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+--- Thread: [PRP] julep (/thread-3195.html)
julep - Amen - January 12, 2018
The Gasping Woods are her favorite place to be- the rise and fall of the land, the loneliness that hung in the air, and the way it looked with a dusting of snow was enough to make Amen feel.. at home. It was enough to allow the daughter of a Ghost and a King to recognize that- despite all her adventures and the yearning in her heart that there is simply more- Gemini is, in fact, home.
But there were things missing, that left her heart incomplete, and with that same look you'd give a picture of a loved one who is no longer with you, Amen looked out across the trees and wished for a familiar comfort. She could see a little girl playing in the snow, blue like the ocean, and she could see a prince and his brother measuring pawprints, but these were not her memories. They were her dreams, her hopes, stories she told herself to sleep easier at night and to fall away in once she settled in.
She travels slowly to her den, some half-dug space beneath a log, covered by dead brush to keep the snow out. It provided everything she needed. Just outside of it sits a tree with a low knot, where she had begun placing bright flowers and pinecones as a way to signal for her that this is where she stayed. For awhile it was necessary, getting lost in the woods was easier than she wanted to admit, but now she could travel through them with her eyes closed.
Amen lets out a soft sigh as she sits outside, clearing her mind of all the family drama that had taken place over the last few days, weeks- whatever- and allowing her thoughts to drift to happier memories. She closes her eyes and takes in a deep breath, catching a familiar smell on the wind that warmed her entire body. It reminds her of Inaria, it reminds her of a long river followed and a Golden Queen, but mostly, it reminds her of someone she speaks to every night, whether they were there or not never mattered, because the Moon was. And the Moon always listened.
The Sun itself was setting, laying a warm glow over wherever it could still touch, and she could feel the temperature dropping, but it barely bothered her anymore. Sometimes, when she least expects it, she feels a chill, but she only has to remember her lucky she really is, and the world feels warmer.
"It's me again, I'm sorry- I'm also sorry for being sorry.. You can see things, but I never know if you can hear them, so if you can.. just know that I feel silly still. It's been so long since I've seen you, and I.. I don't know if I'm.. if I should just let go, but I don't want to. Whenever I leave, I try to find you, I try to stay away from where you live, because I know.. I know I'd never come back here, so I hope.. I always hope to see you free," and despite the aching in her heart, it would be nothing in comparison to how she'd feel if she simply left her fathers, and the siblings that remained, "But I keep.. I keep messing up.. I.. I ran into my grandpa, I ran into my.. his.. wife.. and.." she feels her chest tighten, her heart sink.
"I was stupid and told him where we were, I didn't know he was a bad guy. I don't know if.. if he really is, but Zeke thinks he is-" and despite feeling estranged from him, she couldn't help but take everything so hard, "I don't want anyone to get hurt, I don't want her to be taken back, okay? She still has kids back in Saboro, and.. and she wants to get them, I think.. and I get that.. I.. if I could.. if I could find a way to bring Aeon back, I would," if it were at all possible, she would cross oceans and lands to bring Tauro back, too, so her sister and their kids could have their peace. "If it means I don't have to see anyone else hurt, I'd do it. I can't stand being near anyone anymore. Everyone is sad anymore, or at least that's all I see. Sad and angry and.." she doesn't acknowledge that there is happiness there, that if she had bothered to stick around, she would actually see it.
"..Eira," Amen whimpers now, opening her eyes and looking to the disturbed snow in front of her. "Eira, I'm so lonely. I know that's stupid, I know, I know, just look around me, right.." she can't even bring herself to look away from her paws now. "If you can hear me, if you've heard me at all these last couple of months, please.. I.. I know I'm being dumb, but.. I.. a sign.. to know you're listening.. or that.. maybe you've.. maybe I'm not the only one who.." she shakes her head and fights back tears. Why was she crying? This was stupid, this is so stupid.
"I think I'm gonna do something stupid, Eira," she finally admits, acknowledging the nagging in her to go and do what she was asked not to, or told not to, whatever. If she can't save Aeon, or Tauro, or Kariya, then.. she could definetly save Poltergeist's kids, right?
RE: julep - .Eira. - January 14, 2018
Home meant something different for Eira. She had never had a place that felt like hers, no coordinate or locality that felt like the place she was supposed to be. Until now. She hoped.
Eira had been born a nomad. As a child she had followed her parents with her heavy head lifted, listening. After the storm she had gone onward alone, until the horizon lead her to a dark forest. But she couldn't stay there, not forever. She'd gone to Inaria, with it's lavender petals and the weight of unspoken history, and her eyes had been opened. She'd had a dream of a little blue boy reaching for a star. And then she'd traveled once again across the wastes, looking for ghosts and answers and most importantly that thing she'd never had. A home.
The little jagged piece of Alteron wedged in heart was just as uncomfortable as ever. Dusk was falling like snow around her. Her broken antlers glowed a soft foxfire blue.
She came across a stump adorned with flowers, and stopped to consider it's beauty, ducking her head low to sniff curiously at them. She didn't recognize these flowers. The flowers in Alteron were different. They tended to bloom singularly, with deep dark colors and twining vines. These were ghostly pale and had bloomed in abundance. A sliver of moon was visible behind treetops, and Eira regarded it fondly, the only friend that always travelled with her, no matter where she had gone. It didn't talk but it was pretty good at listening.
But it wasn't just the moon listening, tonight. A voice came from a nearby log, whispery and sweet and sorrowful, and Eira turned, startled, towards the source. It was unmistakable, Eira couldn't have forgotten it, no matter how much time Alteron had taken from her.
"It's me again, I'm sorry- I'm also sorry for being sorry.. You can see things, but I never know if you can hear them, so if you can.. just know that I feel silly still. It's been so long since I've seen you, and I.. I don't know if I'm.. if I should just let go, but I don't want to. Whenever I leave, I try to find you, I try to stay away from where you live, because I know.. I know I'd never come back here, so I hope.. I always hope to see you free."
The hellhound let out a soft gasp, beneath her breath, and closed her eyes at the weight of Amen's words. She pinned back her ears, but didn't interrupt the girl's message. It sounded like a prayer, almost, and it felt wrong to interrupt, wrong to eavesdrop, wrong to leave. The hellhound felt frozen in place. She talked about her family, about the pack. About sadness and about wanting to make things better, and Eira stood and listened as the dusk settled around her, and the shadows of the trees lengthened and broadened into a truer darkness.
"..Eira...Eira, I'm so lonely. I know that's stupid, I know, I know, just look around me, right...If you can hear me, if you've heard me at all these last couple of months, please.. I.. I know I'm being dumb, but.. I.. a sign.. to know you're listening.. or that.. maybe you've.. maybe I'm not the only one who.." There was a pause.
"I think I'm gonna do something stupid, Eira,"
Her eyes widened and the spell was broken, she stepped forward and bent low. She tried to duck her head, unwieldy as it was, into the space beneath the log, only managing because she was bending at an extremely awkward angle. She contorted her head to peer one moss green eye into the den, now glimmering with a cool blue pearlescent glow.
"Amen..." She said, eyes like dinner plates staring at the other girl. "Don't do anything stupid. It took me a really long time to get here."