nor her sanity. And when the smoke from the volcano came she disappeared from his side. Months later, she would drop poor River at Firebright's feet and never be heard from again. Where was his niece now? Had she found Rio? Are they happy?

He took a drink and decided the next stop on this tour down memory lane would be clans dens. No doubt Kyra would be there, and he wanted to check in on Byakko. The healer stopped for a moment near the familiar central boulder, something they always found, he couldn't help but smile at how consistent they were. So consistent that he knew if Byakko hadn't dragged his great creaking bones on top that rock he was probably by the mounds.

Hakan softly approached the burial grounds, not wanting to interrupt the tail end of Byakko's words. He was talking about Jase and Sal. Hakan would have had a mighty clan. Not that he had felt it would have been entirely separated. He hoped they were happy and safe wherever they were. Maybe one day they'll all hear of how they were home and come find them. While Byakko finished the wind picked up as if on cue. He knew Byakko would be communing or listening or reaching within his mind for memories and Hakan knew to wait for the wind to die down before approaching and interrupting, especially in such a sacred space. When he felt the time was right Hakan stepped forward quietly and intimately buried his brown nose into the shoulder of the black and white dire, his dearest friend.

Around them the mounds stood, both ceremonial and inhabited. Several smaller ones were Akutan's litter mates, the ones Hakan could not bring back to life like he had the silver socked boy. He could see the bare mounds for X and Starfire newly erected when he lifted his nose to look. He knew Byakko would be buried here, and Raka as well if she so wished. Hakan was united with Byakko now through marriage of Akutan and Kyra. A union of two clans. It was inevitable really. Hakan imagined the future. His grandchildren and great grandchildren would come here and know their history. Perhaps they would sit here and try to commune with their ancestors. He thought if he wanted to be buried here as well. He didn't know, he wasn't ready for that yet.

"It's good to be back again..." He said finally, his voice low, "Its hard for me though." He felt so alone...

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Photo © Erik Stine / coding © vixxie's codes / lyrics © Garden by Noah Gundersen

[Sekirei]

Byakko kept his eyes closed as he felt his oldest friend bury his nose in his shoulder. "It's good to be back again...Its hard for me though." the old healer said. "I know. Silverstream's mound is smaller than I remember but then again, she was a dire. I tower over just about everyone." Byakko said. He opened his eyes but kept his head resting against the mound. "Firebright's out there somewhere, Hakan. Living or dead, it doesn't matter. Her spirit will find its way here again." he said. He thought he saw a large black shadow out of the corner of his eye but when he looked, there was nothing there. The frequency of this phenomenon was starting to pick up, making him wonder if he was getting fleeting glimpses of spirits. Though, the large black shape had to belong to one entity. 

"I wonder...Hakan, have you noticed things out of the corner of your eye but when you look, there's nothing there?" he asked. He was curious about if his fellow veteran saw things, too. Regardless, it was likely a sign that his physical attachment to the world was starting to break away. It made sense, considering he knew deep down that his time was just about up. Perhaps transition into the spirit world was allowing him to catch glimpses of other spirits. Part of him was naturally afraid of dying but the other part was slowly coming to terms with that. His desire to see his departed family members again and knowing it was just within reach was starting to overshadow his fear. The large black shape wasn't the only thing he thought he saw out of the corner of his eye either. Several other times, especially in Inaria, he thought he saw his sister and other times, he saw his mother. Still other times, he thought he saw X. Nowadays, he kept having this strange feeling like he was being watched.

He was really curious if Hakan felt the same.

[Charley]

H a k a n,

"And though we lose our stake, Heaven is where we make it
Even in the smallest places, Can a garden grow"

actions - “speech” - thoughts

Hakan sighed as his friend brought up Firebright. If he wasn't needed here, if he was younger, if he was brash, he would launch himself to find her. But the smartest thing was to be somewhere she knew she could find him. Instead of wandering the neutrals looking for each other. He had tried before he rejoined the pack in the crater. He had tried to find her. Perhaps she wasn't out there anymore...

He remained silent in reply. Until he noticed Byakko shifting slightly to look at something and his friend asking him about specters out of the corner of his eye.
One green eye and one blue eye looked fondly and deeply at his friend. He was silent, still, for a moment, weighing his answer.

