[Razi]

「R a z i 」

These lands were an interesting sight the further I allowed myself to explore.  It was definitely a land I could have grown accustomed too.  It had been perhaps a few days since I was allowed acceptance into the lands of Gemini.  I was almost certain the male whom had accepted me would have denied me.  He seemed so reluctant to allow me to stay.  You could have attacked him and been done with it.  You can't deny the joy you would have felt spilling his blood all over their precious land...the thrill, the... I growled, "Shut up, I am done with all that!" I raged my frustration, twisting my head from side to side as I seemed frozen where I stood.  I wanted to paw at my head until it bled, hoping that maybe they would bleed out with my blood; but I knew it would be a stupid effort.  The sad thing though, they were not wrong.

I would have enjoyed attacking him, spilling his blood all over their territory; but it would have gained me unwanted attention.  I would have enjoyed the taste of his blood in my mouth, the thrill that it would have brought me.  I was after all the Mad Hatter, the demon lurking in the shadows.  I was the monster that went bump in the night.  They had all been afraid of me.  I mean for pete's sake I pushed my own mother off a cliff!  I felt nothing and I doubt I will ever feel anything at all.  My heart was an empty void, devout of all things that a wolf was suppose to be.  My mind was black, clouded of all things where a conscious should have been.  I would have enjoyed the sickening rip of his throat as blood flowed from his wound.  It would have been sweet and tangy, orgasmic if such a thing existed; but I was a wolf.

I was lonely and wolves should never be lonely.  I may be mad, but not an idiot.

I turned emerald eyes to survey my surroundings.  I suppose I walked far enough to be unaware of where I was going.  These lands were vast and wide, so it was told to me.  I had taken the time to explore as much of the lands that was offered to me.  It would have appeared that nightfall at bestowed itself upon me.  I took the moment to study it as my eyes washed over the vast darkness.  I am sure the moon was shining bright silver somewhere in the horizonal; but my ears caught the distant sound of water.  The smell of it tickled my nose as I turned to head towards it.  So much blood, beautiful blissful blood... My ears twitched at the voices haunting me.  I could not help but smile.  The sight of blood had always suited me.  It was just something I will never be able to help.  What's a conscious anyways?

I shoved my nose into the water to take my fill.  It felt like I was drowning as the water slurped up my nose, looming my tongue to allow the coldness of the liquid to quench my thirst.  I snorted, bubbles elevating to the surface.  I proceeded to shove myself to a sitting position as my muzzle was wrenched free of the suffocation.  I tilted my head to a loud buzzing in my head as they bickered at me.  I guess it was their way of scolding me of trying to rid their host of this world.  I could not help but laugh at their silly antics.  Fuck, I was going crazy.  No, I was already crazy.  Though, I suppose if anyone saw me laughing to myself, they would probably think I was insane.  What the hell was this crazy red wolf laughing at?  Nothing but my pure insanity. Ha.

I turned to look at my reflection.  Yep, I was still there.  All of my red glory of a dire wolf could ever be.

ooc: Let me know if I did anything wrong.  Gonna try a little of first person and third person with Razi.  Madness! lol

[Ashe]

"You’re wishin’ too much, baby. You gotta stop wearing your wishbone where your backbone oughtta be." - Eat, Pray, Love

The Mad Hatter wasn't the only one with voices in her head.  Anxiety and Reason were permanently perched on Ashe's shoulders, akin to the classic arguing id and super-ego.  Unlike the freudian concept, however, it was two very more base instincts that were given mental voice. Reason was Ashe's courage, but Anxiety sometimes kept her alive.  If the situation allowed her long enough to analyze, Reason usually won out the arguments.  If there was danger, well, Ashe was mostly a run first, ask questions later kinda girl. Sometimes Reason chided her with hindsight, revealing the foolishness Anxiety had made her believe in.  Sometimes Anxiety was just plain right. For the moment, however, Ashe had no mental bickering assaulting her mind.  Instead, she was traveling a path that was now familiar, the one that led to the closest stop for a drink.  Physical needs usually trumped any argument and she was of one mind that water would be a good idea just now.  She had just come around the bend that approached the bank when the sound of laughter echoed back through the trees in her direction.  With ears pricked, Ashe looked around the last couple trees to see what was so funny.  Instead, she saw a wolf sitting alone. She was big and red as blood.  Anxiety awoke, reminding Ashe of the last time that she had come across big red wolves.  Reason told her that this was far inside the territory, and that Ashe was also a member here.  Anxiety countered that she had been a member at the border too, that hadn't stopped her from an assault so terrifying that had made her faint.  Reason's only argument was that she hadn't really been hurt, had she?  Did being scared senseless count as hurt?  It certainly wasn't enjoyable, that much Ashe was sure of.  The little female stood on the path like a deer in the headlights.  The water was right there, and she did want to drink, but she didn't at all want to invade the red female's space.

