Ivaylo lifted her muzzle, her eyes closed softly, as a gentle breeze swept over her. It was a chilly morning in the lowlands. She could walk a few meters away to shield herself from the cold behind the wall if she wished, but she appreciated the wind blowing against her face. She sat on a small slope facing the east as she waited for the sun to peak. She was kind of hoping that after it started to become light out that she would actually get tired for once and be able to sleep, but she would find that out for sure eventually.

She found herself, every day, as far away from noise as she could get without getting lost. The bustling of talk and daily back and forth made her head spin, and she had barely spoke to anyone since the day she arrived at Gemini. After weeks of being alone again when she started her journey away from home, she found it hard to be able to talk once more. She finally came to the conclusion that it was just the way she reacted to sudden changes and loss, and she gave up looking for ways to relieve her stress. Being alone seemed to help the most, but she hated it. She was tormented by both the fear of being abandoned and the fear of being rejected by her new pack. She was not completely alone, at least. She just had a lot of difficulty trying to introduce herself, and she didn't know why she was so afraid.

Warmth and orange glow began to bleed through her eyelids, and her green irises shined as she opened them. A little slice of sun was now visible. She immediately began to feel heavy, and decided now was a good time to try and sleep. She picked herself up and began to drag her paws across the grass towards the wall. Once she drew close to the entrance, she could make out slight sounds of someone making their way towards her. They didn't sound like they were in a hurry, but she moved to the side to let them pass anyway. Hopefully if she pressed herself as close to the outside of the wall as possible, they wouldn't see her as they exit and ask her what hell she was doing so early in the morning.

She jerked her head back and stumbled as she realized she had already been detected, the face of a strapping dark male stooping over her. She was surprised for only a moment, then shuffled her paws and fidgeted in embarrassment. Should she... say good morning? No, that would be dumb. She had never met him before. Well she supposed, that might be something she should say to someone she just met. The vicious cycle of social awkwardness ensued in her head. Ivaylo had sometimes rested her paws around small congregations of other wolves and just observed them, wishing she knew how to approach. But she had no particular reason to, other than to become acquainted with those who should be her companions. That was the part she always got stuck on, and she found herself giving up altogether. For some reason she neglected to familiarize herself with anyone, thinking it would somehow make her look foolish and weak. It felt wrong. She glanced around, a lump hanging in her throat. I really wish he wasn't looking at me right now.


"What causes a packmate to avoid their own?"

The quiet girl turned her back to the wall as he emerged and faced her, and she furrowed her brow while she paused to contemplate his question. There was not much logical thinking involved when she opened her mouth to answer, "My own are dead. They are not here." And of course, immediately, she felt regret. It was nearly impossible for her not behave emotionally. She thought if maybe she could mentally prepare herself before interacting with another, she'd be able to figure out what to say without giving away that she had the mentality of a child. But she had been like that for forever, and she frowned as she remembered with great pain the way her brother used to poke fun at her and call her a sissy. She always secretly thought it was funny. She wished he was here to make jokes about her now. There was no one else around to lighten her mood. She'd have to do that herself. She shrugged, leaning against the wall to attempt to dismiss her own abruptness. 

"I'm not... avoiding, really." She was, in fact, avoiding. "Maybe at first... I guess. I don't quite know how to, ah..." She trailed off, her gaze falling to the ground below her. "Nevermind. Ignore me. I'll figure it out myself." She looked back up at him, slightly hoping he'd just walk away at this point. But she lingered, her forepaw trembling.

"Do you know why packs were created?"

Ivaylo glowered, her gaze shifting downward once more as he continued to explain to her things she was never aware of. How could she know anything? It seemed as if she were the only one in the whole kingdom who came from a small, ordinary family. Was everyone here used to being a part of the something greater? The more he spoke, the more alone and angry she felt. Truly it would be impossible for her to ever relate to someone like him. But she wished she could. This was what her and her brother always dreamed of; to become strong, and to bring their mother to the most awe-inspiring pack there was where she would be safe, the ones they told stories about. Right?

"To help each other overcome the difficulties that life bring; whether it be fighting for safety, hunting for food or support in times when we feel useless and defeated."

A snort escaped from Ivaylo, her stare still fixating on the ground. After a moment, she looked up to see the man take a few steps away to regard the wall as he carried on. "We accomplish things together that would be impossible for us alone."

"Is that right?" she confronted, standing up straight. Her eyes were set ablaze with an emerald fire inside them, and she hoped it burned when she glared back at the dark male standing before her. She wasn't angry with him. No, never at someone who had done nothing to harm her. She was fed up with believing that there was something worthwhile in becoming a packmate to these strange creatures and sitting on her paws in their lands. Why was she really here?