"Occasionally, my friend, but mine are memories still. Its very common for some elders close to their time to see... beyond, the closer they get the more frequently it happens." He hoped that would be more of a comfort to Byakko, that Hakan understood and didn't think he was losing his sanity.

Hakan felt like he had much more time than Byakko. He was of smaller stature than the giant dire, and the larger the dire the shorter the life, typically. "You'll probably see your family just before you go. It'll be alright though. Its the way of things. We need to make room for the next generation. Can't keep all the resources to our selves." He said trying to lighten the mood with a half hearted chuckle, looking away. Stars, this old healer is going to miss this dramatic old fart.

"You are a very dear friend Byakko. We've been through a lot." He said turning to him again. Hakan was overly sentimental, easily showed his emotions. He was grieving already, preparing himself for the inevitable. He felt so alone, and the loneliness would only get deeper when his friend passes away.

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Photo © Erik Stine / coding © vixxie's codes / lyrics © Garden by Noah Gundersen

[Sekirei]

"Occasionally, my friend, but mine are memories still. It's very common for some elders close to their time to see... beyond, the closer they get the more frequently it happens. You'll probably see your family just before you go. It'll be alright though. It's the way of things. We need to make room for the next generation. Can't keep all the resources to our selves.[b]"[/b] Hakan replied. At least Byakko knew he wasn't crazy and it seemed his own theory was correct, too. It wasn't just family he thought he was seeing. Still, there was no need to tell his old friend that he saw him, too. Not everyone knew or believed the Black Wolf existed but it wasn't that his existence depended on it, either. He shifted his head back to its original position and breathed in the scent of the small flowers that covered it.

 "You are a very dear friend Byakko. We've been through a lot." Hakan then said. "We have indeed. We did good. We each found the one who completed us and we brought families into the world. I've been prepared to step aside for a while now. I think...I've been waiting for my time since Sister died. Of all the wolves I've lost through the years...I miss her the most. She never should've gone the way she did. I had spent years of my youth thinking she had died when our homeland fell but then I cross the Straits on a rumor that a she-wolf matching her description had been seen living here in this very forest. Not a day goes by where I haven't been grateful for getting her back. Then she was gone again." Byakko contemplated.

The breeze brushed his scarred face, warm and comforting. "I'm not going to lie. Even though I'm prepared to move onto my own judgment in the Deadlands, I'm afraid of dying all the same. I'm also afraid for the family I'm leaving behind. Coming home was a miracle for Akutan but I still wonder if he's ready to stand on his own without me, ready to lead the family after I'm gone. He's already patriarch but he's had my guidance all this time. *sigh* He's as much my son as he is my nephew. I just hope he's strong enough." the old monochrome wolf said.

[Charley]

H a k a n,

"And though we lose our stake, Heaven is where we make it
Even in the smallest places, Can a garden grow"

actions - “speech” - thoughts

It was was funny that it was now he heard how Byakko had come to Nardir in the first place. It was Hakan's own story, following a lost sister. Hakan had come to find Oasis, his adopted sister, they had been raised together. On the day he found her she went over the falls and became deaf, slowly losing her sanity. He had found her and lost her just as quickly. Byakko at least had a time to enjoy his relationship after he found Starfire. Hakan had immediately turned nursemaid until she pointedly ran away, not wanting to burden him. Still, at least Oasis had dropped off her daughter and he was able to raise his niece. Funy how thier stories were so similar. Byakko raised his nephew. He had wondered if River would have ended up with Akutan if Rio hadn't been around.

The healer listened as Byakko shared his fears of dying and leaving Akutan. Hakan hummed in agreement and tilted his head at his friend, "Its natural to be afraid. We spend our lives trying to survive until this point and now when we're here its hard to let go. I think Akutan is ready honestly. As ready as he really could be. I'll be here for him, I promise. He's got Kyra now too, building a family. I think teaching Rapture will help him focus on whats important for his role. Nothing like bringing in the next generation to help you realize whats really important too." Hakan said glancing off into the distance not fully realizing he probably dropped the biggest news on the elders head. Hakan knew his daughter was in the early stages of her pregnancy, but didn't want to let on that he knew in any capacity. It was her news to share and he didn't want to alarm anyone else by trying to attend to her or stress her out. He thought she was probably still clueless.