[Razi]

「R a z i 」

I sat there staring hard at my reflection, contemplating on my next moves.  I had no idea what the hell I was going to do once I became apart of this pack.  I just wanted a place to call home.  After all, I forced myself to flee my old pack lands because I was so sick and tired of their hypocrisy.  My mother and father never understood me.  My mother was the worse of them all, and they were dead now.  They were gone from this world and I never felt an inch of remorse for them.  A pup was suppose to feel something when their parents died, right?  I guess I was one in a million.  I was filled with so much hate and anger that I allowed it to become me.  I was just a pup...one hell of an angry, murderous pup.  I never cried.  No, I was happy.

Yet, I was a wolf and there was only so much running I could do before the realization came knocking at my front door.  It hit me hard like a ton of bricks.  I felt like I was sinking, crashing into oblivion.  For the first time in my life, I started to feel lonely.  I started to feel..I do not have any idea what I was feeling.  There were no words in this universe that could ever express how I was feeling.  This was a strange feeling to me..a feeling that a wolf such as me should never have ever felt.  I was a cold blooded killer.  Killers felt nothing.  There was no remorse, no regrets, no hesitation, no anything.  We simple just acted.  I suppose I could have made the perfect mercenary, the perfect assassin..the perfect whatever.  I did not think, I just acted upon what sounded and felt good to me.

Someone waits.. I shoved my ears forward as the wind raised up, a scent tickling my nostrils.  Someone dares tries to trick us..we must..  "Shut up," I mentally growled, warning them.  I twisted myself around onto all fours to face the bearer of the scent.  I was abruptly taken back by the sight of the little brown creature.  She looked like prey.  She looks so delicious...we should taste her..  I heaved a huge sigh.  I already knew that this encounter was going to be a HUGE problem.  At least it was going to be a problem for me.  They started getting louder like flies buzzing over a carcass.  "Shut up.." I muttered again under my breath, "Just fucking shut up.." I growled very lowly.  I was having a hard time thinking.  They always made it so complicated, so hard to think when they talked.

I lowered my head just in time as I bared my fangs in irritation.  I lifted a heavy paw to my head as I shook it violently.  "Fuck..."  I grumbled as I shifted my weight, collecting myself before I approached this prey of a creature.  That was a silly thought.  Only cannibalistic creatures ate their own kind.  I turned my head as emerald eyes met those of the blue eyed creature.  A half hearten smile slid along my muzzle as I tried to appear as friendly as possible.  "Hey," No, that was too loud, "I'm not going to eat you," Yet.  I pushed myself slightly a few steps before stopping.  She was here to drink, right?  I tilted my head sideways and made a half attempt at wagging my tail.  Maker, I felt pathetic and probably looked pathetic too.  I had to remind myself that I was a wolf and I was very tired of being fucking lonely.

ooc: 

[Ashe]

"You’re wishin’ too much, baby. You gotta stop wearing your wishbone where your backbone oughtta be." - Eat, Pray, Love

"Fuck..." As quiet as she had tried to be, she wasn't quiet enough.  The red's ears swiveled up, and Ashe felt rather than heard the vibration of aggression.  Her tones were too low to make everything out, but the single word rang clear into Ashe's ears.  She hunched her shoulders, tucked her tail and tried to make herself as small as possible. She had thought Gemini would be nice, but somehow, she seem to have found all of the biggest, snarliest beasts she could stumble upon.  Wasn't it just her luck.  Perhaps she would leave in the spring... There had to be somewhere easier.  She liked Gemini, loved the land and she'd be sad to go... The thought sidetracked her as she stood frozen.  It was only one stray thought, but she chided herself for the lapse in attention. "Hey," The female's voice rang sharp and loud, and Ashe flinched.  She prepared to bolt. "I'm not going to eat you." Ashe wasn't so sure about that. She turned to look into those sharp green eyes.  The smile the female gave her was crooked at best.  To Ashe, she was just terrifying, but she seemed honest about it? Hesitantly, Ashe smiled back, doing her own best to look friendly while also being scared out of her mind.  Looks could be deceiving, right? "Um... Hi...?" Ashe gave a hesitant wag back.

