[rukhsana]

Everything looked different now. No matter how many times she blinked, rubbed her eyes, turned her head, she couldn't see things the way they used to be. The same shapes were still there, but the colors had dulled. It all looked... sad. Dead, almost. Ivaylo remembered how vibrant everything used to be when she was only a child. Experiences and emotions bubbled out of her nearly every day. She could feel it coming from her, her family, and the little things around them. Now, she didn't have a grasp on time. But she knew that was becoming a problem from the start. She didn't know where she was going, or why. She had no clue if she even wanted to do anything anymore. Most days, she would over sleep and force herself to lay still for hours and go hungry. Was this punishment? It felt like it. But she just didn't want to move.

She lay there now, her head between her paws, in a hollow at the base of a large tree. It was the best form of shelter she could find after days of mindless walking. After she found it, she chose to settle in immediately. She had it in her mind that she had truly given up this time. Even after the strangers she met attempted to give her the realistic side of things, she still wanted to cling to the last bit of hope she had in finding her brother. Yet she knew since then how real it is now. She was surely alone. She could think about nothing else but how her future would be filled with sorrow and solitude. Logically, it didn't have to be that way. She could get up right now and find Sveyn's trail to Bacchus, and not be so alone, but she didn't want to. It wouldn't bring her mother or brother back. She wouldn't fit in. They wouldn't love her. Ivaylo sniffled and placed a paw over her face, heaving a deep sigh. She couldn't keep her mind from running in circles like this, but she couldn't do anything about it either. Nice.

Suddenly, she lifted her head and stared out into the forest for several moments. A slight breeze blew her way, making her nose and eyes sting. Ivaylo could sense someone was near. She felt eyes on her. Even in her pit of despair, she pushed it away and stood up, ready to face the possibility of protecting herself. She tasted the air, catching slight hints of unfamiliar scents. A stranger was definitely here, and she had only just realized. She held back more whimpers and tears, and after a few heartbeats, slowly walked a few steps out from the tree.

"Are you there?"


(ooc: this is basically her right now lol)
@waka

[Hidalgo]

#997a8d

A life was left behind, several lives. Each time she seemed to resurface another part of her was lost and there wasn't much to be done by the space it left. Always moving forward, but never getting ahead. How did that work? To think that a creature such as herself could be considered thriving? That was hilarious, there were still those days when she didn't know who exactly she was. Staring into a pool of water and there was something that looked like her staring back with the eyes of a stranger.

Hidalgo was what she had always been, what her mother had been, what her father, and her siblings had been. A victim of circumstance. Though the valley had been kinder to her than some, it still managed to seep it's corruption into that heretic mind of her's.

Your name is, Hidalgo Hidalgo Hidalgo. That's the only thing you've got in this world, the rest doesn't matter.

A light powder had formed on the ground, the breeze carried snowflakes and cold air, and as she trudged through it, the blue female had stumbled upon another. Are you there? Ears pulled back and a crooked sneer pulled at her black lips. Her lithe form pushing past a holly bush. "Whooo me?" Head tilted curiously as she looked to the other female, golden gaze would glance about and then bounce back onto the girl. "I think it's safe to say that we're the only two here." A certain sing-song tone gripped at her words.

To be honest, Hidalgo hadn't expected to run into anyone, not for a while yet anway. "You're looking a little worse for wear there sweetie, are you sick? If you want I can be sit and listen to your last words or something. You know, whatever they do for people who are dying." The blue girl took a seat, perfectly poised a jagged smile curly upon her mouth.

"Hidalgo, at your service." Just your friendly, neighborhood heathen. "I promise you, I don't make it a habit to talk to the dead, dying, or the like. So this is your lucky day, girlie!" But for three easy payments of 19.95$, honey, I just might. After all, she had the miraculous gift of being everything that nobody needed nor wanted, making things worse as she went.

[rukhsana]

As quickly as she spoke, another shewolf crept from the dense undergrowth. Ivaylo took a step back. She was hoping that she was just imagining it, but she wasn't expecting someone to really answer her.

