[Tallow]

Winter had taken a temporary turn for the warmer. The untimely thaw brought both perks and downfalls. The warmer weather brought more prey poking around on the surface, a welcome treat for the thinning predators. But, as the scene played out, there was danger.

The river near the tree root den started to thaw. Jagged shards of ice started to race across the surface. The pileups worked like a beaver stacking logs and soon the snowy woodland found itself in freezing flood. Tallow's temporary home, thankfully, was far enough away not to be affected by the jams. With time the water had receded, leaving ice covered pools that the wolf now tread carefully across. She scented the deer first and the more she traveled the clearer it's distress calls became. She would not turn down an easy meal.

The wolf spotted the target soon enough. The deer, it seemed, fell on some bad luck trying to cross the river. Wide eyed, the only part of the deer visible was her head and flailing front legs. It was trapped in the ice jam. Tallow considered the scene. It wouldn't take long for the hapless creature to pass. That would certainly be easier than dragging it out in a panic. Wolves, as a rule, cared little for the feelings of their food. But perhaps some mercy, along with wanting to eat soon, spurred on the decision to help the deer along. Avoiding the flailing hooves the dire grabbed it's neck and forced its head underwater. It became difficult to hold on for a while, but soon the deer stilled.

The drowning was the easy part. With heaving growls Tallow worked to pull the carcass from the ice. With a lot of work she succeeded. Panting she looked over her prize. This would feed her for a few days at the very least. It wasn't until then that she caught scent of another. It was Tallow's turn to freeze this time. Could this be an interloper here to take her spoils?

"I'm willing to share with you," Her voice was quiet, and perhaps the gravely tone made her sound inadvertently aggressive. Tallow was alert, but ready to compromise. She started to turn to face whoever was behind her. Even on her own she was formidable but if conflict could be avoided all the better, "If you're willing to be civil."

[Udessa]

Somehow, it seemed like the numbing cold of winter made her hurt less. In so many ways, it dulled her hunger pains, her body seeming to understand the lean times of the short days and cold weather. Also, the cold entangled her heart and quieted her mind. The wolfess could sleep better at night and bear the days easier. In all reality the season had placed her in a more dormant state, a depressed state. Her body was able to cope with the empty stomach since she barely used any energy. Kept herself, day after day, in the same tree hollow, mostly enveloped in sleep.

Now winter lapsed in its thick grasp, and it pained her. Udesssa grew hot in her tight ball snuggly in the decaying inside of the tree. Stubbornly, not wanting to face the reality that laid outside of her quiet alcove, she kept put. Her nose was buried under hip, her striped tail laid across her forehead. Her commitment to remain was then tested by the goddess herself. From above the ice of the tree began to melt from the increased temperature paired with the blazing sun. At first the droplets fell around her, but slowly the stream from above honed in on her and started to dab down on the back of her neck.

Unyielding she gritted her teeth and groaned, it was like a sleepy pup that the mother’s adamant tongue kept licking. Deeper her head wiggled until her nose peaked out from behind her rear hock. The dripping now hitting her shoulders, a little easier to deal with. Thinking that she had won she relaxed, telling herself that the cold pool building on her shoulder blades was actually soothing. Athena would not let her pupil believe she had won, the goddess was an immortal GOD after all. The melted water continued on her shoulders until it streamed down, but a new drip dotted Udessa’s exposed nose. Now she whined, admitting the defeat. Slowly she pulled her head out from under hip. “Yes my goddess,” she softly uttered looking up into the dark of the tree above her, “I’ll obey.”  just then another droplet fell from the roof above her and down a nostril. Startled, she sneezed and backed her way out of the tree hollow.

Scrubbing her nose with a paw she tried to alleviate the burn. Now it was her stomach’s turn to assault her. Prongs of pain cramped her ribs, causing her to bow her spine up. Shakily, weak muscles trying their best to keep her off the ground, she straitened herself up and tried to get her bearing. The thrashing of the ice on the stream near by rocketed through the empty woods. The whole landscape trying to breathe now, winter suppressed life like a murder with hands tightly wrapped around a windpipe, and it seemed like at this moment that psychopath was rethinking their choice of choking life to the brink of complete death. Beyond the normal creaking, snapping, and crashing of ice floats on the water, came a more frantic splashing, accompanied by the terrified bellows of a deer. Exactly what her body needed, an easy meal.