[Razi]

「R a z i 」

Oh dear maker...this creature..this little brown fucking creature was going to be the death of me.  The way she looked at me was so fucking pitiful.  She literally was like a little damn deer caught in the lines of headlights.  She was staring down the face of a predator and she was too stupid to run.  Oh dear maker...I had no idea what to make of this little brown wolf.  I had no idea what the hell I was suppose to do with this pathetic thing of a wolf.  She was not loud so I had no urge to rip her throat out to shut her up.  She was just this quiet little thing that just baffled the hell out of me.  I was completely and utterly confused on how I was suppose to react to her.  If the little wolf had jumped at me then I would have had known how to respond.

The little brown wolf was on the verge of bolting when I almost lept at the quiet voice coming out of..that..girl.  She was actually speaking to me and it scared me out of my wits.  Something actually jolted me out of my thoughts.  Look at her, she's faking it..she will rip our throat the fir--....  "Are you done?" I turned my head sideways, turning my eyes up as if trying to look into my head.  I snorted and flattened my ears against my skull as I closed my eyes.  I inhaled and exhaled trying to collect myself before I gave into the urge to rip this little doe eyed wolf's throat out.  The thought was tempting, but I had to harshly remind myself that I was tired of fucking being alone.

I slowly turned my attention back to the girl.  I could not help but allow a chuckle to escape my muzzle as I shoved my hind quarters to the ground.  I stared at her for a brief moment before half glancing to the waters.  It was pretty clear that this little critter thought I was out of my damn mind.  She looked terrified out of wits, ready to jump out of her skin.  Yet, I am pretty sure she looked like that all the time.  I heaved my shoulders into a shrug as a sigh escaped my muzzle.  "Look, I get it, you're flipping terrified; but I have no interest in eating you or any wolf for that matter," I shifted my weight, motioning with a paw, "You can call me Razi, and I bet you are thirsty.  That's why you are here, right?"  I craned my head sideways with a lope sided smile along my muzzle.  Damn, I was so bad at this.

ooc: Let me know if the language bothers you lol I did not realize how much I use it haha

[Ashe]

"You’re wishin’ too much, baby. You gotta stop wearing your wishbone where your backbone oughtta be." - Eat, Pray, Love

 

"Are you done?" Ashe's eyes flicked in the direction of the red female's gaze, but there was nothing there. She didn't hear anything, although her doggish ears swiveled forward just to make sure. Was it a bird in the tree? The doe of a girl tilted her head slightly, keeping the red wolf in her sight while looking up into the branches.  No... no birds... The loud snort that followed made Ashe flinch, flicking her ears back against her head. But she had managed not to jump out of her skin this time.  She stood her ground a moment longer, tension trembling through her frame, adrenaline already an icy heat... and watched the wolf sit down.  Her large ears came forward again, once more perked in interest. "Look, I get it, you're flipping terrified; but I have no interest in eating you or any wolf for that matter," Then why does she keep bringing it up? Anxiety asked.  Ashe didn't have a good answer for that.  Maybe she only killed what she ate?  Reason countered.  That does make sense... Ashe realized she was staring, and flicked her gaze down towards the red's feet just in time to see her gesture. "You can call me Razi, and I bet you are thirsty.  That's why you are here, right?" Razi gave another horrific smile.  More prepared this time, Ashe returned it with a slightly more realistic imitation of her own.  She nodded, slowly uncurling herself back into a normal standing position. "I'm Ashe." They awkwardly stared at one another for a moment before Ashe figured the only polite thing to do was to get her drink.  The water did sound good, and her throat was dry from the scare.  Keeping Razi in her line of sight, Ashe stepped towards the bank and crouched to drink.  Anxiety still 100% wasn't sure that Razi wasn't going to eat her.

OOC: I'm fine with the language.  Ashe, however, has not had the best IC interactions with the word.  It's part of her character ^^

[Razi]

「R a z i 」

My black heart went out to this little doe eyed she wolf..well if I had a heart it would have.  I continued to watch her as emerald eyes studied her.  She was a pathetic creature like a prey should be.  She could have been easy to take down.  She was small, oh ever the tiniest of creatures she could ever be.  The brown she wolf looked fragile like I could lift a paw and barely touch her and she would shatter into tiny little pieces.  The way she looked at me was almost prey like.  It was almost like she was so terrified that she was ready to surrender her skin.  Was it even possible that a wolf could 'surrender' its skin?  To simply just step out of it and walk away from the world?  I think they called those..what spirits?  Ghosts?  Huh..

I'm Ashe.