"Whooo me? I think it's safe to say that we're the only two here."

She kept quiet as she gazed at this stranger. It was still hard for her to speak since she wasn't used to interacting with those other than her brother and mother. Then again, she wasn't used to that anymore either. She'd grown accustomed to being alone and not speaking at all. Most of the time, she was just in her own head. Could she be dreaming right now? She blinked slowly. No, she was definitely awake. She shifted her paw that was still healing from the wound she had suffered days ago. Yes, there was a slight sting, coupled with the anxiety deep in her gut like a hollow pit. She took a moment to feel grateful for it. Pain and fear, two things that reminded her that she was alive.

"You're looking a little worse for wear there sweetie, are you sick? If you want I can sit and listen to your last words or something. You know, whatever they do for people who are dying."

Ivaylo's eyes narrowed. "I'm not dying," she huffed, circling around so that she wasn't backed up against the tree she was taking shelter in. "I'm fine. Just tired." She saw that the blueish female was comfortable enough to sit and still talk to her, but Ivaylo kept on her feet, eyeing her up and down. Who was she? How come only now Ivaylo is discovering these others who seem to live here as well? Or is she a traveller, a part of a family, like Sveyn? She didn't know if she wanted to know. The look on her face was making her nervous.

"Hidalgo, at your service. I promise you, I don't make it a habit to talk to the dead, dying, or the like. So this is your lucky day, girlie!"

She grinned halfheartedly. "Is it? ... I'm Ivaylo. I don't make it a habit to look as if I'm dying. Do I look like I'm dying?" she asked, half sarcastically but half curiously, puffing out her chest as she did so. She froze, hunching over to stare at herself in the reflection of a small puddle by her feet. There was dirt smudged all over her face and dried blood stained around her mouth and neck from hunting that she never bothered to wash off. Her fur was ruffled and frizzy, and her eyes dull and dreary. Who was she? She quickly glanced back up at Hidalgo and frowned.

"Uh... don't answer that." She was a hot mess, but she was still alive. She took note that the only reason she could convince herself that she wasn't dying was that she was in the presence of another. She didn't know if she liked that or not.


@waka

[Hidalgo]

#997a8d

All toothy smiles, that's all you've ever been Hidalgo. Those teeth glinting in the light and black lips pulled into a delightfully saccharine smile, oh you walking Cheshire Cat. But that smile dulled and faded, golden gaze falling onto the girl's afflicted paw and curled her lip. I'm not dying, I'm fine. Just tired. A brow rose, and Hidalgo seemed almost bemused by the girl's reply. Sure, there was more wrong with her than her just being tired. Dying people looked tired all the time, that's why they died, right? She offered the pale female a shrug. "What do I know then, it's not like I'm an authority on sick people, or their wounded little paws." Head rising as a huff of hot air blew from her nose releasing a wave of vapor into the air.

Infections happened and they took lives, if this girl wasn't careful she'd find herself in a similar fate. Even if it wasn't any of Hidalgo's business, it was always better to point out the problems in someone else's life than in her own. Gave her less to really reflect on.

Is it? ... I'm Ivaylo. I don't make it a habit to look as if I'm dying. Do I look like I'm dying? A rhetorical question, though it screamed NEEDS AN ANSWER, she'd spare Iv a witty remark. Seemed both of them were chock full of them and the other female wasn't really in a place where sarcasm was exactly what she needed at the moment. Uh... don't answer that. A blink and a smirk followed by a shrug. "Call'em as I see'em." Golden gaze bounced off of the female to the overcast sky, squinting away snowflakes that wandered too close to her eyes.

In all honesty here, Hidalgo was the last person to ever comment about someone looking dead when all she did was act like she was. Coasting through life, no plans, no sense of self. "It's so easy, ya know? So easy to just get lost out here." Gaze would fall back to Iv and she'd give the other a sneer. "But, I'm out here for a reason. I've got big plans, and you? You don't look like you're planning much these days, sweetie." Standing up to walk closer, head tilted with budding curiosity.