Udessa was fully aware that if she knew of the distressed animal, so did every predator of the woods, so she was careful on her approach. Keeping quiet and keeping cover she slowly made her approach to the scene of the terror. On the pile of the broken ice stood a wolf, looking down at the frantic animal. The other then reached out, clamped on the animal, and held it under the cold water of the clear stream. She kept her cover and continued to watch the theatrical act play out before her, Mr. Poe himself would be proud to watch such a scene. It didn’t take long for the already exhausted animal to slow down on its thrashing until its limbs fell and never rose again.

The stranger kept her jaws locked on the neck and began to heave the animal from the stream. Udessa was quite marveled by the power of the stout dire wolf. It took effort, but she did manage to get the limp carcass from the stream and onto dry ground. It was then the winds stirred and betrayed her, leaves rustled behind her and danced over her scruffy and dirty pelt. Her eyes went wide as she knew the jeopardy that she was now placed into. With her scent carried onto the breeze, the other grew still.

"I'm willing to share with you," the other spoke. Still her heart raced, and adrenaline dumped into veins. "If you're willing to be civil." Her legs shook, her body almost couldn’t handle the hormones that it itself had released. The other would approach her if she wanted to get any response from Udessa. Her weak, starved body wavering like the last leaf on a fall tree.

[Tallow]

Once Tallow fully took in the stranger she was immediately taken aback. Firstly, this creature was colored like the autumn sunset, colors near forgotten in the icy landscape. And secondly, while the maned female was considerably taller than herself it seemed it would take very little to fell a creature in such a state. Not that she would. The wolf looked as though the winter had been far less kind to her, eyes as hollow as her belly must be. Tallow looked on with an even expression. Compassion lead her to want to invite the stranger over, to tend to the wilted wolf. But logical understood. Logic knew that this was a grown wolf, more than capable of getting at least some food even in these unforgiving conditions. Something here was wrong. She was sick, mentally or physically, and Tallow could not afford an affliction or attack.

"The offer remains." the dire chose her words and movements carefully, not lifting her head as grey eyes continued to watch for any sudden movements. She tried to take a deep breath, still winded from dragging out the deer, but only managed to cough, "Looks like you could use some food."

From there the wolf would tear into the carcass and start to eat, keeping both eye and ear on her audience. Surely such a performance would surely illicit her clearly empty belly to action. Despite the freshness Tallow found it hard to enjoy her meal. The munching stopped and she locked eyes with the skeleton again, licking the blood from her maw. She sighed, knowing well she could be inviting a heap of trouble into her life but unable to fully ignore her heart. Tallow tore into the haunch until she had a decent chunk removed. With a heave of her head she lobbed it to the bystander.

"Take it." She croaked, " I won't bite. Without reason."

[Udessa]

"The offer remains." the stranger muttered between staggered breaths, expectedly she had exhausted some energy over heaving the dead weight of the corpse from the river. "Looks like you could use some food." the cough trailing off her last words snapped in Udessa’s ears. She had been looking through the other more then really at her. Bringing her attention truly on the other she took a more submissive posture, her tail that had previously been held at spine level drooped and sagged between her hocks. Her ears then laid back, sight dropped away from the steely eyes of the other, and head dropped bellow her shoulders.

Not only did she want to take her up on the offer, she needed, rather had, to. Then the other sank her teeth into the animal and began to consume the flesh. The crunching, gnawing, and even swallowing filled Udessa’s fractured brain. Her primal need to fill her stomach clouded her thoughts. Seemed as if her eyes had glazed over, body went numb, but her rationale fought hard against this blind ignorance. She could not lose her wits just because the smell of fresh blood filled her nostrils. In this situation she was closer to the prey end of the food chain then the predator, if this other wolf so chooses to rip her to pieces, her frail body wouldn’t stand a chance. Still she couldn’t help her mouth falling open and saliva stringing off the tip of her tongue as she panted, her feral mind fighting with the sensible mind.

Again her eyes were on the other, but she wasn’t truly looking at her. Eyes glazed over as she fought internally, so it wasn’t noticed that the other wolf had worked loose a portion of the deer’s thigh and had tossed it in Udessa’s direction. "Take it. I won't bite. Without reason."