I tilted my head slightly as the little doe of a wolf spoke to me.  Wow...the she wolf actually had a voice.  It was amazing.  I felt kind of weird when she just stared at me like we were in a midst of a staring contest.  I would like to think I would definitely win in this contest...She would be so easy..just one lift and...  I heaved a sigh as I forced a wall against the thick of my skull.  Here I was trying to be a friendly, generous host, and these bubbling idiots were tempting me into oblivion.  Maker, I needed a better grip on myself.  It did not help that the temptation was always in their favor.  I liked the smell, the feel, and the thrill of bloodshed.  I would like to think I was purposely borne into the element as I am now.  I had fur the color of blood after all.

I shifted my weight as I watched her come closer.  Good, she was slowly getting the courage to come ear the big bad wolf.  If this had been any other day before my joining of Gemini, she would have been a fool.  What idiot turns their back on someone they do not know?  "Rip her throat out..let us see the river flow with blood...  The thought was tempting, but not the attention I wanted right now.  "Good, we are on first name basis," I mumbled, jerking my head to stare at my reflection.  "Other than that, what's a scared little doe like you ambling aimlessly in these parts?"  I tried to make conversation.  That is what strangers do when they meet right?  That is how one makes a friend, right?

ooc: haha the poor baby

[Ashe]

"You’re wishin’ too much, baby. You gotta stop wearing your wishbone where your backbone oughtta be." - Eat, Pray, Love

 

"Good, we are on first name basis, Other than that, what's a scared little doe like you ambling aimlessly in these parts?" Doe was a pretty apt description for Ashe, all legs and ears and big, soulful eyes.  If she had a spirit animal, it would probably have been a doe.  Not a bear or boar or eagle.  Not something predatory and strong.  No, Ashe was a kind, gentle creature.  To say she felt safe would be an outright lie, but Ashe was starting to lean towards Reason's favor.  This wolf was probably being honest about not eating her.  Not that she couldn't, she definitely could, Anxiety reminded her her.  But she was being gracious, as far as Ashe could tell. It would not do to be rude back to someone who was being polite. Or at least, someone who was honestly giving it their best shot.  So Ashe finished her drink, and proceeded onto awkward conversation. "I am on my Trahentium Inventionis" Ashe explained, using her pack's ceremonial phrase for "trail of discovery".  She was becoming an adult, finding her place in the world.  Some returned to the pack, having wandered and finding nowhere else they would rather be.  Ashe was still looking, still unsure if she would return, or call somewhere new home.  She had still not decided if that place would be Gemini.  Aside from Echo's warm welcome, she hadn't had much positive interaction with the pack.  Despite being accepted as a member, she still felt very much an outsider in Gemini.  In that, she was very much like Razi. "I left my home pack and was living on the plains south of here." She tipped her head in the general direction of the Wall, then glanced back at Razi, looking to see if she was interested in an elaboration. The little doe wolf did not not want to take up the red wolf's time if she had elsewhere to be. "I hadn't intended to join a pack, but winter forced my hand. I wouldn't have been able to survive out in the open alone."

[Razi]

「R a z i 」

I craned my head slightly at the little doe eyed she wolf, listening briefly to what she had to say.  It is what someone should do, right?  To wait quietly and patiently for one to finish their story before one decided to poke their nose in; or rather allow their voice to be heard.  I could be wrong, but it seemed like we were getting somewhere.  The doe and I.  We were both awkward in this type of situation and I was probably wrong for forcing this upon her; but eh, you got to start somewhere, right?  I have not really been afraid of much.  So, I had not decided if I really could sympathize with the little brown she wolf.  She was annoyingly adorable and I could really imagine her being a tasty deer.  She was really going to ruin my bad wolf reputation.

I shoved my ears slightly forward at her reasoning for being here.  I quirked a brow in question.  I had no idea what she was going on about except that she had not intended on joining a pack but of course good ol' mother nature forced her to reconsider her options.  I can understand that.  Mother Nature had a thing or two to say about my life as I grew up.  She was such a nasty little bug, an annoying itch that you could not soothe no matter how much you scratched.  Though, I am pretty sure if she was a physical being standing in front of me, I would probably rip out her throat.  I would dance happily on her body and swim in her blood, lavishing myself.  She was cruel and nasty and I would have no part of her twisted sense of humor.