She let her fervent stare rest on his for a short while before she sighed, a long exhale through her nose, and sat again. She turned her head away, not wanting to look at him or the wall any longer. "Forgive me. I have a hard time believing that I made the right choice in coming here. I don't feel... like I've overcame anything." She lifted her head to look up at the heavens, the sky beginning to turn an intense shade of pink and orange.

"How can you help someone when they have nothing left?"

"What were you hoping to achieve when you joined us?"

She huffed, scowling as she thought hard. Ivaylo had a feeling that it was to escape her home forest so that she wouldn't be lost in grief for her mother and brother. A part of her told her it was because the good friend Sveyn advised her to seek refuge. Or was it because she thought she would still be strong on her own without the ones she loved most? But none of it made it okay. There was virtually nothing she could have done to avoid how she was feeling now.

Either way, she had no answer for him. She continued pondering, replaying the question in her head over and over, but to no avail. "I just wish my brother was here to see this. Now he's gone, and I-- I don't know if it matters anymore that I made it without him." If she could somehow trade places with him, she would in a heartbeat. But she knew deep down that it wouldn't make it better either. He would feel the same suffering she did now.

She glanced at him slowly as he sat a short distance away from her, then looked back at the sky. For what it was worth, she did appreciate him listening to her ramble on about her woes. In some ways, she felt it took a little ease off her mind to actually be speaking about the emotions she had been experiencing these last few weeks. Maybe it was time she put trust in Gemini and have faith that soon things will change. But what would change exactly, she did not know. In that moment, a young hawk glided over the pair's heads from past the wall and ascended into the clouds. She watched him until he was out of sight, then flicked her ears as she realized that the songs of many small birds arose into the morning air. She had been too self aware to notice how pleasant it sounded.

"We offer all we are and all we have, all of our understanding, all of our experiences, all of our strength, all of our being is offered to those who seek it. It's up to them to decide the next step and we will help you along the journey...where ever it takes them."

Ivaylo turned her head to look at him, the fire in her eyes now subdued and calm. If what he said was truth, then there was no where else she should be right now. Her mother may have died tragically alone, her brother may be gone forever, but maybe she didn't have to go through the hardships by herself anymore. All she wanted now was to make something of herself, to be someone that would make her brother a mixture of jealous and proud. If she tried, maybe she could reinvent a version of herself that was entirely new. She took a moment to recognize that what this man was telling her had to be sincere, or he wouldn't have bothered saying anything. She had never met someone, or a pack for that matter, who were so dedicated to supporting those they chose to take in. He knows nothing of me or the things that I've done to get here. Yet he's still here, trying to convince me that I can belong here if I wanted to. That must count for something.

For the moment, she just wanted to take in the grand environment before them. The sun was now floating just above the horizon, its radiance making the land viridescent and peaceful. She closed her eyes as a gentle breeze passed through, then breathed and faced him again.

"I believe you. This might sound stupid, but I, er... I come from a rather small family, and I've never known places like this even existed. Just in stories. And now it's real, and I'm here, and... it's been difficult to accept that it came with a price." She pushed a pebble around with her paw, circling it in the dirt. "And I wish there was something I could do to make it easier to truly be a part of it. Whatever that may be."

She suddenly felt embarrassed by how much she was sharing with him, and she shook her head. Why was she suddenly so talkative? "Uhm. What I meant to say was--" she finally stood up and let her shoulders relax, and took a step towards him to dip her head in respect. "My name is Ivaylo."

"Well met, Ivaylo. I am Necros. I think you will fit right in with the rest of us."

She couldn't help but chuckle with him, not really knowing what for, but she was glad that the tension was gone now and she could begin to get comfortable around him. She sighed, breathing in fresh morning air that tasted like grass and dew. "Thank you."

She considered for a moment that all the problems she had faced, the discomfort she endured since coming here, was probably all created inside her head. That may have been obvious to Necros, but it wasn't as clear to her as it was now. This was the most pleasant she had felt since her arrival. If only she could always be this open to new faces, new wolves, new experiences. Ivaylo wanted to tell herself that she could be still, but she knew she would be lying to herself. It would be awhile longer until she became truly comfortable with being that vulnerable to change.

"Is there someplace you need to be? If not I'd like to show you one of my favorite spots."

She turned to him, gazing into his amber eyes, then smiled warmly. How kind of him to offer. After all, she had mostly stayed outside the perimeters of the wall all this time. It would be nice to see what the territory was like away from the lowlands. "Aha, no, I'm not busy. That sounds great," she said, rising from where she sat. She watched as he approached the wall and slipped through the entrance, then heard a strange noise from the other side.