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Photo © Erik Stine / coding © vixxie's codes / lyrics © Garden by Noah Gundersen

[Sekirei]

"It's natural to be afraid. We spend our lives trying to survive until this point and now when we're here its hard to let go. I think Akutan is ready honestly. As ready as he really could be. I'll be here for him, I promise. He's got Kyra now too, building a family. I think teaching Rapture will help him focus on whats important for his role. Nothing like bringing in the next generation to help you realize whats really important too." Hakan said. Byakko flicked an ear. He heard what his friend said and it seemed to confirm his own observations. "She's expecting? I kind of figured something was up. She's been testy since we left Inaria. I don't think Akutan's noticed yet. He's pretty much been on Cloud 9 since we learned we were returning to this place." he said. He then chuckled long. "The boy's got a one-track mind. I wonder how long it will be before he notices. I'm not about to drop that bombshell. Not really my place to." he added.

That got his gears ticking away from his impending end. He wondered how many pups they would have, what names they would give them, and what they would look like. Odds were against Byakko living to see them himself. But at least he would be able to from the other side. "I'm excited for them all the same. I know Akutan will be a good father and mentor. Things are falling into place for him and all he can do is keep moving forward. He's got Kyra to see him through and Sara to keep him straight. Ticon's been a good supporter for him, as well. I think the Clan's in good paws." he mused.

[Charley]

H a k a n,

"And though we lose our stake, Heaven is where we make it
Even in the smallest places, Can a garden grow"

actions - “speech” - thoughts

Whoops, Kyra would have his hide for that.
"Well she doesn't seem to be hiding it much." Hakan chuckled right along with Byakko. It seemed to lift the old mans spirits a bit. "She's not at all like her mother, He will probably notice soon. She'd probably have my hide just slipping it to you." He smiled. It was good to share this, he didn't know if Kyra would let everyone know before or after Byakko passed. Knowing the next generation was on its way would either comfort the elder to know that things were falling into place or excite them to hold on for longer. Hakan quietly wished he would hold on to see both their grandpups but that was probably too much to ask of him.

"I'm hoping Kyra would be a good force for him." He said on Byakko's note, "He might be the stabilizer honestly in that relationship, but she might be the one to get him moving on decisions and actionable motivations. He will probably encourage her to think more, especially with pups on the way." Hakan looked at the small mounds of Akutan's siblings. He hoped his genetics wouldn't fuddle up this bloodline more and add to the count of small mounds. Akutan was the last of his litter, every one of them was stillborn but something spoke to Hakan about this small silver socked black boy with the lightening mark. Hakan had rubbed the life into him. He wondered if Kyra's first litter would make it full term, he wondered if there would be any still births, or runts that wouldn't make it past their first day. It would be the first litter since they came home, whatever they have and however it comes about will probably be taken as an omen for their return to Nardir.

"It is... The clan. Its in good paws." He said blinking his gaze away from the potential tradgedy that could befall them so soon after losing their patriarch.

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Photo © Erik Stine / coding © vixxie's codes / lyrics © Garden by Noah Gundersen

[Sekirei]

Byakko listened to Hakan's assurances that things would be fine for the Clan after he was gone. He even promised to look after things. The oldster remained in thought. He didn't think he would live long enough to see the next generation's newest members be born and it was probably for the best. The first thing Sara saw when she left the den the first time was her dying grandfather. It had been good timing as seeing Firewing's eyes had brought X peace in his final hours and Sara seemed to come out of it okay, as well. Byakko didn't think he had that kind of time nor did he want to be the first thing the new pups saw when they left the den. As much as he wanted to see his son/nephew's new family, he wanted to see the family who had gone before even more.

"I wonder how many they'll have and what they'll look like." he mused aloud. He stretched out on his belly, shifting so his body was running the length of Silverstream's mound. His head came to rest on his paws as the breeze carried familiar scents of the Old Forest to him. It melted the years and weariness from his very bones and he came to the conclusion that while his homeland was far across the Straits, the Old Forest was where the ex-Lindarian and his family truly belonged. Whatever came next, his bloodline would remain, even though it had gotten weaker over the years. He was the last pure Fringe Lindarian this side of the Straits, such as never will be again. Who knew? Maybe further down the line, the wolves that were direct descendants of Firewing (and the First Alpha further back) would lose everything Fringe and just be normal dire mixes with the Fringe blood being so weak, it would disappear entirely. That was only if none in his family ever took Fringe or Fringe-mix mates. Still...what made the Lindarians more than just their breed was their lore and Akutan was a staunch steward of his heritage and the lore that came with it. So long as Rapture and the other pups kept those stories, Lindras would never truly die and would remain the Shadow of Nardir.