"So, tell me little Ashe," I began to speak, "What exactly is a..what do you call it?  Trahentium Inventionis?"  My tongue clicked over the words, mauling over them.  It was an interesting source of words and words I had not heard of.  So she was from the Southern Plains?  Or rather she had resided there for a time before coming to Gemini.  I turned my head slightly in the direction she motioned to.  Ah, the wall.  No, she definitely did not have a chance in hell of surviving on her own out there during the harsh winters.  It was such a dreadful and horrible thought, but sometimes the truth was never too nice to hear.  It was probably for the best that she had stumbled upon this pack.

ooc: 

[Ashe]

"You’re wishin’ too much, baby. You gotta stop wearing your wishbone where your backbone oughtta be." - Eat, Pray, Love

 

"So, tell me little Ashe,What exactly is a..what do you call it?  Trahentium Inventionis?" Ashe began to relax as their conversation became comfortably mundane.  Anxiety still simmered in the back of her mind, but Reason was doing its best to assure her that Razi was, despite her appearance, a decent member of Gemini.  Ashe's freudians simmered into a background mummer, and mostly left her to interacting with an actual other lifeform.  Still too early to share her interesting way of thinking, but the red wolf's demeanor suggested that she also spent a lot of time arguing with herself.  Perhaps she had simply wanted real conversation, after all? "Trahentium Inventionis, yes." Ashe nodded, "A rite of passage of my pack.  When one is almost grown, we spend a full turn of the seasons away to find our Locus: our calling in the world. Some return, some settle elsewhere and some are... lost." Ashe had hesitated on leaving with the other youths because she had been afraid.  Afraid of meeting a wolf who had thoughts like Razi, but not the self-restraint.  She had never been strong, never been a fighter.  Her cowardice had been what chained her to her home for as long as she could.  But the rite must be completed, and she was in the midst of a crossroads.  She did not yet know her Locus, did not yet have a place in the world.  She wasn't particularly good at anything. Unless catching mice counted, but since Echo thought they were barely a snack and not worth the time, Ashe didn't think it did.  Not wanting to mention why she had left alone, and hoping Razi would not ask, she attempted a polite shift in focus: "Are you new to Gemini as well?" Hopefully she didn't insult Razi with her question.  She didn't think she wanted to find out what happened if the red wolf felt slighted.

[Razi]

「R a z i 」

I continued to listen to the little doe eyed she wolf.  Her story actually, truly was interesting.  Then again, we were all always looking for our place in this world.  Well, most of us were looking anyways.  Some of us were either too much of a lazy sod to even bother caring or others had so vainly assumed their place in this world.  It was no fun already knowing what the hell you want or think you want.  It was far more interesting to be continuously left in the dark.  One could think of all the fun and adventures they could have.  Ignorance was bliss they always say.  I say diving into the unknown was one hell of a blast.  I would be one to know, most definitely.

I shifted my weight and pushed my belly to the ground as I laid across from the little brown female.  Lost?  Kind of like you?"  I jerked my head sideways as I watched her as softly as I could.  "I could be wrong, but you seem kind of lost, no offense," I mused softly.  Most of the naysayers here looked like they belong.  Aside of course from the few moody ones, kind of like me.  Except I was not really moody, just not overly friendly and of course I have a murderous twitch about me.  I wiggled my paws slightly, tucking my tail tightly around my forelegs as I crossed one foreleg over the other.  I kept my gaze on her for a brief moment, waiting for her reaction before she shot a question at me.

Brave little doe that she was.  I could feel a grin sliding along my muzzle.  "I would like to think that I am a little new to the Gemini pack, yes,"  I paused briefly, "I am not on a rite of passage or anything like that, though," I let my words drown a little bit, hoping that satisfied her little curiosity.  I would hate to see her reaction if she asked further questions about my past.  I honestly would like to think that my past transgressions would cause me to be hunted by the brigade, screaming off with her head.  I giggled mentally in my head.  "There is quite some interesting things about this though," I mentioned, remembering my brief encounters with the weirdies.

ooc: 

[Ashe]

"You’re wishin’ too much, baby. You gotta stop wearing your wishbone where your backbone oughtta be." - Eat, Pray, Love

 

