The rain had begun with a heavy downpour, and then tapered off to something far more steady, but Zasha had long since been drenched, his dark figure little more than a large clump of moving hair, the fringe that rested upon the right side of his face was now practically glued there. The damp of it brought on phantom stinging along the scars around his stolen eye.

He moved unfocused, large paws muddied by the wet ground, sloshing through puddle after puddle, the goal unclear. Out in the great wild outside of any pack walls, he was without the usual purpose besides being a father and husband. There was no brother to listen to, no orders to follow through with. The outside world was empty, and it was strange how Blue Sister had wanted such a life.

Then again, Zasha's mind had always been a battlefield of sub-surreal and unfamiliar. Stumbling drunkenly as his mind fought with old memories and red eyes that constant glared down at him, whispered voices that brought him back to a time long past. Something that could have been called glory days, but pain had been found around every corner hiding itself in the faces of those he loved and swore to protect.

His body crash landed into a hollow tree, jaws clacking together loudly, he grimaced, lucky to not have bit his tongue like he usually did. However something plush had cushioned half of his fall, nostrils flaring to the familiar feeling of fur and then the scent hit him, but his eyes felt blank and sightless. His mind cloaked a dark haze that swallowed him and spit him out more times than he could ever count. "Keef.. Kiefer?" He knew them all, his little lost children, by smell and sound.

He moved closer with a weak body roll, similar to a seal. "Keef??" He called again, though this time he sound a bit more urgent, struggling to push his face against his son's own.

In Kiefer's fevered nightmares, Zasha probably seemed like a creature wheezing in the darkness, a monster closing in for the kill as his body scraped along the dirt ground and jaws clacked against air in his struggle to be nearer to his boy. Large paws slapped the ground and longer claws dug deep tears into the earth, desperation took over, the need for contact as drool flooded his mouth and spilled from the side, he nearly choked as a voice spoke back. Naming him, his mind buzzed, the white noise drowned out only by the sound of his own heart beat so painfully loud within his ears.

A nose brushed him, finally, and a raspy breath escaped the ex-Hawkeye's throat, body trembling with a feeling he was certain to have felt before. Perhaps with Kol? Fur met fur and it took all that the tired father had in him not to wail out in surprise?? Happiness?? His body was quick to curl around his son, like he used to do when the kids were just small little beans.

No matter how many reunions they had, it'd always be the same. Like it had been in Alteron, loud whining and whimpering, shrill sobs that were met with fat tears that overflowed his eye and spilled down his greasy cheek. He'd crane his neck, fanning down the blue boy's side in an attempt to feel for wounds, another thing he always did. Another raspy exhale escaping him once Kiefer did pass with a clean bill of health, thank you, doctor Zasha.

"Sorry, so sorry." He croaked into the plush of his son's scruff, paw extending to drape of the boy's side and pull him in closer as if that were possible, he was already practically cradling him as is. "Zasha here now Keefs." His voice quiet against the patter of rain outside, a tone used a lot back when he was small and the nightmares were far more constant. Zasha would murmur little rambling to soothe the child back to sleep, it always worked then, so it couldn't hurt now.

No matter how old you got, you're still my kid. Nose would press against the side of Kiefer's face, nuzzling against it while placing one caring kiss before messing up the kid's already messy locks of hair, wetting them with happy tears. "Keefs safe, yep yep yep."

His boy's words didn't fall on deaf ears, but it was physically difficult for Zasha to stop the heaving sobs that became whining cries in his rattling chest. His eyes simply would not allow him to, and his buzzing mind knew the words were there to help the boy understand, but could not form them. That part of Zasha that had been beaten back so long ago was now fragmented and splintered, but still that little pieces remained.

I missed you so much, I thought you were gone for good this time. He'd failed to protect them, failed to protect Atlas, Oktober, Adrian, Juni, and Caustus. His poor older children. There of them swallowed hole by the jungle that would by their home and grave. And Zasha, their own father, had failed them. Forsaken them, the day he ran. You did your worst, you tried your best. If he had stayed, their lives would've, they would've.... been okay.

He blamed himself for it all, Sappara's freedom was her own, and many times over Zasha knew he shouldn't have left. It wasn't right. And Alteron, heh, that place wasn't a home. It housed the feral creature he'd fallen for so many years ago, but her home was not his home. "Yes yes, left left left." His voice croaked in a hoarse reply.

Kiefer said something worrying, that lone red eyes flashed open. Had he seen him? That dark little creature that stalks in the shadows, with a voice so familiar and a face covered in smoke, but those red eyes and burning marks were so telling. A lonely brother looking for his family, haunting. "Who?" The ex-Hawkeye rumbled, large paw pulling his boy closer. "WHY?!" He urged, there was a feral fear in that tone, but something had sparked that parental need to protect. "Why run?! Who chase?!!!!" Because now my son's troubles are going to have troubles with me!