In Dire Straits

Puffs of air took on a mist like quality as they left Puffin's nose, quickly dissipating into the crisp fall air. He wouldn't be able to see his breath as the sun rose higher, but for now, he blew out a voluminous cloud, imagining he was a firebreathing creature from the depths of a volcano, intent on warming the lands above. Which was silly, of course, but one was never too old to be silly. Taking his ease outside Kestrel's den, where he had stayed while she was gone, he wondered where his healer was now, and if she had found the help she sought.

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The journey had been long, and Kestrel felt the ache in her muscles just as the others surely did, but it had been successful. Just before dawn, the small group of travelers had breached the first outpost that welcomed them back to Nardir with satchels and bags full of herbs and seeds to plant.

Kestrel was proud of their work, and admittedly of herself for being able to complete such a task. 'We're home,' someone sighed in relief, and Kestrel smiled down at the view below the ridge. Trees had already begun changing colors, speckles of reds and oranges between evergreens and pines. The territory was beautiful. Alive. She just hoped the family within was surviving in the same way. With instruction to drop off their haul at the hospital as soon as they could, Kestrel dismissed her companions and started her own trek back home.

In the distance, a howl rang out to signal their arrival home, and she joined in as well, feeling a last surge of energy push her toward home. Toward him. She'd left after he got sick, and it killed her, and she prayed to the moon and stars that he was safe.

Please let him be safe.

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He caught her scent on the breeze, and immediately felt his heart beat faster. Ears pricking up, he sat up straigher and waited, trusting his senses yet fearing he was mistaken. When he saw her crest the hill, his pensive expression widened into a gleeful smile, and the dog broke into the most zigzag run of his life. His tail beat the air wildly behind him, moving with such force that his whole rear end wiggled from side to side, drastically impacting his ability to move in a straight line. Somehow he made it to Kestrel's side, slobbering her face then pressing the whole of his side against hers, then turning around to lick her face again. "YOU'RE BACK!" he panted hoarsly, his voice not what it used to be but loud all the same. He pulled back an inch, wanting to really look at her, and had a moment of anxiety that perhaps he had been too forward. Perhaps. Just like, maybe a little, for two canines who were supposed to be just coworkers...but he pushed the anxiety away, leaving nothing to diminish his smile. She was back. "I missed you!"

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It all happened in a flash, or maybe everything else seemed to happen really quickly in comparison to the slow-moving time outside the pack. The second she trotted over the hill, a blur of orange and black and white was zipping toward her so fast that she almost ducked away. But she didn't. She let the wiggling ball of excitement hit her, let him press kisses against her cheeks and lean against her frame. Kestrel welcomed him on instinct, only realizing it was him after he'd already approached. YOU'RE BACK!

An elated laugh burst through her chest and she grinned, both with shared excitement and sheer relief that he was okay. He was better. Maybe not cured, but he was better. "I'm back!" Kestrel repeated, tail happily whipping back and forth behind her. He moved away, only for a moment, and she let her grin soften into a warm smile. "I missed you, too," came her reply, and she leaned in to close the distance once more. Her white face pressed into the thick fluff on his neck in a sort of hug, nuzzling against him and breathing out a sigh of relief. "I'm so glad you're okay, Puffin."

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He grinned. He wasn't fully back to himself, and had a lot of work ahead in the coming months to become as strong as he used to be. But he had outlived the passing of whatever sickness this had been, and he would recover. "Thanks to you," he said, winking. "You are a very dedicated healer, you know." She had done a lot for him before she'd departed, and left very detailed instructions for his care while she was gone. "How was your trip? Where all did you go? What did you find?" He had to reign in his many questions; she could only answer so many at once, and she was probably tired from the journey. He knew Becrux had gone with her, and so he knew she had been safe. But she probably wanted a nap, and they had plenty of time now. They had time.

