[Alana]

There had been many nights where Alana did not sleep at all. It was due not to insomnia, but instead to the overwhelming sense of guilt and shame that wrapped around her heart and mind like thistle vines. The Queen had not expected the search party to bring Mercury back to her, and it was a pleasant (albeit worrisome) surprise. Ayliyra's return, on the other hand, brought with it a dark cloud that thundered and flashed angrily at Alana, reminding her of her past wrongdoings and misjudgments. There was hesitance in her slow steps as the matriarch made her way through the Nardiri territory, as of yet unmarred by tragedy that would strike only days later.

As she traveled across her lands, Alana thought back to before Aylie's exile. Things had been difficult, to say the least, and perhaps that had something to do with the decisions she had made. With a sigh tumbling from her lips, Alana shook her head; that wasn't an excuse. Aylie had threatened the safety of Nardir and Alana's own children, not directly but by making decisions that the pack did not agree with. Ayliyra had deserved reprimand and punishment, but the Queen knew that the way she had handled the situation was not right. She had cast Aylie out of her home, away from her family and friends, and left her to be dealt with by their ally.

The woman hated herself for it.

When she reached the meadow, the Moon Queen made her way over to a cluster of rocks and boulders, smoothed over by the wind and elements. There the woman perched like a bird, seafoam eyes drifting over the flowers and tall grasses that would all soon turn brown and wither as fall and winter arrived. She howled a summons for Ayliyra then, her smooth voice lifting up into the cool fall air. All the Queen could do then was wait, and hope that the spotted wolf answered.

[Ayliyra]

The first meeting a few days ago had eventually ended and it had done so without bloodshed. While another might be willing to assume that made everything fine, made everything safe she was not. She had no intention of letting her guard slip and it costing her or Mercury in injuries or death. No. She knew better than to assume their presence here was a welcome one when it had made clear on so many occasions in the past that they were not wanted here. It would not matter how long they had been gone, and it Mercury's case perhaps moreso than her own, it would not matter that the reason was or could be justified..they were still the villains whoose coats did not shimmer and shine and glow as Alana's did as she sat upon her lofty perch to peer down her royal blooded nose at subjects who were so far beneath her they hardly warranted even that and the other Nardirians had deemed that fitting and proper. Had decided that was what a Nardirian queen was supposed to be rather than one who joined in patrols, who worked alongside their subjects getting just as hot and dusty and dirty as they. They had not appreciated that about Mercury, did not consider themselves fortunate to have such a queen, they were far too spoiled for that taking for granted things that would elsewhere and by others be seen and considered luxuries.

It was yet more reason to expect and to be ready for things to become rather less than pleasant, if not then, if not now..then eventually. She lay still resting as she could, though rest was no easier to come by than was a meal, with Mercury so far from her at present. It was further than she liked but Mercury had wished for space and time to herself and as she could neither refuse nor deny Mercury such as her feeling would not permit her, she had watched Mercury's form fade into the distance until even the sound of her movement had ceased to fall and her scent just barely lingered. So she would wait. At least that had been her intention but then..there it was. There were no others around, and it was perhaps fortunate that that was the case for the instant she heard that so familiar sound her eyes narrowed and her ears swiveled back. She had not forgotten the past, she had not forgotten what had been done to her.

True she had decided, and was trying, to be diplomatic but that did not erase the feelings of hurt and betrayal. Time had passed in plenty but time did not heal all wounds as was oft said and it had not healed the wounds that been carved, gouged into her heart and mind, by the ever so jagged pieces of the trust she'd once had that had been broken, broken by the one who called and more besides. She did not wish to go, had no desire to discover what new pains and miseries might await her there but if she remained here, if she tried to wait so that Mercury could accompany her it would only cause further problems, further lessen others views of Mercury, and that was assuming that it would be possible to wait for such a thing without guards arriving to provide and forced escort to the destination first.

She would not assume as such, to do so would be folly and while she had done many things before that could, had been and likely still were called foolish, this was not going to be one of them..at least she hoped not. She wasn't holding breath though as she rose and began heading towards whatever the summons would result. Her speed was not rushed though but carefully measured. She wanted time to access her surroundings by sight, sound and scent. She also did not wish to alarm anyone by racing full speed in the direction of the queen when she was likely known as a traitor still to the pack at large in which case running would be sure to invite attempts at stopping her despite Alana's summons and how unnecessary it would be to do so.

As her journey had progressed she had noted an apparent lack of anyone else around. That did not eliminate an ambush of course but she doubted that Mercury would not have heard the call which meant if something were to happen to her here Mercury would know. It was not the best option but it was better than when she had encountered Carrissi, and even that particular even had been better than prior events perhaps that would allow this one to follow the trend. Only time would tell though. Alana was close now though she couldn't see her just yet and knew that Alana would be unable to see her at present either so she prepared herself with a careful and well practiced expression of respectful neutrality to try and maintain diplomacy and the formality that seemed, at least on occasion, to make such a task easier. She was no great diplomat however merely one who got by so how well she would fair was a mystery at present.

It would be solved soon though perhaps as with just a few steps more the line of sight was cleared and they could see each other. She kept the neutral but respectful expression in place as she continued to close the distance between them but all the while she was watching, waiting, accessing whether she had missed something somewhere and was walking into a trap. There was nothing as yet but though she kept it well hidden from the constant practice such skills of stealth had gotten for so long, she remained ready and prepared to act if a trap should be sprung. For now though she had reached the spot that would be deemed as appropriate for her to stop at and did so.