Snakes came in all shapes and forms, the poisonous ones being the most dangerous of course, and luckily for Ivaylo, Hidalgo lacked venom, but still she was a snake after all. "So, why are you out here all on your own?"

[rukhsana]

The sly girl remarked her injury on her paw, and Ivaylo's face twisted with a combination of annoyance and embarrassment. She couldn't avoid looking like the desperate, lost child that she was. She refused to admit it to herself. Especially in the eyes of someone unfamiliar and older. Typical Iv, always trying to appear stronger than she is. Why couldn't she just be older and smarter and more tough? Whatever, too late to deflect it. She pursed her lip and looked away, saying nothing and feeling her face get hot. If she were smarter, she'd know that her foot needed to be treated. She was walking on it for days with nothing but her tongue to ease the pain and clean it. But of course, she was not smart. That wasn't what she was good for.

 "Call'em as I see'em."

She looked back at her and stared for a moment before hesitating to pull a subtle smile. She didn't know what it was about those who were brutally honest without a filter, but she adored it and hated it at the same time and couldn't help but feel drawn to them. Still, she felt at a loss for words and just kept gazing at her. She shifted her paw again, feeling it sting from the cold ground, but her warm cheeks distracted her from the pain. Her smile faded as she watched Hidalgo lift her head to the sky. Ivaylo tilted her head for a moment, wondering what she was looking at, but she took a few steps closer to see past the branches that stretched above her. The sky, too, looked dead to her. As she watched the snow fall with Hidalgo, she suddenly felt terribly sad again and was reminded of where she really was and what she was actually doing. 

"It's so easy, ya know? So easy to just get lost out here."

Fuckin' tell me about it, she thought to herself. She reflected on Hidalgo's question, and couldn't help but think about where Hidalgo herself could be coming from. If Ivaylo really was doing so badly, why would someone like Hidalgo be talking to her? There had to be some reason an intelligent shewolf like her would be living here, and talking to her of all things that inhabited this place. Maybe this was just the place to get lost and never find yourself again. Empty souls. What did that say about her, someone who was born here?

"But, I'm out here for a reason. I've got big plans, and you? You don't look like you're planning much these days, sweetie." 

She looked back at her as she began to draw closer to where she stood, and her eyes widened as she stumbled backwards, her rump shoved against the trunk of a tree. The way she kept looking at her was unnerving, and she wasn't quite sure how to take it. She also wasn't too comfortable with how physically close to her she was getting. She didn't know how to act at all. Her head leaned back as Hidalgo came as close as she could, and she gaped down her snout right into her hypnotically golden eyes.

"So, why are you out here all on your own?"

She gulped and then shook her head furiously, her eyes still peering into her's. "I've been on my own since I lost my family. It's been awhile, but... still recent." She stopped to look back up at the sky through the branches again, then back at her. "But you're not wrong. I guess I am out here for no reason now. I don't really... know what's happening," she laughed nervously, trying to hide how stressed she really was. She couldn't explain to her how distorted reality felt on a day to day basis. She wasn't sure if she'd ever be able to tell anyone. For now, she preferred to keep that to herself. "I made a friend who left a trail for me to follow if I wanted to join his family, but... I don't know if that's what I want. So I guess that's a plan, but... not one I think I intend to act on. If that makes sense."

Ivaylo finally grew tired of pressing up against the tree, and trotted anxiously around her a little ways away to create some distance between her and Hidalgo. She looked back at her, lifting her paw to keep it from freezing and hurting. She was really scared, but she knew that in a way she needed Hidalgo here, talking to her. She hadn't felt this sane in... well, since everything happened.

"I had plans... To just live. We took care of each other. I didn't think this would happen. I didn't know I'd have to plan for this, in case I'd be alone forever." She gritted her teeth, scuffing earth angrily with her paw. "I didn't think I'd need a reason to survive, other than to help keep them alive. I can't even do that. Haha, I can't even do that!" she snapped, stomping her paw back down. She breathed heavily, staring angrily at nothing in particular. After a period of uncomfortable silence, she looked back at Hidalgo and lowered her ears. 