Her ears pricked, and she sniffed the air. It was strange, but familiar, reminding her of similar scents that she had detected back home in her forest. Although, she had never found the true source of these smells. She padded closer, a concerned look on her face.

"Is... everything alright?" she asked curiously. She peered over Necros, spotting a small figure in front of him yapping and growling. It was a small, strange child who seemed to be aggravated. How odd, she thought as she studied its figure and bizarre features. She would have attempted to soothe it or at least understand what had made them so annoyed if she could get past Necros, but she didn't want to budge past. That would be rude. So instead, she came a bit closer to get a better look.

"They're, um... cute. Do you know this kid?"

She supposed their little walk would have to be post-poned for the time being, but she didn't particularly mind. This was possibly a chance to meet some of the youth of this pack.

Ivaylo stared awkwardly between the two as Necros moved aside, watching the little hell pup analyze the dark male with suspicion at first, then soon relaxed and showed excitement once he was identified. She wondered what their meeting had been like, if Necros had been sweet and patient with the little boy. She smiled as he stared down at him, not knowing what to do. She didn't exactly know what to do either, so she didn't blame him. After all, it was funny to see him so perplexed. Children were never really her forte since she felt and acted like one constantly. Her smiled seemed to fade as she thought of Angus, her friend, and where he might be right now. Her stare became blank as she became lost in worry and depression again, and hearing the small child yip and seeing his tail wag only made it worse. She was truly lost without Angus, even after reached Gemini and had made it her permanent home. What was she, really, without him by her side? A broken sister, forgotten friend, only half meaningful. Never enough to feel fulfilling. She could feel her eyes water a bit.

"Flower?"

Her head shook lightly as she was pulled back to reality by the hellish boy, and she looked down in surprise as he had drawn much closer to her than before. Her eyes darted around, then settled back on his small vivid frame. "O-oh... Me? No, I'm not a--" she paused, turning her head to take one good whiff of her flank. "Oh." Ah, so she had smelled a bit like flowers and some grass. Only because she marinated herself in them while dozing off the other night. She had really better start taking care of herself more and not let herself go so much. She had an example to set, especially for the young one. Looking back at him, she thought it would be best to make him feel comfortable being around her. The one thing a child deserved from their elder peers was to be assured that this world was to be safe and kind to them. No child was deserving of cruelty or neglect.

Ivaylo fumbled for words, but finally crouched down to meet him at eye level. "Uh, yeah, Flower. And what's your name, little one?" she asked gently, her tail waving gregariously. She wasn't expecting this sudden new company, but she doubted he would cause any trouble or delay their visit to Necros' sanctuary. In fact, she felt it was much less demanding to be introduced to the youth of the pack than the most renowned adults. She could be the careless young soul she used to be, way back then. She felt the grin return to her lips as she looked up at Necros and nodded her head at him. "Seems we have a friend joining us. But let's be sure he returns home safely after our small walk?"

Ivaylo's friendly demeanor soon diminished as the little hell pup cowered and began to shudder in what seemed like fear or hesitation. Her smile faded into a look of concern, and she backed up a few steps to give him some space. Still, she waited for him to answer, and not overwhelm him. But something didn't seem right. He looked sad. Was it something she had said? Did she scare him? Flower wasn't scary. Flower was understanding and gentle. She could feel her soul waver as she watched the poor boy stumble and fumble for words. But a small shake of the head was all he could get out. "Oh, no... It's okay. I'm sorry. You can go play, if you want," she tried speaking in a low voice, as to not frighten him any further. She had trouble figuring out what must be wrong. Either it was her or... something personal about him. Ivaylo was at a loss, but wished she knew what to say to ease the boy.

She turned to Necros, disappointment in her eyes as she tried to avert her attention to something else. "I think I made him sad," she whimpered. She wasn't as good with kids as she believed she might be. She was just a kid herself. Maybe that would have put things in perspective, but truly it didn't and it filled her heart with a weight that she couldn't bear dwelling on. But could she really leave another small child alone like this? Her mind wandered to Angus, and she caught herself grinding her teeth. "He'll be fine," she declared, walking past the two of them and entering through the rest of the wall. "He might change his mind once he's alone." Was it sarcasm on her tone? She wasn't quite sure. All she could do was huff to herself and shake her head, wandering a little ways off to wait. She would let Necros decide what to do with Arcas as she sulked by herself. If Necros followed, she would continue to walk. If not, she would simply wait. Too much remembrance for one day.