It was then that it felt like she was out of her own body watching some other skeleton of a wolf launch forward and begin to tear into the meat. With paws grasping the venison, she ripped and pulled on the muscle, split off a piece and began to choke it down. Her body was so frantic to consume, all formalities and etiquette dissipated. It didn’t take long for her to get the meat into her belly, her rationale slowly came back, and sight befell on the other wolf again. Keeping herself low she would slowly and submissively crawl nearer to the wolf. She wanted more, saliva and blood dripped from her mouth, again panting, adrenaline still pumping feverishly in her body, but she was able to cling to her smarts. She was still at the mercy of the owner of the carcass.

With a shiver of excitement, she would bring herself even closer, slowly and carefully rise from the ground. All her posture would scream submission, tail tucked to her belly, ears laid back, eye contact brief and quick to divert. Once within reaching distance she would reach her muzzle out and clasp the deer’s rear leg in her mouth, and using what energy she had, she would pull the hip open and expose the soft under belly for the other wolf. The prize of any kill was the liver and Udessa would take place of a good omega and assist the dominate wolf in acquiring that tasty organ. This wolf had shown her kindness, and she wanted to repay the favor.

[Tallow]

It was hard, come to find out, to enjoy a meal with a seemingly crazed beast staring and slathering yards away. Tallow wasn't in want, well, no more than a wild animal could be. Winter was never kind, it was her skills and determination that kept her alive this season. Tallow couldn't help but jump as the stranger leapt on the offering. There was no way to tell what she would leap on next. Grey eyes narrowed preparing for the worse. Well done, she thought to herself, looks what you've invited to dinner.

But as the creature looked up it again there seemed to be a change. Still wild, still silent, but unless Tallow's senses were playing a trick on her there seemed to be life shining back at her. Not much, but enough to smooth her hackles. She then proceeded to crawl forward, groveling the whole way. The dire sighed. She certainly didn't think her warnings warranted such fear. Perhaps it was the perpetual gravel in her voice, perhaps this feral thing thought she had raised her ire. She did suppose that if a feral beast reacted to you, a non threatening reaction is the best you could ask for.

The stranger lifted herself out of the snow, if only but a little. Tallow took a small step back, not surrendering her meal but giving the other space in case they lashed out. But instead they maneuvered the carcass around before pausing. Did this wolf return the gift that was given? Fortunately regifting in the wolf world was not as taboo as others.

"Uh, thanks." Tallow would play along. She stepped back forward and tore into the belly, steam rising from what little heat was left in the body. Taking a few good mouthfuls she resigned to sitting, "Go ahead. Have what you want." Whether or not the stranger dived in or not the dire would reach out, see exactly what was remained in her mind, "I'm Tallow. Who are you?"

[Udessa]

"Uh, thanks." Quietly Udessa looked back into the imposing wolf’s eyes, she could sense the judgement in the air as the other sized her up. This evaluation of her was completely justified and shamefully Ude looked away. Holding fast to the leg as the other dug fang into soft under belly, she internally scolded herself. Yes, she had been alone and in the wild for some time, but regardless she was still the daughter of a queen. The way she had allowed herself to be conducted was completely unacceptable. "Go ahead. Have what you want." the other spoke sitting back from the kill.

Though jaws had grown taught from grasping the bone, she slowly was able to loosen them and take a step back. A few times she would open and work her jaw muscles to loosen them up. With the stomach now opened, she would latch onto the loose skin and peel it toward the spine of the animal. Slowly and carefully she would use her legs for balance and for added muscle to get the deer skinned so that she could access the lush meat that traced the spine of the deer. From experience she knew this meat was a dense muscle that was also packed with nutrients and fat. Carefully she would dig a canine parallel with the spine, dislodge the muscle from its resting place, and delicately pull the long tendril free. Now that more of it was torn from the back, she would grip it between her front teeth and heave the last of it out.

Her prize in her mouth, she would back away, lay down and begin to eat in a much more lady like manner. Dainty paws would hold the meat, and her back molars would chew free sensible bites. "I'm Tallow. Who are you?" Stopping she would look up to the now identified wolf. The paw on top of the meal would rise and wipe her muzzle.

“I…” her voice was raspy, unused. She would have to cough and clear her throat to try and restore her normal voice, “I’m called Udessa. Thank you, Tallow, for this generosity,” shamefully she would pause briefly, “And deepest apologies for my previous behavior.”

[Tallow]

The gift was taken and the wolf meticulously picked about her choice cut. Tallow held no regret in letting the wild one dine first. Food calmed her and it made sense. An empty belly can do a number on the mind, though the number she just witness implied far more than hunger. Ears came forward in surprise when the creature formed words.