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His praises rang in her ears and she felt her face flush, managing to sputter out a sheepish 'thank you'. (Accepting such compliments was never a strong point for her, but they were always appreciated.) Kestrel smiled and took a seat close to his side, letting him ask his questions in a still-excited frenzy, and she stopped to think for a moment on where to begin.

"It was long. I don't know how you did it so many times! I guess it's been a long time since I've just... been out there." An honest laugh fell from her chest, and she tried to calculate just how long it'd been since she came to Nardir. She'd only left once before, to visit Tortuga after their forest fire. "But we were successful! Inaria assissted us- gave us help and herbs of all kinds, even seeds! I'm going to plant them. I want to start a garden." With a paw, she managed to untie the satchel that she wore around her chest, letting it drop to the ground and open. "This is going to help make everyone better. I know it."

Turning her blue gaze back to the dog, she offered a wide smile. "Other than that, we met a loner here and there. A few small groups. I think... there are a few packs Nardir should look into. Potential allies! For more help in situations like these, you know? I can tell you about them another time, though. How have things been around home? How have you been feeling?"

Now it was her turn to ask the questions!

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He smiled, sheepishly. He knew one of the first things she'd ask would be after his health, whether he had been following her instructions. And perhaps he had gone on too many walks alone, lately, trying to get his strength back. But he didn't have to tell her that, did he? "Better," he said. "I'm not dizzy anymore, and I haven't had any trouble keeping food down. I'm mostly just achey and tired all the time, which might be driving me up a wall, but I know I'll eventually get my strength back."

His tail wagged, fur catching a twig in its wake and dragging that back and forth as well. "I can't wait to get back on patrol. And we need to have a pack meeting, to count heads. There are a lot of people I haven't seen recently, and we need to make sure they're getting attention. But we've been getting by, I think." It would be better, now that Kestrel was back. "Sarajevo will be having her litter soon, and I have been invited to attend. I can go, right? No one will catch anything from me anymore, right?"

His heart beat a little faster, looking at her bright blue eyes. "And-- um-- I know you said not to overexert myself, but maybe if I had my trusty healer with me on my walks, I might be able to go for longer...maybe get my strength up faster..." He looked away as he spoke, but glanced back at her to try to judge her reaction as he trailed off. What was he thinking? She just said she was tired from the journey, she didn't want to go on walks with him!

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"I'm so glad, Puffin. I was worried about leaving to find help. I didn't want to leave any of the sick." I didn't want to leave you. "I'm so glad you're feeling better." Kestrel leaned in to give the dog a gentle brush of the shoulder before pulling back, and letting him continue. Even though she knew he wasn't back to 100% just yet, he was better and his bright attitude and excitement reassured her that he would pull through just fine.

The more he rambled, the bigger her smile grew, and she couldn't help but to just watch him. She'd missed him. He hadn't been himself for a long while. "I do still want you to take it easy, Puffin," she chuckled, "but I can give you the go ahead to visit Sarajevo. You shouldn't be contagious anymore! And, well, if you are... then I think I'm as well as doomed." A paw lifted to wipe at her still soaked face, and she let loose another laugh. "Not that I mind, or anything! It'll be well worth your welcome home display." It took a sudden self vote of confidence, but she moved closer to press a kiss to Puffin's cheek in return for his earlier assault.

"Tomorrow," came her answer, not long after his voice trailed off, and she gave him a soft smile. "We'll go for a walk tomorrow. I'd love to visit the lake- the one next to the flower fields. Is that okay?"

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The lake next to the flower fields. He awoke the next morning with the spot fixed in his mind, phantom blades of grass tickling his paw pads. The smells of rosemary and thyme, however, were not phantom; he was still sharing her den, in the last dying throes of his sickness. He had moved in at her request when the sickness had first taken hold, so she could better care for him, and had yet to okay his departure.

He also just hadn't asked. He found he liked the smell of rosemary in the morning. And some other smells.

