actions - “speech” - thoughts
Sleep was not an easy thing for her since she treated Valefor... The nightmares had been returning and getting worse and worse, especially now that she was sleeping alone again. Fuck. Cider wasn't normally one to take drugs to sleep but, she'd needed them tonight and even so....
She was laying on her side, legs kicking as if she were running, face contorted in a fearful grimace. Running, running, in her nightmare, she was running... She was a child again and on her voyage, out in the neutrals and with Raikov, Manta, and Vashe. Laughing it up with Manta and exploring while Raikov and Vashe kinda did their thing. It was normal and yet.... The shadows came.
Shadow wolves surrounded them, three she could remember clear as day. It was hard to forget Ezekiel's face, he was with them in Tortuga for so long. Valefor was there and of course the Green-eyed Devil, Grendel. Not that she knew his name but, he was there and she was scared. Cider ran and ran, through the trees and as fast as she could.
The monsters were after her and the others but, it was odd. As she ran she was growing up, Manta vanished from the path, Raikov pulled way ahead and out of danger, Vashe was still ahead of her and safer but, he seemed to keep himself from safety. It was her fault.... Soon enough, Vashe was way ahead and she was left on her own running from the monster of a wolf.
Soon the fires kicked in and still, she was being chased, through the flame and destruction of her home until she was on the edge of the verge. She was cornered and with no way to escape. The Green-eyed Devil lunged with a mighty leap, jaws closing in around her throat and that's when she woke up to the sound of her own scream.
Cider lay there, eyes wide, jaws parted, chest heaving. What if that monster came for Valefor? What if they couldn't fight off the demon? What if when they did come, what if they finally ended up stealing her away....? She was on her paws and pacing about the large cave she called her den, muttering to herself and just really freaking out. Had she woken anyone up? Oh gods, what if someone thought something bad had happened...?
Basil.
She needed basil. Needed to calm the fuck down. There were no monsters lurking in the shadows. There was nothing out to get her. Out to get them. No monsters, only the paranoia of a scared little girl who had been asleep for a long, long time. Cider walked out into the garden and swiftly sniffed out her plant, her much needed basil and she plucked quite a few leaves and began to slowly chew on them. They tasted like shit at first but, soon she began getting used to it, used to the bitter taste.
She plucked more leaves and then began walking. She had no idea where she was going, she was only moving, walking, needed to get out, get away, find something to help her relax.... Find someone... Maybe.... Why was she even alone? What had she done wrong? Why did Koma vanish? Manta? Was she not good enough to be with someone? Was it because she so often threw herself into her work and didn't socialize like most others?
A drink.
That would help.... Right....?
Riiiiiiiiiiiiiiight......?
Cider continued on her walk, heaving out to the Blind Watchman, maybe there would be someone slumming around the bar this late. There usually was. She made her way toward the direction of the bar, jumping at every little sound, her blue gaze still holding a bit of fear, it was strange for some to see her like this, worrying for others who had been around to see her at her worst, still some might find this spooked side amusing at least for a short while.
Cider finally made it to the tavern and wasted no time in helping herself to a good strong drink, gulping down the toxic liquid greedily. She came up for air so to say, licking her lips, looking around the tavern. Huh.... Quiet night. Cider moved to one of the fur lounging rugs and settled down, letting out a soft sigh. She was ok, everything was going to be ok... Right...? It was just a nightmare... It was just a bad dream.
She wanted a hug....
She wanted comfort.
She didn't want to be alone.
She wanted someone to be there for her, with her, to share her love of plants and crafting with them.
She kinda sorta wanted to see Veruah.