"Lost?  Kind of like you?  I could be wrong, but you seem kind of lost, no offense," Ashe shook her head.  "No... not like me." While she could certainly understand why Razi thought her to be lost, it wasn't the same kind of lost she had meant.  There were more permanent kinds of lost.  Slavery, for example.  A youth could get caught up in the wrong kind of trouble and never get to have a freedom again.  There was also the risk of death on a journey like these.  Ashe had been fortunate enough to find a pack and a place to spend the winter.  Had she gone a different direction, or had winter been more brutal and sudden in its arrival and it was possible she could have been swallowed by the world.  She was grateful that she had been lucky so far.  It didn't mean she always would be.  Anxiety reminded her she wasn't safe, was never safe. Reason countered that at that particular moment, she wasn't exactly in danger, either. "I still have the option to go home, and I still know the way... I just don't know if that's what I'm meant to do." Taking a cue from the red wolfess, Ashe also sank to the ground, one hind leg under the other in a slightly sideways lean.  One forepaw stretched out before her, while one curled in to tuck under her chest.  Did she even lay like a doe? a little bit. Her tail then curled slightly around her haunch.  Was she in a vulnerable position doing this? Yeah... she was. But it was nice, to be able to lay and have a conversation. Clearly Razi wasn't intending to go anywhere, so why should she make it awkward by staying upright?  It would be rude, if not outright threatening, and Ashe had never taken a dominant posture in her life.  Well... except that one time at the border, but that was only the once, and she remembered how well that went. "I would like to think that I am a little new to the Gemini pack, yes. I am not on a rite of passage or anything like that, though," Ashe let out a small wuff of a laugh at Razi's joke.  Different things brought different people together, and just as Ashe found it a bit awkward to talk about herself, Razi seemed equally uncomfortable. Not wanting to press further, Ashe let the matter drop.  Backstory was certainly not "first date" conversation, and Ashe didn't want to ruffle any feathers.  She was bad at communication, and Razi, at least, seemed to be trying equally as hard.  It was the barest seed of camaraderie, but properly nurtured, it could blossom into something akin to friendship.  So far, Ashe thought having a friend like Razi really wouldn't be too bad.  She was scary, but she really wasn't too scary. "There is quite some interesting things about this though." "Oh?" Ashe asked, her ears perking with interest.  She sensed a story, but let Razi elaborate as she would.

[Razi]

「R a z i 」

I turned my head slightly, ears aligning themselves in a crooked posture before I relaxed myself.  So she claims she was not lost.  Maybe she did not gather the idea of what I meant by lost.  No matter, she was an interesting little wolf and one I would definitely consider not killing after all this was said and done.  She was tolerable in a sense.  She wasn't shoving herself into my face, though she was a little bit of a weak stance creature.  At least that was what I had gathered when she first stumbled into the fray.  I thought the little brown she wolf was more of like a little pup that needed constant nurturing.  No matter, she was rather intriguing to listen to.  Coming from a pack that lived an almost spiritual life style.

I took a deep breath, "Okay so you are not lost, then; but do you think you could find yourself belonging here in a way?" Score one for Razi.  I was totally getting better at this talking stuff.  Most of the time it was just easier to jump in and shed a little blood rather than waste time yapping your jaws off.  It's not too late...we could still jump in and paint the grass with her blood...  Splendid.  Just when I thought I was cleared for the whole blood and guts thing.  I was going to remark to them, but I had to harshly remind myself that I had the potential of scary the little doe with my unsettling reality.  I remembered the way she looked at me when she first laid eyes on me.  I would presume she would lose quick interest in me if I kept speaking violently out loud.

I shoved my ears forward slightly as a laugh escaped the little she wolf's mouth.  Oh shit.  She actually thought I was funny?  Hey!  That was definitely a start to a small flame..of whatever we were doing..what did they call it?  Frie...friend...?  Friendship?  Yea that had to be the word.  Is this how it felt to make a friend?  I could hardly square this little doe as a friend.  She could never really give me any kind of benefit except how to be a terrified little doe.  I mentally mused to myself at the thought.  That was not fair.  Not everyone could be as cruel and murderous as me.  Then again, maybe it was a good thing.  I do not think the world could handle a billion versions of me.

Her short question puzzled me.  She said 'oh?' as if waiting for...oh!  She was waiting for further explanation of what I had said about this place having something interesting about it.  I could feel a grin slipping along my muzzle as I prepared myself for a story..well it was more of personal experience look at me kind of thing..I guess..."You ever wonder what happens when someone dies?  Do they just rot into the ground or do they just disappear?"  I paused slightly as I turned my gaze out towards the furthest part of the waters, "These lands are interesting because on rare occasions the dead is seen among the living," I half glanced at the little doe to catch her reaction.

ooc: 

[Ashe]

"You’re wishin’ too much, baby. You gotta stop wearing your wishbone where your backbone oughtta be." - Eat, Pray, Love

 