As for waiting for Alana to speak first..well that could go either way, could be seen either way as it depended on far too many variables to count at present and while she was well aware already of how swiftly Alana could move such things along she supposed she would be the one to open the show this time. "You summoned me Majesty". She spoke in a tone as well practiced as was her expression, respectful and neutral and carefully phrased so as to not be a question, as it had been deemed improper etiquette to question a monarch, but nor was it proper, as had also been demonstrated, to state facts to them. It seemed monarchs, especially Nardir's current ones, were adverse to both statements and questions which meant diplomacy required both be avoided as much as possible lest it cause offense.

Which now left nothing but waiting for Alana's response, waiting to see how things would go this time now that she had been sent off to be bettered..only to return worse than she had been before. For one such as herself meant for nothing but to survive and destroy, trust was easily broken but not so easily regained.

[Alana]

It didn't take long for Ayliyra to show herself; Alana wasn't sure whether or not the motley woman would even show. She wouldn't have held it against Aylie, either, if she hadn't come. After what had happened, and by Alana's own orders.. the Queen shivered a little, swallowing dryly as seafoam gaze met teal. Ayliyra held herself respectfully, a neutral kind of expression on her face. She found herself wondering what was going through the recently-returned woman's mind, what her thought process was at that moment.

"You summoned me Majesty," Aylie said in a tone that was completely unlike what Alana remembered. She had always been a spitfire, a rebel to anything she didn't agree with - Aylie stuck to her personal morals, which Alana respected to an extent. This.. this was simply not her, and it made the matriarch uneasy. "Please, none of that is necessary. 'Alana' will do just fine," she said in a shaky voice. Alana didn't want Aylie to feel as though she had to act like that - Alana did not expect such things from her pack mates, not any more. Things had changed in Ayliyra's absence, but the Moon Queen liked to believe the changes were for the better. It was true that Alana had ruled Nardir from on-high for a long while, not mingling with her Nardiri as she should have been. That had hopefully change as well, or would be, one or the other.

"There's much to discuss," the opal and buttercream wolf began, letting a soft barely-audible sigh fall from her lips. "First, I.. I want to apologize to you. I did very wrong by you, sending you off and leaving you to fend for yourself. I'm.. so sorry, Ayliyra." Alana's voice was thick with emotion, unable to meet the other woman's gaze just yet. She couldn't imagine what Aylie had been through in her time out of Nardir. Her already-present frown deepened at the thought. Finally, sea-toned eyes rose and locked on to Aylie's, the Queen knowing she had to press on. "I don't know what I can do to make this right," Alana admitted truthfully. "But.. I'd like to try." In all of the time the other woman had been exiled, Alana had not been able to come to a decision. What was there to do, that could be done, to right such a terrible wrong?

Alana believed that Aylie had deserved punishment, that wasn't in question. How Alana had handled it, however.. that was a problem, one that she had tried her best to learn from. It was Aylie's turn to speak then, and hopefully the hickory-hued wolf would provide some useful insight. More than that, Alana hoped that she was okay, that the world had been at least somewhat kind to Aylie. If she never forgave Alana, it would hurt, but the matriarch would simply have to live with it - she deserved that punishment, and more. All the Queen could hope for was that Ayliyra could find peace within Nardir again and be happy - and the Moon Queen would do whatever she could to make that happen.

[Ayliyra]

She listened carefully noticing the tremulation of Alana's voice and wondering, though it didn't show, whether it was intentional perhaps as part of a ploy of some such meant to get rid of her, though there was still nothing that she could detect to indicate as such, or if it was the dim, flickerings of awareness. Awareness that things were no longer as they had been, and that if titles and other such things were ignored, the two of them were equals excepting that Alana had been born, according to her history lessons from Mercury who would certainly know, to loving parents and so had not been forced to fight for their survival as pups whereas she had not been so fortunate. "As you wish". She replied in the same neutral tone with a properly respectful dip of the head even as she remembered, could still hear the begging and pleading, the desperation of her brother's voice in her head just as she remembered the silence that had taken its place when his voice had ceased. It made it quite ironic that one of the things she had been accused of, and sentenced for, was not knowing what was necessary for the safety and protecting, for the survival of the pack when she had been all too well acquainted with such things before ever setting paw upon Nardirian soil.

How similar the words of a needed discussion were to times before of instances that had not gone well for her. The apology also was heard but she had heard apologies before, and just as Alana had once said of her being given so many chances, so it was true for apologies she had received that in the end had meant nothing though they had been similar to the one Alana made now for leaving her to fend for herself. Just as the others had said. They too apologized for leaving her to fend for herself, but oft had they also made excuses for doing so and even those who had not still provided her with nothing more than pretty words with no actions to provide proof of their sincerity. She had gotten no aide from anyone but had instead garnered their scorn and derision in abundance as the arrogance Alana had so flaunted had filtered down infecting so many others of the pack who in their arrogance had also become selfish a trait Alana too had also displayed.

They forsook Mercury's teaching of selflessness and had held those who still practiced those teaching in contempt deeming them worthless way of long gone monarch who, as time had proven, was not gone by choice but by force and because there were none with courage and loyalty enough to seek her out, to try and learn of her fate. Even her own sister who she now stood before had denied her request to search for Mercury calling it too great a risk to the pack and then sending out parties to search for survivors of an enemy pack that had faced odds greater than what should have been. Alana was just as much all over the place as she had accused her of being.