"... Sorry." She couldn't say much more. She felt repulsed with herself. Her emotions disgusted her. Now she was oversharing with an absolute stranger. An absolute stranger that creeped her out to no end but intrigued her nonetheless. She sighed, taking a peek at her pawpads. Bleeding again, and throbbing. She simply growled irritably and sat down, her head lowered.




@waka

[Hidalgo]

#997a8d

Dive right into some's life, invade their privacy and find solace in knowing that there was always someone out there who had it worse. She lived for that feeling, thrived off of it. Blinking at the girl as she spun her tale. I've been on my own since I lost my family. It's been awhile, but... still recent. Hidalgo was sure this one was going to be tight lipped and she'd have to find her fix in someone else, but girlie here didn't disappoint.

But you're not wrong. I guess I am out here for no reason now. I don't really... know what's happening, I made a friend who left a trail for me to follow if I wanted to join his family, but... I don't know if that's what I want. So I guess that's a plan, but... not one I think I intend to act on. If that makes sense. Ears perked forward and Hidalgo stopped in her tracks, backing off the girl as she came to rest upon her haunches once more. The nervous laughter was unsettling, even for her. "Ooh, yeah I guess that makes sense. Sorry about your family, it's rough being without one." Her face remained neutral, though her tone held sincerity within it. The blue gal knew what it was like to be without and what loss felt like, they were feelings left back in former lives or ages past, but sometimes those old scars felt like fresh wounds.

I had plans... To just live. We took care of each other. I didn't think this would happen. I didn't know I'd have to plan for this, in case I'd be alone forever. I didn't think I'd need a reason to survive, other than to help keep them alive. I can't even do that. Haha, I can't even do that! Her ears pulled back as the girl snapped, thought her expression remained more or less the same, and as the girl's temper fizzled out and her ears drooped, Hidalgo would offer her a raised brow. Sorry. Came her apology, though there wasn't anything to apologize for? She had a right to be upset, her life sucked. She couldn't fault her for being pissed about that.

"If it's any consolation, you're young. You don't have to have everything figured out." Genuine advice? From this schmuck? Impossible. So maybe Ivalyo pulled at her achy-breaky heartstrings, just a lil. She watched as the girl got up to put some distance between them and she didn't try to stop her, only giving her a shrug. Golden gaze would focus on green, humming to herself.  "Someone invited you into their family, so you're not as alone as you'd like to think.  Buuuuut, that paw will get infected if you don't stop acting like a big reckless idiot, and if that happens you won't get to meet your friend." Then you will be alone, and probably for good.

[rukhsana]

"If it's any consolation, you're young. You don't have to have everything figured out. Someone invited you into their family, so you're not as alone as you'd like to think."

    Ivaylo kept her head lowered, but pricked her ears at the sound of Hidalgo's voice to show that she was listening still. Her vision began to blur as tears began to well up again. But she tightened her face and shook herself to be rid of them. She was indeed young, and that meant emotional and naive. She was too angry to care about how much life she still had ahead of her. She couldn't see much point to it anymore. Who would want her in their family? All she knew was her own, and she had no idea what to expect. The unknown frightened her more than anything. Though, there was truth in Hidalgo's voice, and after a couple seconds, Ivaylo managed to use the energy she had left to lift her head and glance at her with some promise in her eyes. She looked away quicker than she intended when she felt her gazing back.

"Buuuuut, that paw will get infected if you don't stop acting like a big reckless idiot, and if that happens you won't get to meet your friend."