"Oh, you can speak." Her words were matter of fact, and the slight pull at her lips might indicate a measure of harmless humor but Tallow's perpetual gravel had the tendency to give the wrong impression to strangers, "You're welcome Udessa."

The dire considered Udessa, once again carefully choosing her words. She couldn't say 'I understand', for she did not, never being that far gone from herself. She couldn't say 'It's alright', for her behavior certainly was not. Tallow held no ill will to the sunset wolf but her behavior couldn't be brushed off. Such a demeanor could have put both of them in danger. Perhaps these months on her own had chipped away some of her patience and understanding but she was blind to it.

"Being alone is difficult. It's easy to lose yourself."

The ice float cracked behind her shifting under the massive weight and persistent current. Tallow swung her head around, nerves already frayed from this encounter, but little else seemed to happen. They were in no danger and she relaxed. Tallow turned back to Udessa, hoping the abrupt noise didn't send her mind back to blindness.

"How long have you been alone?"

[Udessa]

Curiously, the other wolf looked at her, "Oh, you can speak." Like a bashful child hiding behind their mothers legs, Udessa broke eye contact and looked back at her meat, “You're welcome Udessa." She could feel the other wolf watching her, but she now respectfully did not look up. Again feelings aligned into the subordinate role. "Being alone is difficult. It's easy to lose yourself." Her words pierced her heart and now the female couldn’t stop herself from looking up. Then the crashing of ice snapped her attention away, her front legs springing herself into a sitting position, her body quivering again from the heart racing excitement.

Once she laid eyes on the ice float that had caused the noise, which was now riding over the other it had struck, she would look back to Tallow. Tallow was also watching the river, but when her mind also concluded that everything was safe, she relaxed. Following the demeanor of the other wolf, Udessa lowered her tired body back to the ground. "How long have you been alone?"

“Well….” she trailed off, how long had she been on her own? Errez felt like a fuzz memory, or was it a dream? Had that time ever really occurred with the twin kings in the swamp? And what about before that? With her mother and family, learning to praise the gods with their unyielding power of fury or mercy. “To be honest, I’m not entirely sure. It didn’t happen abruptly, slowly wolves and scent disappeared. They faded away and so did I. A pack dispersal, it’s a hard thing.” she spoke softly towards the end.

This was the first time she had ever talked about what had happened, and to be entirely honest, the female wasn’t completely sure what had occurred. Even in part she felt herself to blame, part of her had always been so distant. She had shied away from the larger portion of bother packs. The feels of all the others watching her just made her so uneasy, so she had mostly kept to the outskirts. Maybe that’s why she never really knew the social dealings of the packs.

[Tallow]

Tallow was thankful the submissive skeleton offered up her story so easily. The dire wasn't particularly coy, it was a matter of not knowing Udessa for more than a moment, and the first half was a less than pleasing first impression. She didn't know if questions would make the monster return. While her tale was indeed a sad one it was a relief that her loneliness was not the result of her violent behavior. Tallow wasn't unreasonable and had no reason to doubt Udessa. Maybe a mistake, but one she was willing to risk.

"I'm sorry to hear that. I can't imagine watching a family drift apart." Voice was quiet and sympathetic, and hopefully clearly sincere, "At least I can imagine my pack is doing fine, even if it's without me."

But a question was left unanswered. Tallow hesitated. Despite the rough edge exile had hewn on her she still manners, and Udessa's past was in truth none of her business.

"Did none of your family come with you?" She ventured, head slightly cocked. The dire had met few others in her months alone, let alone spoke at length with them. The idea that a family wasn't as tightly bound, as extremely loyal as her pack was a foreign concept. There was a chance the newcomer would react badly to such prodding, but Tallow doubted the soft Udessa would turn to anger, more likely to shrink some more. Though she could be surprised. The wolf took the moment to diffuse by standing up and taking another mouthful.

[Udessa]

"I'm sorry to hear that. I can't imagine watching a family drift apart. At least I can imagine my pack is doing fine, even if it's without me." Her quiet voice was somewhat soothing to Udessa as she kept her eyes broken away from Tallow’s. The trailing thought of her last words did peak the mutt wolf’s interest. "Did none of your family come with you?" The acquaintance didn’t stay quiet long before another question was proposed. She would feed her more knowledge of her past, but Tallow would soon get her own bit of questioning from Udessa, she herself now being curious of the other’s past.