It left so many questions that could barely be asked let alone answered with mere words. No. There would need to be proof that Alana's words were than pretty ornaments set about to distract one from the cold. She would not allow herself to be ensnared by any attempts to reveal such however and so her reply would be carefully phrased. "Your apology is most gracious and your offer most generous, perhaps I might endeavor to return such kindness as I can, should it please you, by providing such as you desire". Yes, she had had not ignored or rejected the silken queen, neither had she used any titles but had also managed to avoid using the name, as it would be improper to do so without title, and she had still managed to maintain proper decorum and had neither asked anything nor stated anything any more than was a necessity leaving them largely open for Alana to do as she pleased with, as was proper, and had still managed to address all that had been put before her.

The words upon the rendering of the supposed verdict that had been exile had been that she needed to learn how to live in proper civil society and now one who was there, who had inescapably played a part as the queen, was now seeing first hand the results of what that proclamation, and so much time surviving on her own, had wrought.

[Alana]

The sight of Ayliyra made the snowy white and cream woman tense up, but whether it was from nervousness or guilt had yet to be discovered. The chaotic whirlpool of emotions thrashing about within her skull and chest were too distracting to pinpoint any specific feeling, but none of them were any kind of good. Alana inhaled deeply as the hickory and soot-spotted wolf approached, preparing herself for what was to come.

"Your apology is most gracious and your offer most generous, perhaps I might endeavor to return such kindness as I can, should it please you, by providing such as you desire."

The Queen frowned deeply, brows furrowing at the strange answer. Ayliyra had always given runaround replies that were hardly true answers, instead more like placeholder text that simply filled the void. These words were different, though, strange and mindlessly compliant. That worried Alana. If there was one thing Ayliyra was known for, it was being rebellious - immediate and unquestioning compliance was not. Had the wilds changed her so drastically? Had she been placated by Mercury's return? No - if anything, her sister's return would have emboldened Ayliyra. The matriarch knew how close Aylie had been to Mercury, knew that it was Mercury who Aylie believed should wear the crown - not Alana. After what had happened, Alana could not blame her for believing such. But then, Aylie had likely believed that all along, hadn't she? The Queen blinked the thoughts away, refocusing her mind.

Choosing not to address the odd behavior just yet, Alana pushed on - but kept her ears and eyes open. The entire situation felt wrong, but at that moment she didn't have a good enough grasp on it to justify bringing it up. "I want to know what happened during your exile.. if you wouldn't mind recounting it," the matriarch went on, seafoam gaze lingering on the other's face for a few moments before Alana looked away, focusing on the brittle long-grasses bending to and fro in the breeze. Knowing what Aylie had experienced during her time outside of Nardir would be helpful, especially towards helping Alana right the wrong she had committed. It hurt her to know that she had done that to Ayliyra; in the time since the other's exile, Alana had grown, or she liked to believe so.

She wished only to help, but that was looking to be a more difficult task than originally thought.

[Ayliyra]

The glitter queen frowned at her oh so nice and proper reply. If the situation were different, if she were different, she might have smirked with smug satisfaction rather than suppressing them as she always did, or at least almost always did, and kept the proper respectful expression in place. Though Alana being so unprepared for such an encounter, as though she had never thought it could happen, was rather tempting in a way as Alana, for all her claims otherwise, never really did think things through. Didn't really know when something was truly necessary.  That had been made quite apparent, at least to her, after the many decisions made that could have repercussions, much like her exile, years after the fact.

There it was a question, or rather an order worded as a question, she could have guess and had surmised would be coming. The pretty prancing princess, now of course the pretty prancing queen, wished for a report. Of course she did, for what else was someone who already had so much going to wish for except for more? But then she supposed all wished for such things she supposed and had been able to notice and observe as much during her explorations. It seemed especially true for the all powerful and all knowing leaders that presumed to know everything and yet constantly made it clear that they did not. Of course even Mercury did not know everything but Mercury was also intelligent enough to make determinations of her own based on reason and logic things which Alana still seemed to have no grasp or concept of unless the broadness of the would-be request was a test of some sort. She supposed she would have to assume as such given the situation but making assumptions was long since normal for her as so often that was all she had to go on was her assumptions. Of course she tried to make the best ones possible by utilizing whatever facts she had but when facts were lacking all she had was her experience which while it was no little amount it was hardly what she could or would, even with the amount she did have, call complete but she made do.

So she would start at the very beginning it was after all, a very good place to start. "Advisor Byakko and Regolith Bulan escorted me to the border where Advisor Byakko most dutifully summoned for assistance from the residents of Alchemilla. An individual arrived shortly after with a human type object over her face and inquired to what alliance was being referred to and stated that they were the new alpha of the lands and invited us in. Advisor Byakko accepted and we proceeded inside where he informed the new alpha that Nardir desired for me to be made into a functioning member of society. The alpha appeared rather enthusiastic about the arrangement and after a brief time Advisor Byakko and Regolith Bulan departed entrusting my care to the new alpha of Alchemilla". Her tone remained respectful as did her expression but she wondered if Alana saw it or if she was too naive or simply too uncaring or too stupid to see, to realize the danger there. Alchemilla had already been an ally that they had known very little about, and then to find a new alpha there who stated to having no knowledge of an alliance with Nardir that could have simply claimed to be of Alchemilla as Byakko had provided the name so openly..meant they could have been leaving her with any pack, even a hostile one, for all they knew without ever realizing it. Fortunately the pack had not been hostile but then..there had also been the blizzard which had disrupted everything so who was to say really?