She sniffled and shook her head again, lifting her paw to inspect it. "Okay okay okay okay," she stammered, struggling to see what exactly was wrong with her pad besides the bleeding and throbbing pain. Then she hesitated, and turned her head to Hidalgo. "Uh, I dunno... What should I do?" She had never exactly learned this part from her mother yet. If this was even something she was supposed to teach her. "I just know it hurts... And bleeds sometimes. It's cold, I doubt there are very many plants that can help." Ivaylo paused to ponder for a bit. She glanced back at Hidalgo and smiled nervously. "Maybe I am dying..." She giggled lightly to herself. "And you? You seem to know what you're talking about. Does it get better? Did you ever... figure it out?" 


She shifted her gaze to the ground. "I suppose you must have, since you're not dead. And I suppose that's why I'm lucky, because I could be soon." A sigh shook her entire body, and a shiver followed as a sharp breeze blew towards them. At this point, she wasn't exactly sure what she was saying anymore. It was hard for her to pay attention to what was going on with the wind picking up and her head spinning. She frowned. A small part of her was annoyed with herself still, the way she spoke about her own despair and sorrow. She had survived this long by pure anger. Rage against everything and frustration with herself fueled her only way of living. If she had no reason to live anymore, why did she want to rip out life's throat? Ivaylo looked at Hidalgo up and down for a minute, then nodded towards her. "Y'know, I didn't mean to bother you earlier. I was just afraid you were someone who was gonna... hurt me or something. Not that I think you will or not, uh," she stuttered again. "I just mean, ah, if you gotta be somewhere, um... You don't need to stay." Please stay, she thought. Please stay.

[Ivaylo]

@waka hey girl i'm down to keep this going still if you are!

[waka]

@waka hey girl i'm down to keep this going still if you are!

oh sure! i can write a post up!! :3c

[Hidalgo]

@rukhsana

#cd853f

She'd tilt her head at the girl's stammering, though a smile curled upon that slender muzzle of her's, showing just the barest tips of pearly canine teeth. "Look kiddo, I'm just looking out for your well being. It's tough out here, especially on your own, life doesn't like to let up. Hell, often it likes to try and remind you how alone you are. For every bad thing, there's some good though." She went on to explain with the same nonchalance as earlier. "But, by the looks of it kitten, you only know about all the pain it can cause, that's not too good."

"Cause one day, you'll be looking a gift horse in the mouth and then- BAM!" Her fur prickled a few birds flew from the trees. "A missed opportunity, cause you're so defensive and pessimistic." Hidalgo would rock back onto her haunches that clever grin never once melting from her face until the cream colored female asked her for further advice, causing the blue gal's eyebrows to raise with just a hint of surprise. "Okay kitten, okay. You should wrap it, compression will stop the bleeding, rubbing some cinnamon bark onto your bandages will help too." It was common knowledge around the valley for her line of work, being a priest it gave her high enough rank to be able to shadow the herbalists, or maybe she was just a fountain of knowledge. Who knows.

Amber eyes glittered while a bit of that smile came back in a small upturn of her lips. "I don't think anyone ever figures it out, not completely, not like you think. I've got enough going for me, who I was before wasn't someone worth a damn, who I am now is all I care about." In so many lives and realities, there were dreams upon dreams of her ripping apart her old self, killing that imperfect little being and building once again from scratch. The Valley was always a constant, and the people within it were expendable. "Figuring your shit out just means being satisfied with who you are and what you're doing. Sometimes that takes a long fucking time."

Expelling a breath of vapor from her nostrils as the wind whipped at her thick coat, she shook her head and sighed. "I dunno about dying, but eeh, that up to you. Your life and all, I advise against it. It's got that stunning effect of being , y'know FOREVER." Ears pulled back, and she gave the girl a snort, as Ivaylo attempted an explanation for her behavior. "You don't need to explain, it's cool, kitten." The blue woman flashed a grin, of course there were far more sinister things out here than lil ol Hidalgo. She did however step forward, tilting her head as her amber gaze tried to meet the girl's green, and then shifted to the girl's paw. "Hmmm, I can leave whenever I want. I'm in no rush. Let's go wrap your paw up, sound good?" One good deed a day keeps me young and a step further from death, or so they say.