“They never did. My mother was always a busy queen, she did her best to give us the time and attention we needed as children, but our family bonds never grew tight or close. To be honest, I was never much of a socialite. I tried to stay in the happenings, but I also adored my peace. Hard to have both at the same time.” Now with the brief overview of her youth she would progress to the happier and livelier times of Errez. “I staid in the marsh in after the fading of family. I somehow was able to find myself again with wolves. The wolves Errez.”

Though she lost those wolves they still held a warm spot in her heart, with will always love that pack and the members that welcomed her so open heartedly. They helped her flourish and find her inspiration as a healer, explaining the vast hurt she also felt when she lost them.

“From what I remember of the brother kings telling me, they came from a dry mountain valley. Many toils grieved their pack, they even had humans come and capture their members to burn them. Fire was a large inspiration to their culture and snakes.” she spoke excitedly and with much more gusto and happiness then she had felt in her voice in a long time. “They helped shape me, grow me. With them I began to find a talent for healing.” Realizing she was talking without end she became hushed and looked up at Tallow, “I’m sorry, please, tell me. Why do you think your pack isn’t missing you? I… I couldn’t imagine leaving without force. I only lost them, because they became lost to me.”

The warmth around them continued to melt the froze woods, icicles would break free from high limbs and rattle their way down knocking others loose with them. Her nerves were quieted, and the sounds didn’t alarm her beyond the simple twitching of her ears where ever they crashed. Among the defrosting trees crows began to gather, their attendance at wolf kills were so common, so again much attention wasn’t paid to them either. They were too smart to try and approach yet, waiting for more numbers and for the pair of wolves to give the carcass more space.

“I don’t know if they would miss me, Carlos, Rafael, any of them. I think they would?” it was definitely more of a question then a statement. The girl felt like she was a part of the them, an essential cog in the machine of the pack, but eternal self-doubt left her uncertain if se ever crossed their mind any more like they did on hers.

[Tallow]

Tallow had the decency to stop her meal while Udessa had the heart to bare her story at her whim. It was a sad tale of drifting and weak bonds and she would be lying if even after hearing it was difficult to process. In her exile the dire had always imagined the life of a loner was the stark contrast of her pack, but hearing families could live side by side and have no qualms about drifting apart told her otherwise. What hell that must be. Ears came forward curiously as she spoke, listening carefully. Tallow didn't find herself surprised when the autumn wolf confessed she enjoyed solitude. Her curiosity was piqued when she spoke of finding a second pack. The disgraced wolf often wondered if she could start a new life elsewhere, find redemption there, but an irrational part of her told her it would be a betrayal to her family.

This Errez she spoke of sounded just as strange as Udessa's distant one. Embracing past tortures and reclaiming them as a coping mechanism was maybe more common than she knew, but seemed foreign to her. But there was little time to dwell on it, in inevitable question was presented. She gave a quiet chuckle. Fair enough.

"I made a mistake, one that resulted in the death of a little one under my watch."  she croaked. Eyes grew distant and for a moment almost slipped into a dark place just as easily as Udessa slipped into a feral state, but she looked up before being consumed, "I would have left whether they told me to or not. I couldn't face her family, knowing what they thought every time they say me. I'm sure some might miss me, my sister." The thought of Willa brought a smile to her face as she remembered what the other said earlier, "She was a healer, too."

Tallow's attention was also drawn to their feathery audience momentarily. They had been the only company she had encountered with a meal for quite a while, but they could wait their turn while wolves gathered.

"I think there can be growth in our circumstances. Maybe one day we'll find ourselves with new family. Or...is that something you're interested in?"

[Udessa]

"I made a mistake, one that resulted in the death of a little one under my watch.” Udessa felt a pulse of regret wash over her, she felt insensitive and heartless for asking such a hard question of Tallow. She should’ve known better, how could there be a good answer? Though self loathing filled her thoughts, she couldn’t but also be interested. Obviously, someone else had placed quite a substantial amount trust in her, giving they believed she could keep their child alive. "I would have left whether they told me to or not. I couldn't face her family, knowing what they thought every time they say me. I'm sure some might miss me, my sister." Tallow paused, and even though they were unburying hard truths and dark pasts, she smiled.

Udessa couldn’t help but the stare, almost gawk, as the happiness beamed from Tallow’s eyes and face. "She was a healer, too." In her heart she felt a slight swelling of pride. Being a healer was part of her soul. Tending to a herbal garden, gathering wild plant life, and drying roots for later use, it was all so self-soothing to her. She could spend hours on the swamp river bank digging up cat tail roots to treat the burns of her pack mates when they were learning fire taming. "I think there can be growth in our circumstances. Maybe one day we'll find ourselves with new family. Or...is that something you're interested in?"