"My hosts made every effort to make me feel welcome there, they gave me special quarters and I was almost constantly attended to by special guardians". Namely the guards who were supposed to make sure she didn't cause any trouble in their pack. "As time passed they seemed less concerned that I would become lost within their borders and so my guardians spent less and less time guiding me through areas which had been deemed safe for my stay. My time there may have continued on in the manner, though of course one such as myself can never be certain of that, except there was a terrible blizzard". And here she dutifully paused a moment as was proper before continuing with the report Alana so desire.

"It was a most unpleasant thing, and so very inconvenient. It made such a mess of things, dropping so much snow and ice that it was quite difficult for some to get out of their dens and entirely impossible for others. Of course even if one were able to leave their den trying to locate others dens under all that snow was quite a challenge and even when the dens could be located convincing those within to come out without breakfast in bed as an enticement was often rather..quite impossible". So many that had slept had never woken and never would again succumbing instead to hunger and cold. "It seemed to cause some of my hosts to become rather flustered and so upset they didn't seem to know what to do and those who were resting peacefully throughout could not be persuaded to help". She wondered if Alana had grasped yet what she was saying but..of course asking would hardly be diplomatic so she would simply continue with her nice, diplomatic recounting of the blizzard and the deaths it had caused.

"They seemed to have eventually made a decision of course as I was merely a guest I was not privy to what the decision was but I assume they decided to seek aide from those outside of their lands. Though who that might have been I am not certain but it must have been rather far away as they had not returned even by the time the blizzard was over. Perhaps if they had sought help from Nardir they would have returned sooner but then that would have been most inconsiderate of them I think, to ask help of Nardir after everything you were so kind enough to have already done for them". Which was nothing at all of course. It was a good thing she'd had so much practice at maintaining a role otherwise the cold scorn and sarcasm she was thinking her words in would be showing through by now instead of the calm respectfulness. Oh yes Alana, the pretty little light that always wanted more, that always took and never gave back and so many had paid the price for that a price that it was long since too late to even be able to repay.

And she was still only at the beginning...

((figured I would post the re-counting in increments rather than trying to do it all at once since it would be just..really long and..yeah))

[Alana]

Ayliyra launched into her answer without any resistance or question, which surprised the Queen. It should have been pleasing but considering everything that had happened between the two.. it simply wasn't. Alana's ears tilted back at the mention of Bulan, the late Regolith. She let the sadness fill her eyes; there was no shame in showing grief for those lost. As the matriarch listened, her expression grew from saddened to troubled and full of concern; a new alpha had greeted them, one who hadn't even known of the alliance? What had happened, and why had neither her Regolith or her Advisor thought to inform her of such strange circumstances? Though questions bubbled in her skull, Alana did not interrupt, listening raptly to Ayliyra's tale.

She spoke of guards and accommodations, of becoming lost in her wanderings of the territory of Alchemilla. A blizzard had hit the pack lands there, burying everything beneath snow and ice. The way Ayliyra spoke was confusing, and likely intentionally so knowing the hickory brown woman, but Alana deciphered her meaning well enough. A grimace formed on the white and cream wolf's muzzle, brows furrowing at the thought. That Ayliyra had had to witness such a thing, and almost fall prey to it herself.. Alana closed her eyes for a moment, settling her thoughts before looking to the other wolf once more.

"What happened to Alchemilla, in the end? When we returned to their territory, the pack had vanished. Was it the blizzard that ended them, or something else?" It had been quite a shock to find Alchemilla's land completely empty, and for what seemed like a very long while at that. Had one blizzard caused an entire pack to fall into the void? Ayliyra's comments on Alchemilla seeking aid from Nardir, and on what Nardir had done for Alchemilla, made the matriarch's brows furrow. It had occurred to Alana that Alchemilla had owed them nothing when they took in Ayliyra - it was a favor that had needed repaying, but Nardir never had. Alchemilla had fallen to nothingness before the Nardiri could settle their debts, and it left Alana with a feeling of heavy guilt that weighed her down like lead.

Choosing not to acknowledge the rebel woman's comments, Alana instead pressed for further information. "What happened after Alchemilla?" They had found Ayliyra in the neutral lands. What had happened in the time between leaving Alchemilla and being found by the Nardiri search party?

[Ayliyra]

She noted what appeared to be grief at the mention of Bulan, a scent she had not been able to detect here since her arrival, it might have warranted question in the past, and in a way it still did, but members vanishing and becoming lost was so common for Nardir, or had been before her exile, that she would just add it to the list of things that probably hadn't changed since she'd been gone. And there was a look of concern, or maybe it was just feigned concerned. Either way her respectful expression would be kept in place despite the rather cynical thoughts going through her mind. Then there was the furrowed brow..maybe just maybe Alana was capable of intelligent thought after all if she'd caught the meaning and understood what she was saying. She probably wasn't going to hold her breath though, just in case. Next Alana closed her eyes..well that was..unexpected seeing as how she, the villain of Nardir, was still here. She maintained her respectful composure but still snorted internally at the thought of having been called a danger to Nardir and especially to it's pups. Then Alana opened her eyes again and asked questions. Namely what happened to Alchemilla in the end and whether it had been the blizzard that had destroyed them or something else because apparently a blizzard wasn't serious enough to destroy a pack. She was so tempted to roll her eyes at that but refrained like a good, properly disciplined subordinate and instead listened with respectful gaze as Alana then asked what happened after Alchemilla. That was going to be trouble to answer to be sure and for more than one reason and she didn't know how well she'd be able to manage but that didn't mean she wouldn't still take a chance.