"Okay so you are not lost, then; but do you think you could find yourself belonging here in a way?" Looking out over the water, Ashe lost herself in her own thoughts for a moment.  Could she find herself belonging here?  So far she had no ties, no friendships or family, no lover or prospective mate.  She had no ties to the land, no bones to visit or ancestors to call here.  But this land sang to her in a way she had not experienced at home.  Not a calling, not yet, but maybe.  She'd need to keep searching, keep exploring.  She still didn't know what she was meant to do, and until she had exhausted her options here, she wouldn't count the territory of Gemini out in the race for her new home. "Hmm... hard to say..." Ashe replied after some thought. "I'm not sure yet, but then, Winter is always a hard season for decisions. I don't think I'll know before the land wakes in spring." "You ever wonder what happens when someone dies?  Do they just rot into the ground or do they just disappear?  These lands are interesting because on rare occasions the dead is seen among the living?" Ashe looked back to the red wolf and smiled, her eyes calm and clear.  A stark contrast to what the lady in red would have considered her reaction from her past displays.  But ghosts were not something Ashe usually feared.  "I think... the dead return to the land to become its voice, and manifest to guide the living in its care and protection." She knew of good spirits and of bad ones.  There were charms and wards that she had been taught since she was a child. Along with the stories.  Honor and revere those who came before you, learn from what the wind whispers, and should you be so lucky to see a piece of time out of the river, heed the warning it brought.  Yes, Ashe knew of ghosts.  But they did not seem as monsters to her, but the echos of the light and shadows of the world.  She knew what to do about ghosts, it was the living who were unpredictable.

[Razi]

「R a z i 」

I gave the little doe a slight incline of my head in response.  The seasons were always a dictation to one's decision.  Mother nature was a nasty one at times and each area had its own devastation.  Some seasons are better in some locations while the absolute worse in other locations.  This place did not seem so bad during the winter times.  In fact it was almost magical in a sense.  Then again this place was kind of weird and strange all around anyways.  I had gotten used to all different kinds of seasons during my travels.  I suppose it was a good thing in a way.  I have yet to be caught off guard with the changing seasons, but surprises do happen.

I pondered for a moment, head cocked in a questionable manner.  "I would think that the winter time would be the perfect time to make a decision,"I paused briefly, "I mean you get to experience one of the harshest seasons.  It gives you thought if a land can survive different seasons especially winter and summer,"  I motioned with a paw slightly.  It made sense to me anyways.  If a land was unable to survive in the harshest of seasons then there was no way one could call it their permanent home.  Then again there were the idiots who just could not part with their beloved homelands.  Idiots.

I sat in thought over the little brown she wolf's next set of words about my perception of the afterlife.  It was actually rather interesting to say the least.  She may be a frighten little doe at times, but she was really intelligent to talk too.  I think I won't ever decide to eat her as of yet.  It would be a waste to slaughter such a precious mind.  "I like that perception..kind of.." I began, turning my gaze slightly as I pondered over words.  I adjusted my weight slightly, "It is comforting to know that the dead still care, but there are some that I hope just are that, dead," I grumbled slightly.  There was some of my family that I hope never come back to haunt me.

She'll come back and hurt us!  We can't allow---" Stop!  I shoved my ears forward with a mental sharp growl.  Nope!  Never gonna happen!  Shut up!  I did not want them tainting my mind with images of my stupid vain mother.  I was having a great conversation with this intelligent doe and I did not need to be tempted to be drowned back under the shadows.  "Let me be in control.." I growled lowly under my breath.  I half glanced at the little she wolf, "Well doe, you can consider me a friend, a reason to stay if you want," I could feel a grin sliding along my muzzle.

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[Ashe]

"You’re wishin’ too much, baby. You gotta stop wearing your wishbone where your backbone oughtta be." - Eat, Pray, Love

 