"You know, Hakan. Even though I've long considered myself Nardirian, I never forgot I was born and still claim to be Lindarian. I wonder if the wolves who knew me and my family well have realized that through my Clan, Lindras has continued to exist long after the pack itself self-destructed. I think I see where my own misgivings about the Clan's place in the pack came from. Especially when it came to Aylie. I think deep down, she didn't much care for the way we've held onto our heritage any more than she cared about the way Nardir operates. She continues to confuse me now but what more can I do than just accept that she's probably going to remain lost. I wonder if Sister ever made peace with things at the end of her own days. She had...so many regrets." he ventured. At his words, he thought he saw a silver-and-white specter in his peripheral vision and he lifted his head to look. Again, he saw nothing but his ears remained perked as if listening for something.

[Charley]

H a k a n,

"And though we lose our stake, Heaven is where we make it
Even in the smallest places, Can a garden grow"

actions - “speech” - thoughts

Hakan shifted as well, finding a comfortable flat spot where he didn't have to crane his neck to speak to Byakko. He smiled as his friend mused what the pups could look like.

“Honestly I have no idea. It's a complete toss up. Some pure blue could show up from Storms side, and Firebright's brilliant red could find its way into their fur, maybe someone will take after me and be one solid color, or bring in this muddy mess of basic brown. Don't forget about the potential for twins, or even multiple sets of twins.” It was good to talk about the happy parts of the future pups, imagining what they could look like. But he couldn't shake the potential heartbreak, he hoped Kyra would be wise and careful.

Thankfully Byakko turned the conversation to his own heritage and the clans "headache" as it were. Hakan would never let on that he had met the girl in the neutrals, gave her survivalist herbal training for a few months, and a therapy session. He was intimately aware of Aylie's point of view on the culmination of her life. The clan had taken in the orphan, here, in these lands. They did their best with her, but they had their own failings that inevitably couldn't help Aylie's own issues. He knew something like this was to come up with his friend. What could he say to Byakko that wouldn't betray Aylie's confidence yet comfort Byakko and the clans involvement of raising Aylie? They could not be absolved of their own failings to Aylie, but they had been was over their heads with the poor abused girl.

He tilted his head at Byakko and watched him carefully for a moment before replying. “I like to believe that, from the other side, one can see the whole picture. Perhaps there's still room for growth, peace, knowledge, and perspective when we leave this material world behind. Perhaps you might gain some new insight into Aylie's world when you're no longer constrained to your single perspective.” Hakan hoped that didn't come off as offensive, “Perhaps Starfire knows now that maybe she couldn't fix Aylie. You can't fix someone else even for their own benefit. Think of what happened to that girl, think of what happened to us all. She was still a child, barely a yearling when we were exiled from this place, if I remember, forced to wander. Someone failed to keep tabs on her when we were exiled because we were all wrapped up in barely surviving.” He loved Byakko dearly, and he didn't know if speaking to him about this was truly consequential when he was so close to passing away anyhow and perhaps seeing the big picture anyway. Maybe Hakan needed this more than he thought Byakko needed to hear it. “We as a pack failed her, you as her adopted family... if you or Starfire had truly claimed her as your own someone would have made a point to keep her close.  She wouldn't have been lost when we were all exiled. She should have been with someone. BUT...” He knew he had stepped on some toes, he could almost feel the difference in the wind, Starfire was here with them, he knew he could almost feel her, he could swear he could hear the rest of the dead around him listening.

“... to be fair she's always had the propensity for independence and to slip away. Maybe you did all you could, but unfortunately, for that girl, it wasn't enough. I did all I could for Kyra, for my family, but it wasn't enough. I still lost my own way, she believes I abandoned them in my delirium. I will always be making it up to her because she's my daughter and I should have been there for her. Someday we'll both accept our failures for what they are because we're not perfect. But I can't make her accept my failures, she has to figure it out. She has to move on in her own time. It will be the same for Aylie.” She has a lot more from her own life to negotiate before you even set eyes on her. He almost said but THAT would have betrayed Aylie's confidence.