His internal clock had awoken him as the sun rose, as it did every morning, and he took a moment to watch his healer sleep. She was always lovely, soft and sweet, but he had so rarely taken leave to really look. Her fur was a warm shade of brown, and in the sunlight that peaked into the den, it was almost red, like clay. He counted her cream spots, on her shoulder and side and hip. Like stars in the night. Her one brown paw was against her face, obscuring the perfect cream oval that framed it.

Warmth bloomed in his chest, and for the first time, he recognized it for what it was. He watched her breathe. How silly he had been. Carefully, with tender gentleness, he pressed his nose to her ear to wake her. "Share a walk with me?" he breathed.

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It was so good to be home. Home had become everything to her during her absence, and everything was so much closer to her than she'd ever known before.

Within her quaint den, warmed by gentle breath, she had curled against him sometime in the middle of the night. Dreams and images flashed merrily against the inside of her eyelids, but somewhere in the real world the warmth against her shoulder stirred silently. Kestrel gave a gentle whine. She hadn’t let Puffin out of her care yet, and despite telling herself that it was solely for his wellbeing she knew what she had really wanted. She knew why. She’d always known.

Maybe it was selfish of her, but she found herself caring less and less every morning that she woke up at his side. Stay here forever, her mind insisted. Please stay. Something cold pressed against her ear, carefully shooing away the clouds of memories that replayed in her head, and sleepy eyes blinked open to greet the morning and the figure that had urged her from slumber. ”This early?” A sleepy chuckle bubbled from her chest, but she found herself moving to sit up and shake the sleep from her ruffled coat. ”I’d love to, Puffin.” Giving him a soft smile and a nod, she followed the husky out into the cold morning air. Nardir was beautiful, she told herself, blue eyes slipping around to look at the sun-drenched forest around them.

Dew sparkled on dying autumn leaves, birds chattered and sang overhead. She was home. Puffin, standing and waiting for her to follow, entered her gaze and the breath she wasn’t aware she’d been holding dispersed as vapor in the space between them.

He was home.

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He walked beside her as they went, his stride matching hers. They were the same height, for all that she was a wolf and he a dog. It had been noticeable at first, that while everyone else towered over him, she could look him in the eye. Now the novelty of it was far gone; it was familiar. She was familiar. Her gaze, her smile, her step, the way she laughed-- he loved her company, her jokes, her determination, her ingenuity. In more ways than one, he had realized recently.

He watched her fondly as they walked, hearing the birdsong and breathing the crisp morning air. It puffed between them with each breath, visible in the air for mere moments before dispersing. "Kestrel," he began, looking at her and not at all where he was going, in true Puffin fashion. "I wanted to say that I, um. I'm really grateful for everything you've done, for me, and of course for the pack but right now I mean for me, because I uh. It's been really nice, staying with you, for all this time, and it's also really nice having you back, and I like spending time with you, and I, ah--" His foot caught a rock and he stumbled before righting himself. "Right. I, uh," he said, looking sheepishly at the rock before looking back to Kestrel. "I like you, a lot, is what I wanted to say. But also all the other stuff, that's also true." He smiled, trying to keep his nervousness out of it, probably failing.

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Even when her eyes wandered from the path ahead of them or the presence that so comfortably fit at her side, she could feel his eyes on her. Those big, expressive brown eyes that she’d seen light up like firecrackers any time he had a new idea or epiphany, like a literal lightbulb flickering to life beneath his ears. This was the first time in a long time that she’d seen them so clear and bright, and any time her own gaze met his, her chest tightened just a fraction more. Whether it was nerves or happiness, she didn’t know, but it brought the edge of a silly grin to her face every single time.