"I would think that the winter time would be the perfect time to make a decision, I mean you get to experience one of the harshest seasons.  It gives you thought if a land can survive different seasons especially winter and summer." "That's true." Ashe conceded, echoing Razi's sentiment. "As far as winters go, this land really doesn't have it too bad." It was a cordial, everyday thing, talking about the weather.  But it was nice.  The day was chilly, but not unpleasant.  The winter air was still, and there was no breeze to suck the warmth out from under their thick coats.  Ashe was still getting used to the chill, for she was further north than she had ever been before.  Her own pack had barely seen snow in the winter season, and if they had, it was sparse and brief.  She'd never had to contend with the depth of the drifts that now lumped over Gemini.  She still got chills, but she was growing in the thickest coat she ever had, puffing her up a little more than her usual sleek self.  She would be itchy come spring.  A good thing there were trees and rocks a plenty for scratching... Loose thoughts drifted through her head, but she did not follow them.  How pleasant this all was, where she could relax and her mind could float without Anxiety and Reason arguing. "I like that perception..kind of.. It is comforting to know that the dead still care, but there are some that I hope just are that, dead," "Our stories said that most spirits must be called to appear. It is said having visions of the dead is an indication of ones own spiritual power, and that they are drawn to those who can sense them. Only the ancient and powerful Great Spirits are known to be able to willingly manifest unbidden to just anyone." Razi's shift in posture did not escape Ashe's notice, and she sensed some inner turmoil had been brought up by the event.  A moment later there was a buzz along her nerves that woke Anxiety.  She had not heard Razi's growl, but like prey who were suddenly alerted by instinct, she felt the ice run down her spine.  One ear flicked back, then forward, a movement that could have been a casual twitch.  But Ashe felt less relaxed than she had a moment ago, and wondered if she had enough distance between them.  She tried to keep her posture neutral, and kept talking, hoping that Razi's precarious control over... whatever had come over her, would not snap.  After a moment, the red seemed settle, and like the passing of danger, the world resettled.  Reason said it was probably because she had found Razi so intimidating before that she was simply afraid of upsetting her.  Since there had been no outburst, it was clearly Anxiety's fault.  Making mountains out of molehills again. "Well doe, you can consider me a friend, a reason to stay if you want." Ashe returned Razi's smile with a genuine one of her own. It appeared she had a new nickname. "I would be honored to call you friend, Razi." She said, and she meant it.   Realizing she was probably keeping the red wolfess from her own tasks, and with a slight gurgle in her stomach that indicated she really should be getting something to eat. Ashe stalled, unsure of how to politely depart.  Instead, she rose and stretched casually, then went to the stream for another drink.  The icy water went down hard, but it was as good an excuse for silence as any.  Her stomach, however, had other ideas.  As the cold water hit her gut, it let out a very loud, very obvious growl.  Much to Ashe's embarrassment.

[Razi]

「R a z i 」

I continued to listen to the little brown she wolf as she transitioned from talking about the weather in Gemini to her clan's perception of the great spirits.  My old pack was more like the seven deadly sins, vain being the sole control of their ways.  They never talked much about anything but themselves or the the warped idea of perfection.  I never knew much about spirits or how they came to be; or even why they stuck around.  It was always a silent fear and yet a genuine curiosity of mine.  I never perceptively feared the consequences of what I had done or whose life I had taken away.  I never thought about the dead coming back to haunt me for the pain I had caused.  I had only feared to see my mother again long after I shoved her off the cliff.

I had always convinced myself it was her fault for the way I had turned out.  If she had just bothered to spend just one ounce of her time with me..then maybe..just maybe..I could have been a less murderous fiend.  Maybe I would not have looked to bloodlust like a junkie aching for their next fix.  It might have been seen pathetic from an outsider looking in, but I did not give a damn.  She was suppose to be my mother, my comfort, my safety blanket..my everything.  Instead she was a cruel twisted little wench who deserved her fate.  I never felt guilty for what I had done to her.  In fact I was glad.  I hope she was rotting a bottomless pit, never to find peace.

I twisted my head slightly in a questionable manner, watching the little doe eyed female.  Her posture gave off a slight change..like she was starting to get nervous again.  Oh..was my inner demons that loud?  Then after awhile she seemed to have settled..realizing I was no longer fighting myself.  I shoved my ears forward as she announced that calling me friend was an honor.  Was it really an honor to befriend a monster?  I was trouble from the very start and I do not think I could be able to bring her eternal peace.  My thoughts were warped..my mind was a mettle mush.  Sometimes I felt like a puppet with her strings pulled too tightly.  I was not good enough for myself much less for someone else; but I suppose I could pretend to smile and that everything will be okay.

I turned emerald colored eyes as they watched the little she wolf pushed herself up.  Was she leaving?  I would be lying to myself if I had said I was not disappointed.  I was starting to warm up to the little doe.  I watched her quench her thirst before the oddest sound rumbled in her direction.  I quirked a brow before I started laughing, the sound grating against my throat.  I shook my head as I too shoved myself up to all fours, violently shaking my fur.  "If I am not mistaken, I think you body is telling you something," I paused, "Like I don't know, maybe you should stuff your face?"  I chuckled, motioning with my head, "Come on my little Ashe, let's go find something for you to murder," I grinned real wide, a hint of amusement lacing along my words.  It was not entirely murder if you hunt to survive, but it was just my way.

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