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Photo © Erik Stine / coding © vixxie's codes / lyrics © Garden by Noah Gundersen

[Sekirei]

"You're right, old friend. For the time being, the Clan is content to ignore and be ignored by her. We know where we failed. Me, I'm too far gone to really care anymore. Akutan, before something clicked in his head, was convinced she'd try to upstage him by attempting to claim his birthright. It's no longer the case now, thank the winds. I think Rapture, Aeneas, and Beatrice's birth helped get his mind back on track. They gave him a goal in life, to hand down the stories of our ancestors." Byakko said. Nothing Hakan said really stung. It would've bothered a younger, strong Byakko but the older, dying Byakko was a different story. 

"I think as long as I'm left to die in peace, I should be able to make it through the Deadlands without any harsh words from her following me. I have a feeling that would cast a bad light on her in the Black Wolf's eyes. Legends say he doesn't particularly like it when wolves disrespect the dead or dying, at least as far as those wolves who did nothing to warrant his own negative judgment. Still, that's far into the future, barring another tragedy." he sighed. Byakko wasn't sure where he personally stood in the Black Wolf's eyes but he hoped he had done enough to atone for any wrongdoing he had done in his life. He doubted Aylie would notice or care when he went away for good. He was fine with that because what he said to Hakan was true. He legitimately didn't care anymore. Likely a sign of his soul disconnecting from his physical form. The things of the living world usually didn't bother one on death's door. Starfire had been different. She had more or less died of heartbreak and humiliation. It got him thinking about her own journey through the Deadlands. The more obscure stories said the Black Wolf had a soft spot for those with gentle souls. He was a protective figure in those stories. Starfire likely had difficulty on her path to the Afterworld but the Black Wolf was forgiving when he wanted to be.

[Charley]

H a k a n,

"And though we lose our stake, Heaven is where we make it
Even in the smallest places, Can a garden grow"

actions - “speech” - thoughts

He looked away as it disgruntled him when Byakko acknowledged his words then conceded that the clan was content to ignore the girl. That potentially could damage things further for Aylie in Hakan's point of view. But here, it wasn't his place to assume as much, and it was no longer Byakko's concern. There was still time for Aylie to make her self known but as it stood, Byakko didn't need that now, and it probably wouldn't change anything for the girl or her own opinions of the clan.

Hakan turned back though when Byakko spoke of the black wolf of their beliefs. It was rare when he spoke of it and the healer couldn't remember how or when he had first heard of Byakko share these beliefs, but he had been privy to their beliefs on occasion. It was interesting for Hakan to note that Byakko seemed to believe this Black Wolf would judge even those outside of this belief system, like Aylie and probably himself. He couldn't say he had really come across this particular legend outside of the Lindras family line. Hakan was of the belief system that whatever one believed was their religion was subject to that systems afterlife. So the Lindras family and those that believed in this black wolf would face their judgement as Byakko said, but those that believed in a separate system and had no judgement or deadlands or black wolf in their beliefs was not subject to this other system. His own birth-land had at least three wildly different creation stories and afterlife myths. He couldn't recall what the Nardir Moon religion's afterlife mythos was to be honest. He had quite a separation from religion in his own beliefs, neither believing nor disbelieving a religion over another. He had adopted the Nardirian view of the Moon as a mother goddess figure and stars as perhaps ancestors or guides or members of note, but didn't make it a point to truly believe or throw much thought into it. He typically had work to do. Though lately he'd have more time to contemplate such things.

"I don't think Aylie could get passed Akutan or Ticon if she really wanted have the last word with you on anything anyway." He sighed. What would his grandpups believe? Would they have this amalgamation of the moon religion and the Lindras belief system? Would they believe on system over the other? Would be they be indifferent? Would they live to form their own opinions?