"I suppose it was the blizzard, though I wasn't given any formal information, of course I wasn't notified of any Nardirian messengers coming to check on me so it may have been forgotten about with the hail falling, be caught in the hail would have made it rather easy to forget about something as trivial as an individual from another pack residing within their borders regardless of any messengers from that pack being present I think". Of course she rather doubted any one had ever been sent to check on her when it had been made quite clear several times before that Nardir thought of her as expendable. "Of course there is a chance it was due to the rather spoiled prey that seemed to have the notion that a lack of food and water they didn't have to dig for was reason to leave the marshes and they simply would not listen to reason perhaps if there had been a more experienced diplomat present the prey could have been convinced to stay, but I don't think it's possible to know for sure, locating those specific individuals to ask them might be rather difficult". Was Alana really getting the picture here? There had been no food, no water really either, and she had been left there to fend for herself watching everyone die around her all by royal decree.

"The numbers seemed to grow less and less with fewer being available to help search for anyone missing, especially when the spurts of hail occurred, eventually was the only one left within the lands or rather I seemed to be the only one left. There had been concern earlier that those caught unexpectedly by any flare ups might have ended up outside of the borders and gotten lost. I could not locate anyone to speak to and in such circumstances the sooner a search can be made the better the outcome of it so I've been told anyway so I ventured out of Alchemilla's borders to search for anyone injured. In the course of my search I ran across another pack and thought it possible that an injured Alchemillian may have sought shelter from the weather within their lands so I waited upon their border until individuals from the land came to greet me. They seemed not entirely honest or friendly, though of course that is to be expected I suppose given the circumstances of course, they must have been rather quite worried to have someone arrive on their border inquiring if they might have seen the missing members of a another pack. I persuaded them to answer by offering to stay within their lands until they could determine if the missing members were there, it was rather difficult to get them to accept". Yes she had made a deal, trading herself to try and ensure the safety of those Alana and the rest of Nardir had seen fit to abandon..though Alana probably didn't care about that. No. Probably all Alana was going to care about was the fact that she had disobeyed orders after all in Alana's world obeying orders was more important than saving lives, especially if there was a risk involved in saving them.

"I did not stay there long, when the weather broke their entire pack fled along with the rest of the marshland packs, I suppose the weather and spoiled prey and frozen water along with the hail was too much of a challenge for them". She wondered if Alana had stopped to think about that, that every pack in the marshes had fled after the blizzard that she'd been forced to face essentially by herself. "I returned to Alchemilla's land and waited for word for Nardir but..perhaps in all the chaos and shuffle it was..overlooked". Yeah okay that was probably a bit less diplomatic but her respectful expression hadn't changed nor had her tone but..."I watched the other packs leave and learned what I could but of course they were so concerned for the safety of their packs, the higher ranks yelling at subordinates, youths and pups complaining of being cold, hungry, and tired to do as they were told and obey orders or else that I didn't wish to interrupt and cause them further difficulties than they already had with all those ungrateful things who were complaining about the conditions and disobeying orders and making their whole pack look unseemly in the process". Did she see? Did she remember? She doubted it and even then Alana would likely still find a way to justify her actions then as well as theirs, orders were orders after all, no matter what they were or were in regard to.

"Eventually there didn't seem to be any packs left in the marsh and there still had been no word from Nardir, at least none I was aware of, I sought for any Alchemillian's as I didn't have authority to make a determination myself on whether I had acquired discipline enough to live in a proper civilized society but I hadn't been able to locate any even by the time the floods came". And Alana's own words and Julek's as well would be repeated back to her now..as she had remembered them and their sting, the pain and hurt they'd caused even after all that time just she remembered them even now..words neither Alana nor Julek would ever be able to take back.

"The floods made it rather difficult to stay in place for long as the water level constantly changed location and height and I somehow managed to find myself on Nardir's territory that was..rather long since vacant...". And here she would pause with the statement rather hanging in air which was not exactly diplomatic but it was probably more diplomatic than what she was thinking so...

[Rieal]

((so..small nudge I guess as I would really like to continue this and there is the board clean-up thing that is now a thing))

[Alana]

The tale grew worse and worse as Ayliyra spoke, the Queen taking in the information with a solemn expression laid upon her face. Alchemilla had fallen to disorder and to the elements - but who was Alana to speak of order? She had not kept things in check as well as she could have, had she? A forgetful woman -- or perhaps instead a woman who did not wish to face a monumental difficultly such as the stubborn Ayliyra. The girl was unpredictable and volatile. Alana knew how to deal with children when they threw tantrums and refused to comply with given instruction. Why couldn't it be as simple as putting Aylie in the time-out corner?

Alana's seafoam gaze settled on Ayliyra as the other canine left the statement hanging in the air open-ended. Did she expect Alana to feel badly for moving Nardir to a better place in Ayliyra's absence? Selfishness, pure and simple. And yet, Alana knew the sting of loss, that feeling of being left behind - she had felt in in Mercury's absence and most recently, in Julek's. The circumstances were different, but loss was loss. She would not apologize for leading her people to a more fitting land. Leaving Ayliyra behind in the turmoil was something she had already spoken her piece for - she would not beg for forgiveness.

"Julek secured this land for us," the lace-white and cream Queen said, casting her gaze about their surroundings for a moment, drinking in the view. If she had known things would go south so near in the future, perhaps she would have taken a few more moments to appreciate it.