Kestrel broke up the silence with idle chitchat, allowing for long pauses to listen to the world around them- fresh, vibrant, and bustling with the new promises of life. Her name spoken in a direct, yet still careful tone, brought her back to reality as he began to talk. He was good at talking- they both were. They had that in common, and they were also both very good at listening, which was what Kestrel was doing, but she didn’t know if she was hearing correctly. Puffin stumbled over his words a little(and then over a rock, but Kestrel just helped him right himself with a concerned giggle), and as much as she knew it was likely the toll of walking so far in a still-healing body, she wondered if he was just as nervous around her as she was around him. Afraid of messing up, or scaring the other away somehow, if that was even possible. But…

"Right. I, uh-"

Kestrel felt her ego swell a little bit, just for a moment embarrassingly proud to receive his praise. She was about to break her silence to thank him and tell him that she was just doing her job, but he continued, and any words she thought she might have had planned out evaporated into the morning air like dew on daylilies. "I like you, a lot, is what I wanted to say. But also all the other stuff, that's also true." And then, while uncharacteristic for a wolf but not so much for one that had spent most of the past three years around a domestic dog, her tail wagged slowly, happily behind her like a flag in the gentle evening breeze, and she smiled at him.

“I like you, too, Puffin. Y’know… you were there the first day I stepped foot outside this pack and you helped make Nardir home to me. I really appreciate it.” The thrumming of her heartbeat in her ears almost drowned out her words, and the next thing that slipped out was only meant to be a thought. “I love Nardir, and I love this big family, and I love you and I- uh.” Uhhh. Kestrel had broken eye contact a few moments before and was now glad that she did, but it didn’t keep her from wanting to recede inside herself like a turtle does. “You know.” Keep it casual, Kestrel.

Calm down.

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His heart skipped a beat, and he felt his pawpads tingle with static, as though they were considering falling asleep. What? His mind raced through all the possibilities of what she meant, the real meaning of her words. She loved him, as a packmate? As the dog who had taken her acceptance? As someone who had always been a friend, been kind, when perhaps not everyone had? As someone who had enjoyed her mead and encouraged her to continue making it? As the person who had had the authority to create a rank around something she had done? As someone who had supported and authorized her trip to Inaria and elsewhere in search of a cure for Nardir's disease? As a friend? Or...as more than a friend?

He was a fool, for having taken so long to realize how he felt, but for all his years he had never felt like this before. Perhaps once, he had felt an inkling of the same, but it was long ago, a distant memory from another life. To speak of what he felt now, almost as soon as recognizing it for what it was, was his nature; he had learned long ago not to reserve feelings like this out of fear. He was a dog of few regrets, except those which he had never had the power to change in the first place. He did not expect anything from Kestrel; telling her was enough, it was a chance worth taking no matter the outcome. But if she did return his feelings...

He could not reconcile the surprise he felt with the hope he also held. His gaze searched for hers, even as she looked away. He poured his attention over her expression, her tone, everything. "You know," she said. "No, I...don't think I do. You've thrown me for a bit of a loop, actually," he replied, laughing a little. His mouth was suddenly very dry. These weeks living in her den, the way she looked after him, the way she never once talked about his leaving, came together in his mind. He was better now, he could have moved back to his own den days ago at the very least, but neither of them had spoken of it.

He looked at the ground. He scrambled to put feelings to words to coherent and grammatically correct sentences, and it felt like trying to put together an unsolvable puzzle. "I just...mean that I have...greatly enjoyed living with you. And being with you. And I kind of...want to keep doing that, even though I'm better. Because you're really cool. So...what I mean, is, I like you, as more than a friend, but if that's not what you mean, then that's okay. I just, I don't-- uh, I don't want to make things weird, if that's-- okay well I guess it's already weird, now, so I'll just...stop talking...." His stomach was twisted in knots around itself. Why did he feel so hot?

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Puffin [RP]

Kestrel.

Puffin [RP]

Kestrel.

Puffin [RP]

Kestrel.

Puffin [RP]

Kestrel.

Puffin [RP]

Kestrel.

Puffin [RP]

Kestrel.

Puffin [RP]