"Would you... keep on eye on our grandpups... from the otherside? Or entreat this black wolf to help them live? I'm worried. I don't remember a lot of litters from my female relatives. And I've heard stories from my aunts in the old healers pack I was in about how they were sterile or birthed... pups that couldn't live longer than their first day... Runts, extra limbs... it was awful. They told me they had been banished when they couldn't reproduce." Hakan asked quietly. It wouldn't do to have... monsters as the first litter birthed since they came back. He had no idea how Kyra would react. He remembered one aunt that had been exiled, she had been a healer of the healers pack Hakan was taught in, and when she learned where he had come from, and what had happened to their home pack, she finally let him know why she had been banished. It was terrible. It was so long ago now. He could barely remember exactly her words, but he could see her white face and strange translucent eyes boring into him even now.

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Photo © Erik Stine / coding © vixxie's codes / lyrics © Garden by Noah Gundersen

[Sekirei]

"I don't think Aylie could get passed Akutan or Ticon if she really wanted have the last word with you on anything anyway." Hakan said. "That depends on her and them. Part of me feels Aylie won't notice or care that I'm gone. My just reward for failing her on my part and will cease to matter when I make the journey anyway. Akutan is also wise enough to know when things need to be said so on the off-chance she does come across me when I'm on my way out, he probably won't stop her. Ticon tends to follow his lead so he wouldn't do anything either." Byakko said. He believed it, too. And like much recently, it failed to make him feel, well, anything. The time for remorse was long over. He made his bed and he would lie in it. He had stood in judgment of mortals and his time to stand in judgment to the Immortal was coming soon.

"Would you... keep on eye on our grandpups... from the otherside? Or entreat this black wolf to help them live? I'm worried. I don't remember a lot of litters from my female relatives. And I've heard stories from my aunts in the old healers pack I was in about how they were sterile or birthed... pups that couldn't live longer than their first day... Runts, extra limbs... it was awful. They told me they had been banished when they couldn't reproduce." Hakan then said. Byakko mused for a moment. "I will always be watching from the Afterworld. Of that, you can be sure. As for me entreating the Black Wolf to save them somehow from the things you described, that's entirely up to him. He doesn't hold much power over the living but I'm reminded of when Sara gave birth. I believe she saw him, judging from her frantic pleas that if he had come to take anyone, he should take her and leave her pups alone. Aeneas almost didn't make it but then he started breathing. Something deep down tells me that he showed a less-talked-about side of himself if he did indeed appear to her. That he stepped in to give Aeneas a boost to keep living. Goes to show he's more than just the Grim Reaper. It sounds like the pack you were born to had some serious inbreeding going on. I'm no healer but the things you described don't just happen with that kind of frequency if there wasn't. Your pups came out fine, thanks to Firebright introducing her bloodline. I have a feeling the damage to your own may only be lessened because these future pups will have Lindarian blood flowing through them. Only time will tell so I can't promise anything." he said.

He kept his own peace about the interpretation of what he had heard Sara say when she was gripped by delirium. Her words implied she would willingly be the Black Wolf's slave in any way he desired. Byakko could only wonder she got that idea from. The Black Wolf was Gatekeeper, Grim Reaper, and a shepherd of souls. There was no story, to his knowledge, where he could trap a soul in the Deadlands to serve as a slave. Most of the legends explicitly stated the Father of Wolves withheld such a power to prevent the Black Wolf from straying from the path of right action. Same for the Gatekeepers of other animal races. They could take no prisoners. It seemed it was something Sara's pain-addled brain concocted for whatever reason but it spoke of her inner strength and sense of self-sacrifice all the same. Hakan likely had a different interpretation, hence why Byakko refrained from sharing his current thoughts.

[Charley]

H a k a n,

"And though we lose our stake, Heaven is where we make it
Even in the smallest places, Can a garden grow"

actions - “speech” - thoughts

Hakan nodded as Byakko continued about Aylie. That seemed settled then and there was no point to continue that conversation.

Then as Byakko spoke about watching the pups from beyond, and entreating this black wolf of theirs, Hakan nodded again and added, "I remember," as his friend went on about Sara's strange behavior while she was in labour and shortly after Aeneas was born. Hakan had been worried it was high blood affecting her brain, something her mother most likely experienced and potentially caused Raka's amnesia. It could have caused a hallucination but Hakan wasn't altogether of the mind that halucinations were things things that weren't there, perhaps sometimes hallucinations were when someone could see beyond their material world. Hakan had been around more than one block in birth and death and strange goings on. Byakko had just admitted to seeing things as he was close to the end of his life, and Hakan's own Mentor, the one that gave him the hawk feather on the cord around his neck, had spoken of such things and had seen his own visions when he was close to death. He had wanted Hakan to never disbelieve someone's point of view or ideology, no matter how strange or different it was from his own. An open mind always.