Was she? Why of course, but baring her heart and soul again made fear run through her veins. Her eyes fell to her muddy paws, the melted earth sticking to her tired feet. “I want to say I do. Deep down I of course feel that need to be with our kind, it’s just…” she breathed deep and exhaled slowly, “I truly don’t know how much my inner self can take. You’re the first other I’ve come near, that I’ve talked to. Not to sound rude, the deer played most of a role in that, but then there’s just that deep down need to be with another wolf. I’ve tried to be here, alone, and I’ve lost myself deeper. I don’t know how a lone wolf does it. I don’t need saturation in socializing, but I need something more than nothing. So yes, I will try again, but I need the courage to try again.”

“So, how about you? Will you try again? And what was your former rank? Your sister, how was her herbal skills?” Her mouth felt like a waterfall, it was hard to stop talking, but it felt good. Her vocal cords would get scratchy and she would have to clear her throat after her last slew of questions. Picking her paw up she would cover her mouth and she cleared her throat. “Oh, excuse me, my voice. It’s not been used in a while beyond prayer.”

[Tallow]

Tallow gave Udessa a knowing smile as orange eyes bore into her. It seemed a smile, even in this little time together, was a surprising gesture. The dire had plenty to be melancholy and bitter about and she was sure that much was clear. Not to mention their introduction was less than amiable. Her tail gave a wag. Tragedy and exile had not completely stripped Tallow of her humanity.

The autumn skeleton spoke of her plans, and confirmed the dire's suspicions. Solitude had done a number on them both.

"Not rude at all." she commented regarding the deer, "We all need food." Some more than others, she kept to herself, "I was a Warder. In my pack, my old pack, we were made of many families. I was assigned to one to make sure they were always protected and content." There was a time Tallow would tell others how elite the position was, proud of her accomplishments. But there was no pride in failure, "My sister is quite skilled. She patched me up." Tallow lifted her muzzle to the sky to show the scar on her throat. Not large enough to be fatal, but enough to destroy her voice, "If I had stayed I'm sure I would have watched her climb her rank."

Many a night had been spent thinking of her family, lulling herself to sleep with all the happy endings they would have. Tallow had long accepted her ending wouldn't be as happy and felt no bitterness about her fate, only a sadness in not watching the others, especially her sister.

"I'd also like to try again. I-want a chance to redeem myself. I'll never bring the child back, but I can protect others. I'll find a home someday. And don't worry about your voice. It's nice to hear a voice like mine," she gave a little smile, "Look at us. Two lonely souls bearing it all. I suppose there's little to lose out here, no secrets needed."

[Udessa]

"I was a Warder. In my pack, my old pack, we were made of many families. I was assigned to one to make sure they were always protected and content." Udessa’s interest was perked again. "My sister is quite skilled. She patched me up." now Tallow tipped her nose up to the sky, exposing her throat and a scar. Udessa couldn’t help but to lean nearer to Tallow to see her sister’s handy work. The scar was beautifully healed, the new fresh skin across it was smooth and healthy. "If I had stayed I'm sure I would have watched her climb her rank."

“Oh I’m sure, I can certainly see her talent, looks like it healed very well,” Udessa stated reassuringly.

"I'd also like to try again. I-want a chance to redeem myself. I'll never bring the child back, but I can protect others. I'll find a home someday. And don't worry about your voice. It's nice to hear a voice like mine," she paused and smiled warmly at Udessa, "Look at us. Two lonely souls bearing it all. I suppose there's little to lose out here, no secrets needed."

She felt slightly embarrassed that she had been so freely spilling her heart and soul out to the stranger, burdening the other wolf with troubles of her life. A hush fell over her with eyes turned down to the ground, tufts of hair like mane falling forward as she pressed a toe into the soft earth. With the elevated temperature the soil gave in and she easily made a shallow divot, rotating her paw back and forth it deepened and expanded the divot slowly.