"Anything else you feel worth mentioning?" Alana left the question open to whatever interpretation Ayliyra gave it; was there something knocking around in Aylie's head that the spotted rebel felt important enough to say? Were there words Aylie would have Alana hear that came from a more personal perspective? The Queen knew that the wolf before her had a very low opinion towards Alana. Her own outlook on Ayliyra was none too bright, plagued with doubts and suspicions and the constant question of 'what next?'

Guilt did plague the lilypetal woman, but it was something she had come to live with. Acknowledging her mistakes -- that was part of growing as both a Queen and a person. She could not always be right, but there was never a time when Alana had believed such foolishness. She had grown up watching her parents make mistakes, her siblings, and watched as they learned from those mistakes. She, in turn, learned from those lessons herself, ever the observant creature. It seemed to Alana that Ayliyra was still learning those lessons - and that she had very far to go.

However, it was her duty as Queen of the Nardiri to lead her people, all of her people. Ayliyra had chosen to return to Nardir, knowing what she was likely returning to. After a public trial and temporary exile, it was unlikely the spotted canine had expected a positive reception upon arrival. If Ayliyra was willing to return, even with that knowledge and the deep-seeded resentment she bore towards the Queen, Alana had a duty to help. Stripped of her title, Alana still felt the pull to help the stubborn girl; she had wronged her terribly, and wished only to help set things right.

[Ayliyra]

She kept her expression calm and neutral while inwardly she felt..disgust? Or was it merely disdain at the lack of emotion on Alana's part. Not that it should surprise her all things considered but still. Of course she wasn't entirely sure the earlier display of emotion was even genuine so perhaps this was the answer. Perhaps the emotion was simply feigned after all. Perhaps as a way to try and smooth things over. It would take far more than a simple apology to make a difference with er though. She was all too familiar with apologies that ended up being nothing more than hollow words and empty placations and she had long since stopped falling for such things as a result of those unpleasant experiences. Alana would have to work, would have to earn her respect and, perhaps in time, her trust and possibly forgiveness. That would not be done lightly though as she did not forget or forgive easily.

Alana's statement that Julek had gotten this land was hardly surprising, she had already considered it a possibility herself, though she did wonder if maybe Alana has some other reason for saying it. A threat? A warning? Either were possible and neither really mattered. If Julek was power hungry Mercury was here to help deal with it, and if the issue still lay with Alana, well..unlike Mercury if it became necessary she was perfectly willing to face Alana in combat just as she was willing to face Julek or if need be she'd take them on at once or however many as need be to make sure Mercury could escape..if it came to that. She doubted it would though, but she would still be ready just in case. She did not allow any of these thoughts to cross her face though, that would hardly be wise and would likely be counter productive to her goals of waiting, watching and assessing. She wanted to find out where things actually stood, or get as close to it as possible, before deciding on whether or not to do anything. Mercury was likely doing the same thing.

Then a question that, whether Alana realized it or not which was hard to say, was a rather loaded one. She was well aware that she was unlikely to be trusted by any within the packlands, aside from Mercury, and divulging the rest of her story..while Mercury had not been upset by it she wasn't sure the same could be said for others, for Alana, particularly if they realized what it meant she was capable of. However she couldn't ignore the fact that not divulging the rest could be viewed in just as bad a light or perhaps worse. If she knew of the potential for Nardir to have trouble and didn't mention it there would certainly be questions of whether or not she had intended it that way if anything unfortunate did befall the pack. And of course it was also possible that Mercury either had already informed Alana or would tell her at some point of the information she had provided in her report and which meant it could reflect badly on Mercury is she didn't say anything here. That settled it.

"After finding Nardir's land empty and not knowing where Nardir had gone or if it even still existed after such a severe storm and with the floods making the marshes uninhabitable I began searching for any other Nardirians as I could. I searched in the unclaimed lands but with Nardir's history I was concerned about the possibility of Nardirians being taken captive by any with reason to be hostile towards them, including packs. I had some knowledge of healing and also had my knowledge of how a pack works and my observations of what was deemed desirable regarding individuals at the border and used those things combined to pose as a wandering healer to packs I came across and to convince them to allow me into their lands for temporary residence". She said carefully watching for any reaction from Alana though she kept her expression and tone respectful.

"I did not find any Nardirians being held in any of the packs I visited but I learned quite a bit about healing methods...". Of course she had learned other things as well but that was already implied and she was still watching to see how Alana would react because unless Alana was the stupidest creature ever, which she doubted, it was probably dawning on Alana, if it hadn't already, that typically the only ones capable of granting permission for temporary stays within a packs land were those of high ranks, particularly the leaders, which she had been able to successfully convince of her being a healer which were not usually viewed as capable fighters..and she was one. She was a capable fighter that had slipped right past all of the leaders of those lands by knowing all the right things to say making her a capable spy..and also a potentially capable assassin.

Which of course was why she was watching Alana so carefully. Once Alana realized that, with her history, she wasn't sure how Alana would react even though she had no intention of doing anything like that to the white queen or the king and had not, at least in her opinion, done anything that could be deemed as threatening as all she had been doing, at least until now, had been staying near Mercury. But she supposed she was about to find out whether Alana saw her honesty and stating of facts as a threat or as a demonstration of her loyalty in the fact that she could have removed Alana and Julek both from the throne long ago via less than honorable means but even after all they had to her had chosen not to. She had remained a loyal Nardirian using her skills to try and aide and protect Nardir from without instead of trying to cause harm to those within.