The healer blinked at Byakko as he turned the conversation inevitably to a very sore spot of Hakan's. Byakko was the only other wolf outside of Kyra, Akutan and himself to know of Hakan's genetics. Not even Firebright or his own Son, Reese, knew. He had revealed this deeply tarnished secret when Kyra had come to them to announce hers and Akutan's partnership, as mates, lovers, and potentially parents. Hakan had not wanted to reveal it to Kyra while his closest friend was in earshot. He had not wanted to reveal it to Kyra or her sister ever.
He tucked his paws under him, wanting to hide away, shamed as if he had any control of his past.

"Yes..." He replied quietly, "You had said as much before. I had no idea at the time of course. I was just a child. When my pack was massacred I don't think I was even a yearling yet. I can't remember. My old lands had a group of healers, their own pack with their own lands. They were always neutral to any conflict and would raise and teach healers for other packs. I found an aunt there, several actually, and an uncle, that had been banished from my parents pack. They were the ones who told me. Everyone was related somehow in some way. I can only hope the further away the generation grows the stronger they get." He hoped that would be end of it. He had tucked his own tail under himself as well, not wanting to look Byakko in the eyes.  

ooc

Photo © Erik Stine / coding © vixxie's codes / lyrics © Garden by Noah Gundersen

[Sekirei]

"Yes...You had said as much before. I had no idea at the time of course. I was just a child. When my pack was massacred I don't think I was even a yearling yet. I can't remember. My old lands had a group of healers, their own pack with their own lands. They were always neutral to any conflict and would raise and teach healers for other packs. I found an aunt there, several actually, and an uncle, that had been banished from my parents' pack. They were the ones who told me. Everyone was related somehow in some way. I can only hope the further away the generation grows the stronger they get." Hakan said, curling his tail and not looking at Byakko. The monochrome Fringe sighed. His tail came to gently thump Hakan's shoulder before returning to rest on Silverstream's grave. It seemed everyone he knew had some issue or another. Hakan was the child of a pack of inbred idiots who didn't know or care about the fact they were destroying themselves because of it, Akutan had his anger issues, Byakko himself had survivor's guilt that was slowly disappearing, and Raka had memory problems. Sara was a pacifist which wasn't much of an issue as it was a lifestyle choice. She simply could do no harm but would take it in the place of another. Best of all, a grand total of a single wolf (Aylie) had an issue with Sara's pacifism but would never say so to her face. Seemed the only wolf in the Clan and out that more well-adjusted than most of them was Ticon. The kid was still as determined than ever to be of use to the Clan, almost as if he put the Clan before the rest of the pack. Naturally, Nardir being Nardir, this wasn't an issue since it didn't clash with his official duties under Akutan. As for Rapture, Beatrice, and Aeneas, they were still coming into their own so time would tell how well-adjusted they were.

"For what it's worth, you and your pups could've turned out a lot worse than you did. Depending on how far back the inbreeding went, you were all pretty lucky to have come out physically normal. Whether that holds true mentally, well, I'm in no position to really know that. Kyra is little more than a firecracker, which isn't indicative of anything, to be honest. I remember Lyra as being the quiet girl who somehow fell for me as a pup. At the risk of sounding like I'm crossing a line, I sometimes wonder if that still holds true." he mused. He rarely thought about Kyra's twin sister but when he did, it was always the same question: what made him special in her young eyes? He was many moons older and had a face to wake the dead, thanks to Hexilia's shenanigans causing him to fall over a waterfall, have an impromptu meeting with some nasty brambles, and falling into a coma after hitting his head. But for some reason, Lyra had shown no fear and he couldn't help but wonder why.

[Charley]

H a k a n,

"And though we lose our stake, Heaven is where we make it
Even in the smallest places, Can a garden grow"

actions - “speech” - thoughts

The healer looked up as he felt Byakko thump his shoulder. The action felt comforting more or less, it was like a good "Don't be so sorry for yourself you big oaf" tap. He couldn't help but throw the great dire a thankful half-smile.