Still looking at her own dark paw, “So, what was it like? Your home?” feeling as if she had been too vague in what she was exactly asking she looked up. “The trees, grasses, and flowers that is. Since leaving the swamp I’ve been enjoying new greenery. In the marsh everything had a dark beauty. Lots of gorgeous things that were also deathly poisonous. When I was a child, I watched a fawn with its mother once. The doe had carefully eaten select berries from a bush, the fawn was not so delicate. It ate leaves and stems before the mother noticed. She reacted frantically and I curious. So, I followed them and watched, but it didn’t take long before the fawn began to show signs of distress. It was wobbling on its legs and began to drift further and further behind its mother. I know, its strange for a wolf to watch and not prey upon the weak, but that plant had caused something, and I needed to see what. The mother took notice her child was drifting further behind her, so she turned back to it. Her nose came close to the fawn and it bumped into her, then wandered into an opposite direction, it was beginning to lose its sight. The doe got her child to lay with her, you could tell there was a looming air of fear surrounding the doe, it seemed like she knew what the outcome would be. It was intimidating how quickly the poison of the plant affected the animal. It began to wheeze and labor in its breathing. Finally, its head laid down to not rise again. I had to chase the mother away, she staid with the cold body for hours. I needed to smell the deceased, I needed to see all the ill effects.

It’s a sick fascination, I know, but plants do such amazing things. They give and take life so easily. Eating safe fungus is what has kept me alive during these lean times.” Her last statement was boasted proudly, then she looked over her shoulder to her boney spine and prominent ribs. An awkward smile coursed over her muzzle as she embarrassingly closed her eyes and let her ears fall back. “Well, my current physique may not exhibit the best of outcomes”

[Tallow]

Willa would have burst at the seams if she saw her handiwork being so meticulously examined and praised. There was no pity or discomfort, merely trained appreciation. It was nice. Tallow lowered her head and gave a small, appreciative smile.

The dire cocked her head slightly as she watched Udessa start to gently paw at the dirt. Some sort of avoidance behavior? The autumn wolf still seemed nervous in her presence and Tallow began to assume this had less to do with their initial encounter and more with her inherent demeanor. She laid down next to the deer and listened to the story. It was macabre at best but Tallow paid attention. As apparent by her earlier drowning debacle the fate of the prey, let alone the method of dispatch didn't bother her. Udessa confessed her fascination, even owned up to it's illicit nature. Whether it was foolish or not Tallow found comfort in her self realization. Someone is only crazy if they don't think it's crazy, right?

"I knew some plants could do those things," she coughed, "But my pack didn't do much looking into it. At least not that the majority knew about, but I highly doubt they dabbled in poisons behind our backs." The dire took a nibble of food, "I can't really tell you much about the plants, other than what they look like. As a pup we were all required to learn the basics of the ranks but I'll admit I didn't pay much attention to herbs."

Her parents wouldn't have been proud of that fact but she knew her secret was safe. It was freeing to speak so candidly. Tallow took a break to eat a little more to find that Udessa had dug herself a little hole. An odd tick. She looked sheepish at her condition but Tallow did not hold it against her.

"As I said, I don't know much about plants but even they are scarce in the winter. I'm sure it has nothing to do with your skills. So what about you? You're heart clearly belongs to the healer's way of life. Did you always feel like this?"

[Udessa]

"I knew some plants could do those things," the females rough voice coughed out the words. Udessa wasn’t sure if it was the scaring of her throat or the lack of use of her voice that caused her speech to come off as a force of labor. She had noticed it was raspy and course during the duration of their conversation. "But my pack didn't do much looking into it. At least not that the majority knew about, but I highly doubt they dabbled in poisons behind our backs."  Udessa listened attentively and waited for her to finish her nibble of venison and the train of thought she was traveling down out loud, "I can't really tell you much about the plants, other than what they look like. As a pup we were all required to learn the basics of the ranks but I'll admit I didn't pay much attention to herbs."
 
“We all have our own soul’s callings, yours may not be mine, but I’m still appreciative of the fellowship,” with a soft smile she looked back at the ground. There was no telling where this conversation would take them connection wise, she could never see her again, but it was the soulful up lift she needed. The kindness of a stranger she needed to shine light and life into the dark hole she had fallen into.
 
"As I said, I don't know much about plants but even they are scarce in the winter. I'm sure it has nothing to do with your skills. So what about you? You're heart clearly belongs to the healer's way of life. Did you always feel like this?"
 