[Alana]

"After finding Nardir's land empty and not knowing where Nardir had gone or if it even still existed after such a severe storm and with the floods making the marshes uninhabitable I began searching for any other Nardirians as I could. I searched in the unclaimed lands but with Nardir's history I was concerned about the possibility of Nardirians being taken captive by any with reason to be hostile towards them, including packs. I had some knowledge of healing and also had my knowledge of how a pack works and my observations of what was deemed desirable regarding individuals at the border and used those things combined to pose as a wandering healer to packs I came across and to convince them to allow me into their lands for temporary residence."

Alana listened as the other spoke of wondering about Nardir's state of being, and how Ayliyra had used her skills to gain entry into foreign lands. The girl certainly had a way of drawing out her explanations, didn't she? Alana couldn't decide how she felt about the situation. To the Queen, it seemed simpler to just ask the packs she came across about Nardir. They were a friendly nation that had brushed shoulders with many packs over the years. Surely another successful pack friendly enough to allow a 'wandering healer' into their gates would be open to the idea of helping a lost person find their home. As usual, though, Ayliyra had chosen her own, more difficult path.

"I did not find any Nardirians being held in any of the packs I visited but I learned quite a bit about healing methods."

The Queen sighed, seafoam eyes dulling with sadness as Aylie spoke of finding no lost Nardirians. It was something she had expected, but it still hurt to hear it. While the knowledge of new methods piqued Alana's interest, there were more important things to discuss first. The lilywhite canine had questions.  "Why lie? Why not simply ask for assistance in finding your way to Nardir?" It seemed like the most obvious answer. Nardir had very few enemies; Alana did not know much of Saboro, but from the tales she had heard they were not exactly the type to allow visitors. Ayliyra wouldn't have been reckless enough to let herself get caught up in a place of violence, would she? No, Alana didn't believe so, but then.. she had been surprised before. Perhaps Ayliyra had felt as though she wouldn't be welcomed back - and with how Aylie had left, a rebellious girl disowned from her family after bearing her throat and telling Alana to kill her before being exiled to Alchemilla.. well, Alana couldn't blame her.

"What packs did you gain entry to?" the woman asked, shifting her weight from right to left side. If Ayliyra had expected some grand reaction to the reveal of her visits to other packs, she would be very disappointed. There was a way to learn about other cultures, and it certainly wasn't through deceit, not if one could help it. A part of Alana was disappointed that Ayliyra had chosen the route she had, lying to gain entry into other packs. It was resourceful, but there were better ways to accomplish such things. Was this an attempt to boast of her accomplishments, her infiltration of various packs? Alana considered this for a moment, mulling over the implications before tossing them aside. The Queen was not afraid, nor did she believe herself or her husband in any danger. Alana was confident in her own abilities; she was no longer the fragile princess she had once been. She was a Queen now, and had witnessed her fair share of battles, tutored in combat by one of the finest warriors to ever come from the violent nation of Old Bacchus - her husband, her blazing sun, Julek. If Ayliyra thought for a moment that was was a threat, she was mistaken.

Alana didn't believe the rebel meant either she or Julek actual harm, at least not yet. With Mercury back in Nardir, it was doubtful that Aylie would do anything that could make Mercury see her in a bad light. Aylie looked up to Mercury as her mentor, almost idolizing Alana's dark sister. Ayliyra had used comparisons between the sisters as insults against Alana before, always believing Alana to be lesser, unfit to rule for her own selfish reasons. Ayliyra's bitterness towards her was based on bias towards Mercury. It left a sour taste in the Queen's mouth, but that was simply a personal grievance that Alana would deal with on her own. The matter at hand was more important. Although Alana didn't quite agree with the rebel's methods, even she had to admit that Ayliyra had likely gained valuable information during her stay, if only in the form of new medical knowledge. Alana doubted that the packs housing Aylie had divulged any great secrets. Ayliyra had been doing what she believed was right though, and with the interests of the lost Nardirians in mind as well. Alana had to commend her for that. "You did well in handling yourself out there." The rebel had found safety within established packs that even allowed her to share in their knowledge of healing. Aylie had done well, even despite the few unsavory choices.

[Ayliyra]

Well there was no explosive response from Alana the way she thought there might have been which was good she supposed as it made unlikely that Alana saw her as an immediate threat. Of course she also wasn't going to assume that Alana didn't see her as a threat at all, not with so much history between them. The question or questions though well, she wasn't exactly surprised that there were questions being asked those particular ones..There was no help for it though she supposed they were questions that required an answer although she didn't think Alana was going to like the answer in store. "I was concerned about the possibility of Paradox having been rebuilt or of perhaps having had allies that would likewise be hostile towards anyone with a connection to Nardir. I likewise considered the possibility of packs being hostile towards Nardir's allies and thus Nardir by extension. As well I ran into others in the neutrals that spoke of slavers and slaver packs who made themselves seem friendly towards strangers in order to lure them in only to take them prisoner and keep them as slaves". She continued to study Alana closely as Paradox was mentioned given the issues that particular subject had caused in the past.

"If I had come across anything of the kind, while certainly not a guarantee, posing as a wanderer rather than Nardirian and a wandering healer at that would have provided a better chance to rescue any Nardirian prisoners who might have have been injured or slaves that might have been being held if it were needed as healers tend to be overlooked and underestimated regarding ability and willingness to fight which meant it would be more likely for my skills as a fighter to be underestimated making it safer and easier for me to move about without anyone being too concerned or worried about my doing so and it would have been easier for me to take any guards by surprise and to gain time to allow others to flee hopefully without too many being prepared to pursue". Which of course was a definite benefit when dealing with numbers, one needed as much of an advantage as one could get. Of course while she had been thinking of how to rescue others when she had been investigating she had also been thinking of her own safety, at least to extent and added as such. "It would have also provided a better chance for me to escape myself if they thought fewer numbers would be needed to prevent me from escaping due to my being a healer". Which of course tied in with her previos statement regarding rescues. If it was thought she and any she attempted to rescue were unable or unwilling to fight and sent fewer guards as a result it made it much more likely for a rescue or an escape to be successful.