Byakko replied about how Hakan was lucky his kids had come out no worse for wear. To be honest it hadn't crossed his mind that his own kids would come out like some of his cousins. The stories he had heard had always come off as the females fault, but was it truly? Was that just the pervading belief of the pack? That one uncle had had come across once was banished because he never wanted pups or to mate. At the time Hakan was aghast that his parents would condone such a thing. Would he have been banished if he never wanted to have pups himself? Of course now all of the questions about his past was coming up now that he was older. Would have saved him a lot of headaches if he had thought more about this when he was younger. Would his son Reese have fertility issues? It was no where near as dangerous for him. Maybe that was it. It had been dangerous for many of his cousins and various other aunts had died in childbirth. He wondered how many of them were really his parents siblings or just other branches on the family tree and everyone was an aunt or uncle regardless of actual relation.

He nearly lost his train of thought, or rather it nearly crashed to a screeching halt, as Byakko went on about Lyra and how she had had a puppy crush on him. He smirked despite his initial misgivings on the subject. "We all had our puppy crushes. Usually on someone older than ourselves when we were that small."His smile faded some, he wondered if he'll ever see his brightest pupil and gentle treasure again. Lyra had always been easier to parent for him.

He sighed, and got up, stretched some weary muscles and gave Byakko a good long look. "I'll be heading off. This was good." If Byakko permitted it, Hakan gave him a head press for farewell, forehead to forehead. Otherwise he would have pressed his nose into his shoulder and stepped back. "You let me now if you need anything. Especially if you're in pain." He knew the old codger would rather die than take any pain meds, pun intended, "Or if you want to talk some more. For now though I should head back and get some shut eye."

ooc

Photo © Erik Stine / coding © vixxie's codes / lyrics © Garden by Noah Gundersen

[Sekirei]

"I'll be heading off. This was good. You let me now if you need anything. Especially if you're in pain. Or if you want to talk some more. For now though I should head back and get some shut eye." Hakan said after musing about puppy love. Byakko met his head bump with one of his own. "Thanks for the talk, old friend. I'll be good for now. Haven't had much in the way of pain lately but I'll let you or Sara know if I need anything." he replied. He watched Hakan head off before looking at the mound at his side. So close and yet, so far. By this point in time, he knew only bones lay beneath the earth. It just didn't feel right, knowing one so young and so beautiful was committed to the ground after such a short life. He started dozing off, the warm sun filtering through the trees and a calm breeze flowed into the area. 

He dreamed of Silverstream. The nights they had together, the day's hunts, just being around each other. They were walking along a forest path and they were greeted by a massive black wolf. "Come, Silverstream...your time is over." the pitch black giant said. Byakko locked eyes with his beloved. She gave him a sad smile and approached the Black Wolf. Just like that, the scene faded and Byakko was left standing before the Grim Reaper. "Did you have to take her from me so soon?" he asked the specter. "It was her time. No matter how young or old, every creature has its season. Your love only had two years to live the moment she was given a soul by the Father. There was nothing you or I could do to change that, Son of Lindras. Same held true for your father and sister. Even the niece and nephews you lost had little chance at living. I took pity on your sister and breathed life into your living nephew. The Father of Wolves allowed me that ability to use as I see fit." the Black Wolf said. He turned to leave. 

"And did you appear before my daughter?" Byakko blurted out. The Gatekeeper paused and looked over his shoulder. "Despite her unnatural pacifism, Sarajevo is a brave one. She willingly offered me everything, even her body, if I spared the pups she birthed. The only reason I was there that day was simple. I'm not just a shepherd of dead souls. I bring new ones to the bodies they would inhabit for however long they were given. Your daughter was delirious, which allowed her to perceive the imperceivable, and she misunderstood my intentions. I'm making you privy to this information because your time is short and odds are, you won't remember this encounter." the giant said. Byakko looked down, thinking about what he had learned. 

"Enjoy what remains of your time in the world of the living, Byakko. We will meet again and I hope you're prepared for judgment." 

(And that's the round. The italicised section is just a dream. Make of it what you will but it never happened in the waking world.)