“I always loved exploring the swamp land, I always liked to smell the flowers and watch the plants grow, but in the end I give all honors to my goddess, Athena. She is who guided me to my path of green. When I was small, in the den with my litter, I had a dream. A beautiful wolfess stood at the entrance of where we slept, she called my name softly and I went to her. Her fur shined brightly in the glowing morning sun and the wind trickled delicately through her coat. Her footsteps fell silently, her scents smelled of fresh rain and sweet grass. She told me she would task me with loving her garden, and she would guide to the path of ultimate knowledge of everything I tended to. My goddess is also wise in the tactics of warfare, that’s why she would show me how these plants would protect me and my pack.”
 
Udessa spoke freely of her religion, she had known that some wolves did or didn’t practice their own, Errez believing in the power of fire. Out here in this world, it never dawned on her that a wolf could live without believing in the higher powers of loving gods.

[Tallow]

"As am I."

 While this was far from the most engaging conversation she had ever had it was the only one Tallow had had in months. An exchanging of life stories with a timid wolf with bouts of what seemed to be insanity was all that was offered then she'd take it. Winter was cold enough as is, she didn't need the chill of perpetual loneliness to contend with.

Tallow let out a lazy yawn. Between the physical exertion of dragging the deer and the mental of social interaction the wolf wouldn't have minded a nap, but she would listen more of plants and poison. Ears came forward and grey eyes lifted. A...goddess? Head cocked slightly, was she truly serious? Her old pack had tales of higher powers, namely the sun and moon, but they were very clearly fictitious. merely fun stories to spark imaginative play with the young. Tallow had never met a pup that reached a year that still looked to the sky expecting sentience and care.

"Athena, huh?" her voice betrayed her skepticism though she tried to remain polite, "We had a pack near us that worshiped other being. I had very little dealings with them, I couldn't tell you what they called them. When we had dreams, they were just dreams. If we took them at face value then I might be seeking the advice of a six legged purple elk right about now."

Tallow was born blunt but she had long been polished by training to not be blatantly rude. That polish, it was clear, had been worn away. Perhaps she wouldn't have been this unpleasant in other circumstance, but Udessa had given her little to respect. A slavering beast one moment and a crawling one the next. They had barely met eyes as she sheepishly played in dirt and snow. Or at least that would be Tallow's defense.

"But...each to their own." No matter how stupid.

((I'm in no rush to finish this thread but I think we've found a reason they don't hang out long term lol))

[Udessa]

"Athena, huh?" The tone of Tallow’s voice tore Udessa’s ears forward, before she took them back and laid them timidly back on her skull. "We had a pack near us that worshiped other being. I had very little dealings with them, I couldn't tell you what they called them. When we had dreams, they were just dreams. If we took them at face value then I might be seeking the advice of a six legged purple elk right about now."

Confusion coiled around her brain and wrenched down tight, like a python latched to a mouse. The thought process of the lack of a belief system was something she had not yet encountered. The golden splashed girl felt herself recede away from Tallow, mentally. Her soul had begun shining again when she had made an encounter with another, but she was so fragile now, that even this tiny bit of adversity seemed unsurmountable.
"But...each to their own." Tallow spoke again, her words still tainted in the same shallow, and blunt tone.

“I… I’m sorry,” she whispered pathetically, with a slight shiver. What has happened to her previously strong soul? This was the Moccasin of Errez, that piloted an entire poison-based attack strategy for the pack. While she had never the revere of boisterous crowds, she had still the nerve of strong will and soul.

Time spent with Tallow had allowed her stomach to process to the protein that she had filled her belly with. She felt a new vigor in her body. Now she stood, and her head didn’t go swimmy, her knees didn’t wobble, and muscles didn’t ache. Udessa dipped her head in a courteous bow of respect. “Thank you, Tallow, for the meal. My body and soul needed It. I hope you safe travels.”

[Tallow]

What little flame of strength and personality had been coaxed out of the skeleton fled and Tallow looked on cold and curious. Naivety was laughable, but not an offense to apologize for. At least not to this degree. But this wolf seemed old enough now to understand the line between reality and fairy tale. The dire didn't wish to delve into theology, though, and was relieved to see Udessa stand to leave. She was visibly stronger now. Good, she thought. For while the strange wolf was far from friend material she meant to ill will towards her.

"You're welcome, Udessa. You stay safe as well."

Her words her courteous and mostly genuine. But Tallow took in one deep breath before she left. She wouldn't forget that scent, and the beast that lay under the veneer it belonged to.

((Hey, thanks for the rp Awina! And putting up with my awful fur child lol))

[Awina]

(thank you also, it was fun, anytime you want to write together, let me know <3)