As for the other question asked, that also bore the need to watch Alana for reactions. "I gained entrance into a pack in a desert like land called Ukoo which had only two seasons, wet and dry. I was informed of an ally of theirs, a cat pride called Stoneclaw, and gained entry there as well. When I arrived at Stoneclaw though it was after a massive fire and when I inquired about it I was told about beasts wielding fire, and that there was no love for wolves or other canines and that it was my being a healer and a wanderer with the recommendations of Ukoo that was allowing me entry". She wondered if Alana saw the significance of this, if the same thing occurred to the white queen that had occurred to her the instant it had been spoken, that Stoneclaw's land might have been set on fire by one of Nardir's allies, making that a very dangerous place to be even for, or perhaps especially for, an exiled Nardirian who could not count on her safety even being bartered for if they had been aware of Nardir's alliance with fire wielding packs. Of course those were not the only packs she'd managed to gain entry into so she would continue with her list.  

"After I left there I came across a part of travelers from a pack called Gemini and learned from one of their party that the desert pack Sicher, an ally of Nardir's at one point I believe, had fallen due to a natural disaster. The Gemini party offered to allow a visit in their land but that they were also looking for information but wouldn't say what sort until their lands were reached. As I didn't know what sort of information they wanted or what sort of information they might have had I went with them. When I arrived and remained in the portion of land they had specified as being for guests but while I was exploring that area I came across a large barrier of rocks and stones stacked upon one another at quite a height and when I walked along it I came across a gap in the stone work likely an entry into the inner part of the pack's territory and there were skulls being displayed there". She thought about pausing to let Alana think on that, skulls being on display at the entrance to the inner part of the pack, not because a pack not wanting strangers into certain areas was unusual as there were likely even areas that Nardir wouldn't want strangers to go but Nardir didn't mark those locations with skulls. Peaceful packs did not, as far as she knew, mark places that were off limits with the remains of the dead and while she had gotten out, as was quite obvious by her standing here, there had certainly been a risk in being in and investigating such a place.

However while she had considered pausing after providing that bit of info she instead continued onward. "There was another pack I was not told the name of it and wasn't able to stay as long there as the others. The one who gave permission for the arrangement did not provide their name nor the other who had been there first. And while I can not be sure I believe the one who granted permission was more than a sentry as the one who first greeted me was asking questions the way a sentry would and when the other arrived the sentry like one went silent immediately and I was given permission to enter by the new arrival and no one contested my stay in the entire duration of it". Which in her experience meant a high rank, and it was being concealed, but for what reason she didn't know. "I'm not sure if that pack still exists or not as they seemed to be having difficulties as well but when I proposed returning after learning new skills elsewhere the offer was declined as being unnecessary but that should it be decided otherwise I would be found and brought back to them". Another risk she had taken and another reason that she had kept her connection to Nardir secret. If she had been being hunted she wanted to avoid leading any hunters back to Nardir. Whether Alana would spot and realize the possibility of that happening, would realize how much of a risk there had been and the lengths she'd gone to in order to prevent Nardir from potentially being in danger from the unknown pack she didn't know but..

"Some of the other packs also seemed to be struggling so whether they still remain is also uncertain but as their names are known it shouldn't be too difficult to find out. The rest of my time was either spent on my own studying herbivores in an area to see what plants they ate and which they avoided so as to gauge what plants might possibly be useful for carnivores and which were likely to be especially toxic for my own experimentations or I was with other loners, either those needing assistance or others who knew healing and I made trades with both with the healers providing healing knowledge and my patients providing whatever knowledge they had, usually about whether slavers or something similar frequented the area or not but occasionally other useful bits of information were provided". Which she supposed it perhaps seemed wrong to make such trades, to try to get something from those in need of a healer rather than doing it for free but knowing whether or not to expect unsavory types to be around was just as beneficial to the ones she was helping as it was to her as it let her know what sort of precautions to take to keep not just herself safe but them as well.

"Then I found Mercury in the unclaimed lands along with one who had belonged to the pack whose representative had spoken to Julek regarding an alliance. The pack had apparently fallen but the individual had recent enough news of Nardir to provide a direction to go in to possibly locate Nardir and so Mercury and I proceeded to do so and eventually ran into the search party and were led here". And that was all there was really or at least that was the general way things had gone after all if she provided detailed accounts of every interaction with every individual she had encountered it would take far longer than even this had taken and it would also be..much more problematic regarding certain instances so hopefully what she had provided would suffice especially as even with just this Alana seemed to be..complimenting her saying she had handled herself well. And really she had to agree. She'd had essentially nothing but knowledge to use, and had managed to get in and out of more than one pack without having a pack that would come rescue her if she needed it. Everything she'd accomplished regarding those arrangements..had been accomplished on her own. She, a lone wolf, convincing packs that she was worth making a deal with when normally the only thing a pack would considered as worth making such a deal with..would be another pack but she had convinced them otherwise.

Now with the proper nod of Thanks at the compliment given all there was left to do was wait.